Re: [Gen-art] Gen-ART Last Call review of draft-ietf-ecrit-ecall-21

Randall Gellens <rg+ietf@randy.pensive.org> Fri, 06 January 2017 12:07 UTC

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Date: Fri, 6 Jan 2017 04:07:09 -0800
To: Meral Shirazipour <meral.shirazipour@ericsson.com>, "draft-ietf-ecrit-ecall.all@tools.ietf.org" <draft-ietf-ecrit-ecall.all@tools.ietf.org>, "gen-art@ietf.org" <gen-art@ietf.org>
From: Randall Gellens <rg+ietf@randy.pensive.org>
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Subject: Re: [Gen-art] Gen-ART Last Call review of draft-ietf-ecrit-ecall-21
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Hi Meral,

Thank you for your review, I appreciate it.  Please see inline.

At 12:11 AM +0000 1/6/17, Meral Shirazipour wrote:

>  I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area 
> Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed by 
> the IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just like 
> any other last call comments.
>
>  For more information, please see the FAQ at 
> <https://trac.ietf.org/trac/gen/wiki/GenArtfaq>.
>
>  Document: draft-ietf-ecrit-ecall-21
>  Reviewer: Meral Shirazipour
>  Review Date: 2017-01-05
>  IETF LC End Date: 2017-01-06
>  IESG Telechat date: 2017-01-19
>
>
>  Summary: This draft is ready to be published as Standards Track RFC 
> but I have comments.
>
>  Major issues:
>
>  Minor issues:
>  -I find the document could be clearer if put in context with other 
> documents related to the topic/if any.
>  -By eCall do we mean voice and video calls? (is emergency sms 
> another possibility?)

The Introduction has text explaining that an eCall establishes a 
voice channel and carries vehicle data, but I added "providing a 
voice channel and transmission of data" earlier in the section to 
make this more clear.  eCall does not use SMS.

>
>  Nits/editorial comments:
>  -General: "next-generation eCall" and "NG-eCall" are both used. 
> Would be clearer to use only one.
>  -[Page 10], "PSAP interpets"--typo-->"PSAP interprets"
>  -[Page 13], "package to accomodate"--typo-->"package to accommodate"
>  -[Page 17], "how it it used"----->"how it is used"
>  -[Page 17], "when it is is required"----->"when it is required"
>  -[Page 18], "it is is required"----->"it is required"  (two occurrences)
>  -[Page 18], "how it it used."----->"how it is used." (two occurrences)
>  -[Page 37], "Based on the the"---->"Based on the"
>

Thank you.

-- 
Randall Gellens
Opinions are personal;    facts are suspect;    I speak for myself only
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