[Gen-art] Gen-ART review of draft-ietf-ccamp-gmpls-signaling-g709v3-11

"Vijay K. Gurbani" <vkg@bell-labs.com> Mon, 26 August 2013 15:27 UTC

Return-Path: <vkg@bell-labs.com>
X-Original-To: gen-art@ietfa.amsl.com
Delivered-To: gen-art@ietfa.amsl.com
Received: from localhost (localhost [127.0.0.1]) by ietfa.amsl.com (Postfix) with ESMTP id CE4B911E81A2 for <gen-art@ietfa.amsl.com>; Mon, 26 Aug 2013 08:27:47 -0700 (PDT)
X-Virus-Scanned: amavisd-new at amsl.com
X-Spam-Flag: NO
X-Spam-Score: -110.186
X-Spam-Level:
X-Spam-Status: No, score=-110.186 tagged_above=-999 required=5 tests=[AWL=0.413, BAYES_00=-2.599, RCVD_IN_DNSWL_HI=-8, USER_IN_WHITELIST=-100]
Received: from mail.ietf.org ([12.22.58.30]) by localhost (ietfa.amsl.com [127.0.0.1]) (amavisd-new, port 10024) with ESMTP id WzVhIJ2LzThg for <gen-art@ietfa.amsl.com>; Mon, 26 Aug 2013 08:27:42 -0700 (PDT)
Received: from ihemail4.lucent.com (ihemail4.lucent.com [135.245.0.39]) by ietfa.amsl.com (Postfix) with ESMTP id 4926311E8193 for <gen-art@ietf.org>; Mon, 26 Aug 2013 08:27:42 -0700 (PDT)
Received: from usnavsmail3.ndc.alcatel-lucent.com (usnavsmail3.ndc.alcatel-lucent.com [135.3.39.11]) by ihemail4.lucent.com (8.13.8/IER-o) with ESMTP id r7QFRdpB023063 (version=TLSv1/SSLv3 cipher=DHE-RSA-AES256-SHA bits=256 verify=FAIL); Mon, 26 Aug 2013 10:27:39 -0500 (CDT)
Received: from umail.lucent.com (umail.ndc.lucent.com [135.3.40.61]) by usnavsmail3.ndc.alcatel-lucent.com (8.14.3/8.14.3/GMO) with ESMTP id r7QFRc7D022349 (version=TLSv1/SSLv3 cipher=DHE-RSA-AES256-SHA bits=256 verify=NOT); Mon, 26 Aug 2013 10:27:38 -0500
Received: from shoonya.ih.lucent.com (shoonya.ih.lucent.com [135.185.237.229]) by umail.lucent.com (8.13.8/TPES) with ESMTP id r7QFRbsr028010; Mon, 26 Aug 2013 10:27:38 -0500 (CDT)
Message-ID: <521B7507.6000706@bell-labs.com>
Date: Mon, 26 Aug 2013 10:32:23 -0500
From: "Vijay K. Gurbani" <vkg@bell-labs.com>
Organization: Bell Laboratories, Alcatel-Lucent
User-Agent: Mozilla/5.0 (X11; Linux i686; rv:17.0) Gecko/20130805 Thunderbird/17.0.8
MIME-Version: 1.0
To: draft-ietf-ccamp-gmpls-signaling-g709v3@tools.ietf.org
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1; format=flowed
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
X-Scanned-By: MIMEDefang 2.57 on 135.245.2.39
X-Scanned-By: MIMEDefang 2.64 on 135.3.39.11
Cc: Adrian Farrel <adrian@olddog.co.uk>, General Area Review Team <gen-art@ietf.org>, Lou Berger <lberger@labn.net>, dbrungard@att.com
Subject: [Gen-art] Gen-ART review of draft-ietf-ccamp-gmpls-signaling-g709v3-11
X-BeenThere: gen-art@ietf.org
X-Mailman-Version: 2.1.12
Precedence: list
List-Id: "GEN-ART: General Area Review Team" <gen-art.ietf.org>
List-Unsubscribe: <https://www.ietf.org/mailman/options/gen-art>, <mailto:gen-art-request@ietf.org?subject=unsubscribe>
List-Archive: <http://www.ietf.org/mail-archive/web/gen-art>
List-Post: <mailto:gen-art@ietf.org>
List-Help: <mailto:gen-art-request@ietf.org?subject=help>
List-Subscribe: <https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art>, <mailto:gen-art-request@ietf.org?subject=subscribe>
X-List-Received-Date: Mon, 26 Aug 2013 15:27:47 -0000

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on
Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at
<http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.

Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments
you may receive.

Document: draft-ietf-ccamp-gmpls-signaling-g709v3-11
Reviewer: Vijay K. Gurbani
Review Date: Aug-26-2013
IETF LC End Date: Unknown
IESG Telechat date: Unknown

This document is ready as an Proposed Standard.

Major: 0
Minor: 0
Nits: 1

Nits:

- S1, first paragraph: Expand "OTN" on first use.  Also,
  s/provided for [G709-2012]./provided for OTNs [G709-2012]./

  The last substitution above is a general comment since this construct
  appears multiple times in S1 and the rest of the document.

  Essentially, you need a label before the reference itself.  Making the
  reference itself a label seems incongruent (at least to me).  I am
  filing this as a nit, so I will let you decide whether to change it or
  not.

Thanks,

- vijay
-- 
Vijay K. Gurbani, Bell Laboratories, Alcatel-Lucent
1960 Lucent Lane, Rm. 9C-533, Naperville, Illinois 60563 (USA)
Email: vkg@{bell-labs.com,acm.org} / vijay.gurbani@alcatel-lucent.com
Web: http://ect.bell-labs.com/who/vkg/  | Calendar: http://goo.gl/x3Ogq