[Gen-art] Gen-Art review of draft-ietf-appsawg-greylisting

<kathleen.moriarty@emc.com> Mon, 23 April 2012 16:59 UTC

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From: <kathleen.moriarty@emc.com>
To: <draft-ietf-appsawg-greylisting.all@tools.ietf.org>, <iesg@ietf.org>, <gen-art@ietf.org>
Date: Mon, 23 Apr 2012 12:59:10 -0400
Thread-Topic: Gen-Art review of draft-ietf-appsawg-greylisting
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Subject: [Gen-art] Gen-Art review of draft-ietf-appsawg-greylisting
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I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on
Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at
< http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>gt;.

Please wait for direction from your document shepherd
or AD before posting a new version of the draft.

Document: draft-ietf-appsawg-greylisting
Reviewer: Kathleen Moriarty
Review Date: 23 April
IETF LC End Date:
IESG Telechat date: (if known)

Summary:  Ready with nits.
This memo describes the art of email greylisting, the practice of
   providing temporarily degraded service to unknown email clients as an
   anti-abuse mechanism.

Major issues:

Minor issues:

Nits/editorial comments:
Introduction: First sentence:  The word 'differential' should be 'different' unless you change the sentence structure.  It could be that there is a differential between services.
Second sentence:  Change provider to providing
Change from: "In some cases an actor does not have a known reputation; this can justify providing degraded service, until there is a basis for provider better service."
To: "In some cases an actor does not have a known reputation;
   this can justify providing degraded service, until there is a basis
   for providing better service."

Section 2.1: The double dashes should be parentheses instead -- -- replaced by ()
Section 3, third paragraph, last sentence: add a comma:
From: To the greylisting
   implementation such clients are once again unknown, and they will
   once again be subjected to the delay.
To: To the greylisting
   Implementation, such clients are once again unknown, and they will
   once again be subjected to the delay.

Section 3, fourth paragraph, second sentence: remove the comma:
From: It has to be
   large enough to keep the necessary history, and fast enough to avoid
   excessive inefficiencies in the server's operations.
To: It has to be
   large enough to keep the necessary history and fast enough to avoid
   excessive inefficiencies in the server's operations.

Section 3, fifth paragraph, second to last sentence: remove "the," and "such"
From: Experience suggests that
   the, the vast majority of mail comes from places on such a developed
   exception list, so after a training period, only a small proportion
   of mail is actually affected.
To: Experience suggests that
   the vast majority of mail comes from places on a developed
   exception list, so after a training period, only a small proportion
   of mail is actually affected.

Section 4.1: second to last paragraph: remove unnecessary comma:
From: Other side effects include out-of-order delivery of related,
   sequenced messages.
To: Other side effects include out-of-order delivery of related
   sequenced messages.

Section 4.2: Second paragraph:  The commas can be removed as only two items are joined in the list.  When you have three or more, a comma is used.