Re: [Gen-art] Gen-ART Review of draft-ietf-forces-interfelfb-04

Jamal Hadi Salim <hadi@mojatatu.com> Wed, 01 June 2016 10:40 UTC

Return-Path: <hadi@mojatatu.com>
X-Original-To: gen-art@ietfa.amsl.com
Delivered-To: gen-art@ietfa.amsl.com
Received: from localhost (localhost [127.0.0.1]) by ietfa.amsl.com (Postfix) with ESMTP id 81DF012D157 for <gen-art@ietfa.amsl.com>; Wed, 1 Jun 2016 03:40:52 -0700 (PDT)
X-Virus-Scanned: amavisd-new at amsl.com
X-Spam-Flag: NO
X-Spam-Score: -2.599
X-Spam-Level:
X-Spam-Status: No, score=-2.599 tagged_above=-999 required=5 tests=[BAYES_00=-1.9, DKIM_SIGNED=0.1, DKIM_VALID=-0.1, HTML_MESSAGE=0.001, RCVD_IN_DNSWL_LOW=-0.7] autolearn=ham autolearn_force=no
Authentication-Results: ietfa.amsl.com (amavisd-new); dkim=pass (2048-bit key) header.d=mojatatu-com.20150623.gappssmtp.com
Received: from mail.ietf.org ([4.31.198.44]) by localhost (ietfa.amsl.com [127.0.0.1]) (amavisd-new, port 10024) with ESMTP id bRb2IHiHllm3 for <gen-art@ietfa.amsl.com>; Wed, 1 Jun 2016 03:40:50 -0700 (PDT)
Received: from mail-qg0-x230.google.com (mail-qg0-x230.google.com [IPv6:2607:f8b0:400d:c04::230]) (using TLSv1.2 with cipher ECDHE-RSA-AES128-GCM-SHA256 (128/128 bits)) (No client certificate requested) by ietfa.amsl.com (Postfix) with ESMTPS id 7295412D098 for <gen-art@ietf.org>; Wed, 1 Jun 2016 03:40:50 -0700 (PDT)
Received: by mail-qg0-x230.google.com with SMTP id 52so40401238qgy.0 for <gen-art@ietf.org>; Wed, 01 Jun 2016 03:40:50 -0700 (PDT)
DKIM-Signature: v=1; a=rsa-sha256; c=relaxed/relaxed; d=mojatatu-com.20150623.gappssmtp.com; s=20150623; h=mime-version:in-reply-to:references:from:date:message-id:subject:to :cc; bh=HAkf8lnlDuLsy9qWbJCa2pZ6AypwXC911PrNrnr7qY0=; b=gd5dOihJXBQX8jXyfyNdwHcE+8uYIhcUW1x7QC3xRq7MucgPmXiGkStJr0ephi3YOk heZo/kBu3Ov6ixELLECOQ9aHqkSoKU//JQ8+UVE5pYa1D7WYRhRR99DG0zEejJL96rW4 bA7YH2iA4FrPbp3bov6xbfZv9QtwobgMWORcGqMJYoNLKiiWwsdJm4u45D9/ejDBRCBx bjOyO6nay+2PxeSql66TTNTGWuM5BuDkZqcb5OiFcPEMYFXQa1BOebisPtz7oRkck/jk ivJ+eFlm9CpUQey3pq30KeU74GZkTKoUo9W4l3il3Z7F1hCo+qCFA7FviujZTpsNoJGf B53A==
X-Google-DKIM-Signature: v=1; a=rsa-sha256; c=relaxed/relaxed; d=1e100.net; s=20130820; h=x-gm-message-state:mime-version:in-reply-to:references:from:date :message-id:subject:to:cc; bh=HAkf8lnlDuLsy9qWbJCa2pZ6AypwXC911PrNrnr7qY0=; b=SGUHOmwSG3cwBhuFzdTJSPJIZQnP4ZONKgAjThRihnKm7+6Yl4w+dCwdpauLgKcwbM z45kK1fxXBNUVF9JCxfKuM0U9lU2D9VUhSl06RTRd7buNJTBvYn/ojwtCDu6fAWPMi1U kwKTpBa84yOYKRPD3256vwA3XVaCbzId4Q1XdWHKhLsFVxvnHJgq2Zo5UC/m/TnqtfHR sbo11fNUzU8PuvUObguAlwqhwub7X8xxWn6h/Jfg19cMynadnpRcnJw9oBygfASQxI2r iG+prfxGnsVRUcD8QK5RThpV2Nx4dkKC2HAaU6iff7m8VTDNUYwfLfan2hNUB37fFg1o x59g==
X-Gm-Message-State: ALyK8tI9nXiBGaK9biO/2ghB3aXCGPItF+NQUauRbOTqkTU+m/CzjVudHAx55H6lyLft3IuXL274ZoR2YSS00w==
X-Received: by 10.140.108.183 with SMTP id j52mr35281995qgf.90.1464777649565; Wed, 01 Jun 2016 03:40:49 -0700 (PDT)
MIME-Version: 1.0
Received: by 10.55.46.195 with HTTP; Wed, 1 Jun 2016 03:40:30 -0700 (PDT)
In-Reply-To: <B94EDFE2-F234-417B-B1C6-5A611D52B96E@vigilsec.com>
References: <B94EDFE2-F234-417B-B1C6-5A611D52B96E@vigilsec.com>
From: Jamal Hadi Salim <hadi@mojatatu.com>
Date: Wed, 01 Jun 2016 06:40:30 -0400
Message-ID: <CAAFAkD8PbOu8nLMD_z_Ci6Oemre0EC5-BF5mxjf_mck=ZF8btQ@mail.gmail.com>
To: Russ Housley <housley@vigilsec.com>
Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="001a113a68607a68d00534351fd8"
Archived-At: <http://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/gen-art/FXh-yx1ODFiO_RwsPYKVlfvRsEA>
Cc: draft-ietf-forces-interfelfb.all@ietf.org, IETF Gen-ART <gen-art@ietf.org>
Subject: Re: [Gen-art] Gen-ART Review of draft-ietf-forces-interfelfb-04
X-BeenThere: gen-art@ietf.org
X-Mailman-Version: 2.1.17
Precedence: list
List-Id: "GEN-ART: General Area Review Team" <gen-art.ietf.org>
List-Unsubscribe: <https://www.ietf.org/mailman/options/gen-art>, <mailto:gen-art-request@ietf.org?subject=unsubscribe>
List-Archive: <https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/browse/gen-art/>
List-Post: <mailto:gen-art@ietf.org>
List-Help: <mailto:gen-art-request@ietf.org?subject=help>
List-Subscribe: <https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art>, <mailto:gen-art-request@ietf.org?subject=subscribe>
X-List-Received-Date: Wed, 01 Jun 2016 10:40:52 -0000

Hi Russ,
You review is appreciated. Comments/responses below.

On Tue, May 31, 2016 at 2:54 PM, Russ Housley <housley@vigilsec.com> wrote:

>
> Major Concerns:
>
> In Section 5.2, the document says:
>
>    o  The Ethernet type is used to identify the frame as inter-FE LFB
>       type.  Ethertype 0xFEFE is to be used (XXX: Note to editor, likely
>       we wont get that value - update when available).
>
> There is a process for getting an ethertype assigned.  It is handled by
> the IESG.  Please see: http://www.ietf.org/iesg/statement/ethertypes.html
>
>
>

Indeed we are following that process. New (unpublished) text refers
to the ethertype as TBA1.


> Minor Concerns:
>
> In Section 1.2: s/document reiterates the terminology defined/
>                  /document depends on the terminology defined/
>
>
Fixed.


> In Section 2: s/The current ForCES model/The ForCES model/
>
>
Fixed.


>
> Nits:
>
> Many places: s/IPV4/IPv4/
>
>
Fixed.


> In Section 2: s/architecture calls out for/architecture calls for/
>
>
Fixed.


> In Section 3.1, why are the paragraphs in bullets?

They see to work
> just fine as normal paragraphs.
>
>
The assumptions are intended to stand out. I am struggling with
how to achieve that without enumerating them as in the doc.
Perhaps getting rid of that section and making it flow into the main
introductory text would be better? i.e something like:
"We make two fundamental assumptions ...:"
Then the two bullets follow.

In Section 5.2: s/header illustrated in Figure 6)/
>                  /header (illustrated in Figure 6)
>

Fixed.

Thanks again Russ.

cheers,
jamal