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From: Jari Arkko <jari.arkko@piuha.net>
In-Reply-To: <94FB12C5-C701-4763-AFC0-3996E3C1F8E8@vigilsec.com>
Date: Thu, 14 May 2015 00:39:55 +0200
Message-Id: <2E380F07-1489-4D15-B80F-2D42D67FBD4F@piuha.net>
References: <94FB12C5-C701-4763-AFC0-3996E3C1F8E8@vigilsec.com>
To: Russ Housley <housley@vigilsec.com>
Archived-At: <http://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/gen-art/EQg08AJa9T_9hI_7tbk37nZkAus>
Cc: IETF Gen-ART <gen-art@ietf.org>, draft-ietf-rtgwg-mofrr.all@ietf.org,
 IETF <ietf@ietf.org>
Subject: Re: [Gen-art] Gen-ART Review of draft-ietf-rtgwg-mofrr-06
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Thanks for your review, Russ.

For what it is worth, I do not see any changes relating to your comments =
in the -07. Have you authors seen Russ=92 comments?

Jari

On 17 Apr 2015, at 18:25, Russ Housley <housley@vigilsec.com> wrote:

> I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on
> Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at
> <http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.
>=20
> This review is in response to a request for early Gen-ART review.
>=20
> Document: draft-ietf-rtgwg-mofrr-06
> Reviewer: Russ Housley
> Review Date: 2015-04-17
> IETF LC End Date: 2015-04-30
> IESG Telechat date: unknown
>=20
> Summary: Almost Ready
>=20
>=20
> Major Concerns:
>=20
> None
>=20
>=20
> Minor Concerns:
>=20
> Please add POP to the list of terms in Section 1.2.
>=20
> The introduction to Section 6 really only talks about Section 6.1.
> Perhaps Sections 6 and 6.1 should be merged.  If they are merged, it
> could look like this:=20
>=20
>   6.  MoFRR Applicability to Dual-Plane Topology
>=20
>   MoFRR applicability is topology dependent.  The applicability is the
>   same as LFA FRR which is discussed in [RFC6571].
>=20
>   MoFRR works best in dual-planes topologies as illustrated in the
>   figures below.  MoFRR may be enabled on any router in the network.
>   In the figures below, MoFRR is shown enabled on the Provider Edge
>   (PE) routers to illustrate one way in which the technology may be
>   deployed.
>=20
>   . . .=20
>=20
> If this suggestion is taken, Sections 6.2, 6.3, and 6.4 could become
> top-level sections of their own.
>=20
>=20
> Other Comments:
>=20
> The figures are referenced in many ways: FIG3, Fig3, and Fig 3.
> Please pick one style and use it throughout the document.
>=20
> Section 1, 2nd paragraph: add a period at the end of the paragraph.
>=20
> Section 1.2, LFA definition: add a period after the first sentence.
>=20
> Section 4, intro paragraph: Delete "  See below;" from the end.
>=20
> Section 5, 1st paragraph: s/section explore some/section explores =
some/
>=20


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