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[Gen-art] IETC LC Review of draft-ietf-lmap-framework-11

Tom Taylor <tom.taylor.stds@gmail.com> Mon, 09 March 2015 13:15 UTC

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Date: Mon, 09 Mar 2015 09:15:29 -0400
From: Tom Taylor <tom.taylor.stds@gmail.com>
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To: Gen Art <gen-art@ietf.org>, "EARDLEY, Phil" <philip.eardley@bt.com>, Al Morton <acmorton@att.com>, marcelo@it.uc3m.es, trevor.burbridge@bt.com, paitken@brocade.com, aakhter@gmail.com, Dan Romascanu <dromasca@avaya.com>, Benoit Claise <bclaise@cisco.com>, The IESG <iesg@ietf.org>
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Subject: [Gen-art] IETC LC Review of draft-ietf-lmap-framework-11
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I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on
Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at

<http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.

Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments
you may receive.

Document:  draft-ietf-lmap-framework-11
Reviewer:  Tom Taylor
Review Date: 2015/03/05
IETF LC End Date: 2015/03/09
IESG Telechat date: 2015/03/12

Summary: Beautifully written and very complete. A few editorial nits 
that could be safely ignored without affecting the utility of the document.

Major issues:

Minor issues:

Nits/editorial comments:

Section 3, "Logging Information": s/and which/which/

Section 5, bullet 1.: not sure a protocol is trying to achieve a 
problem. Achieve a solution to a problem (solve or resolve it) or 
achieve an objective, perhaps.

Section 7, second paragraph: should delete the reference to the charter, 
since that is ephemeral information. I would rephrase as follows:
  s/similar to the protocol/just as is the protocol/

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