[Gen-art] review of draft-ietf-avtcore-feedback-supression-rtp-16.txt

Francis Dupont <Francis.Dupont@fdupont.fr> Wed, 11 April 2012 15:42 UTC

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From: Francis Dupont <Francis.Dupont@fdupont.fr>
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Date: Wed, 11 Apr 2012 17:42:15 +0200
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Subject: [Gen-art] review of draft-ietf-avtcore-feedback-supression-rtp-16.txt
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I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on
Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at
< http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>gt;.

Please wait for direction from your document shepherd
or AD before posting a new version of the draft.

Document: draft-ietf-avtcore-feedback-supression-16.txt
Reviewer: Francis Dupont
Review Date: 20120323
IETF LC End Date: 20120326
IESG Telechat date: 20120412

Summary: Ready

Major issues: None

Minor issues: None

Nits/editorial comments:

These are about the -15 version updated to -16

 - I-D name: supression -> suppression

 - Abstract page 1: implosion -> explosion (things which can implode are rare :-)

 - Abstract page 1: signalling -> signaling

 - Toc page 2 and 9 page 12: Acknowledgement -> Acknowledgment

 - Introduction page 4: RTCP is not a well known abbrev: as it is first you have
 to introduce it.

 - Introduction page 4: same for SSM: please introduce the abbrev

 - Introduction page 4: implosion -> explosion

 - Introduction page 4 and other places: e.g. -> e.g.,

 - 3 page 6: ,which -> , which

 - 4 page 6: missing characters/words in "the PT, FMT,length SSRC"

 - 4.1 page 7: all caps in "transport layer third-party loss"

 - 4.2 page 7: if the SSRC is an IPv4 address the "set to 0" is not very correct.

 - 4.2 page 7: media Source -> media source

 - 4.2 page 8: :32 -> : 32

 - 6.1 page 9: source- specific -> source-specific

 - 6.1 page 9: reason( -> reason ( & a RTCP -> an RTCP & NACK)and -> NACK) and

 - 6.2 page 10: Sources(BRS) -> Sources (BRS)

 - 6.2 page 10: a RTCP -> an RTCP

 - 6.4 page 10: receivers. e.g., -> receivers: e.g.,

 - 6.4 page 10:	a RTCP -> an RTCP

 - 6.5 page 11: a RTCP -> an RTCP (with a line break in the middle :-)

 - 7 page 11: supression -> suppression

 - 9 page 12: Acknowledgement -> Acknowledgment, VAN CAENEGEM -> van Caenegem,
  Johansson S -> Johansson

 - 10.2 page 14: please give the names of I-Ds

 - Appendix A page 14: usually the change log is in the reverse order (?)

 - A.8 page 16: ,Security -> , Security

 - A.14 page 17: refereces -> references

Regards

Francis.Dupont@fdupont.fr