Re: [Gen-art] [Iasa20] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-iasa2-rfc5377bis-02
Elwyn Davies <elwynd@folly.org.uk> Thu, 15 August 2019 18:00 UTC
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Thread-Topic: Re: [Gen-art] [Iasa20] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-iasa2-rfc5377bis-02
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From: Elwyn Davies <elwynd@folly.org.uk>
Date: Thu, 15 Aug 2019 18:39:47 +0100
To: "Joel M. Halpern" <jmh@joelhalpern.com>
CC: Elwyn Davies <elwynd@dial.pipex.com>, gen-art@ietf.org, iasa20@ietf.org, draft-ietf-iasa2-rfc5377bis.all@ietf.org, ietf@ietf.org
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Subject: Re: [Gen-art] [Iasa20] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-iasa2-rfc5377bis-02
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Thanks. I'll keep a lookout for the updated draft. Cheers, Elwyn Get BlueMail for Android On 15 Aug 2019, 00:13, at 00:13, "Joel M. Halpern" <jmh@joelhalpern.com> wrote: >Thank you Elwyn. I have applied both changes to my private copy. I >will submit when the chairs / ADs request. > >Yours, >Joel > >On 8/14/2019 6:42 PM, Elwyn Davies via Datatracker wrote: >> Reviewer: Elwyn Davies >> Review result: Ready with Nits >> >> I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area >> Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed >> by the IESG for the IETF Chair. Please treat these comments just >> like any other last call comments. >> >> For more information, please see the FAQ at >> >> <https://trac.ietf.org/trac/gen/wiki/GenArtfaq>. >> >> Document: draft-ietf-iasa2-rfc5377bis-02 >> Reviewer: Elwyn Davies >> Review Date: 2019-08-14 >> IETF LC End Date: 2019-08-14 >> IESG Telechat date: Not scheduled for a telechat >> >> Summary: >> Ready with a couple of nits. The text of para 2 of section 3 refers >to an >> initial state that is not applicable to the transition which requires >this >> update. Emphasising continuity seems more appropriate. >> >> Major issues: >> None >> >> Minor issues: >> None >> >> Nits/editorial comments: >> Abstract, last sentence (very picky): Technically, what has been >removed from >> the text of RFC 5377 are references to the IAOC. Suggest s/IASA/IAOC >which was >> part of IASA/ >> >> s3, para 2, first sentence: The first sentence was applicable to the >original >> creation of the licence policies and text when responsibility was >initially >> transferred to the trustees and is inappropriate for the current >modification >> of the trust organisation. It could probably be safely deleted, or >the >> continuity could be emphasised by something like... OLD: >> The rough consensus described in this document reflects the >agreement >> of the IETF as of the IETF Last Call, and the Trustees of the >IETF >> Trust are to begin drafting license text and other materials to >act >> on these instructions upon IESG approval of this document for RFC >> publication. >> NEW: >> To ensure continuuty, the starting point for license text and >other materials >> will be that previiysly created by the Trustees of the IETF under >the >> authority of [RFC5377] which this document supersedes. >> ENDS >> This requires a reference to RFC 5377. >> >> _______________________________________________ >> iasa20 mailing list >> iasa20@ietf.org >> https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/iasa20 >> > >_______________________________________________ >Gen-art mailing list >Gen-art@ietf.org >https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art
- [Gen-art] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-i… Elwyn Davies via Datatracker
- Re: [Gen-art] [Iasa20] Genart last call review of… Joel M. Halpern
- Re: [Gen-art] [Iasa20] Genart last call review of… Elwyn Davies