[Gen-art] review of draft-ietf-sidr-slurm-06.txt
Francis Dupont <Francis.Dupont@fdupont.fr> Mon, 26 February 2018 16:50 UTC
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From: Francis Dupont <Francis.Dupont@fdupont.fr>
To: gen-art@ietf.org
Cc: draft-ietf-sidr-slurm.all@ietf.org
Date: Mon, 26 Feb 2018 17:24:20 +0100
Archived-At: <https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/gen-art/CVr307xZdAkaoJf_nuCUYMHaU2g>
Subject: [Gen-art] review of draft-ietf-sidr-slurm-06.txt
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I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed by the IESG for the IETF Chair. Please treat these comments just like any other last call comments. For more information, please see the FAQ at <https://trac.ietf.org/trac/gen/wiki/GenArtfaq>. Document: draft-ietf-sidr-slurm-06.txt Reviewer: Francis Dupont Review Date: 20180217 IETF LC End Date: 20180221 IESG Telechat date: unknown Summary: Ready Major issues: None Minor issues: None Nits/editorial comments: - ToC page 2 and 6 page 14 (title): Security considerations -> Security Considerations - ToC page 2 and 7 page 14: Acknowledgements -> Acknowledgments - 1 page 3: please expand the TA abbrev (it is the only occurrence BTW). - 1.1. page 3: add a reference to RFC 8174 which updates RFC 2119 fixing the keyword case silly issue. - 2 page 3: please introduce the RP abbrev before (RP is not well known because it has 4 different meanings. Here it is not ambiguous but for instance RP does not stand for the beginning of RPKI...) - 3.1 page 4: [RFC8259]format -> [RFC8259]format (missing space). - 3.1 page 4: for me the right reference to JSON specs is ECMA-404. Now I don't know the policy of the IETF about this particular point (anyway if this must be fixed this will be by the RFC Editor?) - 3.2 page 5: I leave the choice to introduce FQDN to you (for me it is more than well known but it is not in RFC Editor list https://www.rfc-editor.org/materials/abbrev.expansion.txt) - 3.2 page 5: MUST in " all targets must be acceptable"? - 3.3 page 6 example 1: "asn": 65536 -> "asn": 65536, (missing comma which leads to incorrect JSON) - 3.3 page 7 example 2: another missing comma at the same position. - 3.4.1 page 7: I have no idea whether "subsume" is common English or not, one of the authors is from China so I believe it is... - 3.4.2 page 8: please introduce the SKI abbrev. - 3.4.2 page 8 and 3.5.2 page 10: the document does not specify what is the encoding. I suppose it is BER? If you believe it is not useful you can keep the document as it is (i.e. not adding new encoding details). Note for the public key 3.5.2 says DER. - 3.6 pages 11 and 12: there are JSON pretty-printers available if you like (I even have one :-). (I don't mean 3.6 JSON is not well indented, just signal there are tools in the case you don't already know). - 4.2 page 13 (twice): Y,Z -> Y, Z - 6 page 14: strange (to me) comma in "by the RPKI, to that RP." - authors' addresses page 17: China -> PR China or CN - authors' addresses page 17: I am not sure that to be affilated to his own personal organization is to be "unaffiliated"... IMHO the problem is the XML schema requires the organization field to be set (:-). Regards Francis.Dupont@fdupont.fr
- [Gen-art] review of draft-ietf-sidr-slurm-06.txt Francis Dupont
- Re: [Gen-art] review of draft-ietf-sidr-slurm-06.… David Mandelberg
- Re: [Gen-art] review of draft-ietf-sidr-slurm-06.… Di Ma
- Re: [Gen-art] review of draft-ietf-sidr-slurm-06.… Alissa Cooper