Re: [Gen-art] Genart telechat review of draft-ietf-ntp-bcp-10

Alissa Cooper <alissa@cooperw.in> Tue, 18 December 2018 20:24 UTC

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From: Alissa Cooper <alissa@cooperw.in>
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Date: Tue, 18 Dec 2018 15:23:56 -0500
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To: Robert Sparks <rjsparks@nostrum.com>
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Subject: Re: [Gen-art] Genart telechat review of draft-ietf-ntp-bcp-10
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Robert, thanks for your reviews of this document. I’ve flagged some of your specific comments in my ballot. I entered a DISCUSS ballot to ensure that RFC 2119 and RFC 8174 get changed to normative references.

Thanks,
Alissa

> On Dec 13, 2018, at 6:12 PM, Robert Sparks <rjsparks@nostrum.com>; wrote:
> 
> Reviewer: Robert Sparks
> Review result: Ready with Nits
> 
> I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
> Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed
> by the IESG for the IETF Chair. Please wait for direction from your
> document shepherd or AD before posting a new version of the draft.
> 
> For more information, please see the FAQ at
> 
> <https://trac.ietf.org/trac/gen/wiki/GenArtfaq>;.
> 
> Document: draft-ietf-ntp-bcp-10
> Reviewer: Robert Sparks
> Review Date: 2018-12-13
> IETF LC End Date: 2018-10-08
> IESG Telechat date: 2018-12-20
> 
> Summary: Ready (but with nits that should be considered) for publication as a
> BCP RFC
> 
> Nits/editorial comments:
> 
> With a couple of exceptions, the changes between -07 and -10 are very helpful -
> the document reads much more naturally.
> 
> One of the changes was to be more specific with actors - many uses of "you" or
> "your" were replaced with "the operator" for example. But this wasn't done
> throughout the document ("you" and "your" still appear frequently), and in at
> least one place the change caused a sentence to stop making sense: "If the time
> on your network has to be correct close to 100% of the time, then even if you
> are using a satellite-based system, operators need to plan for those rare
> instances when the system is unavailable (or wrong!)."
> 
> I strongly encourage yet another pass focusing on removing "you" and "your" to
> the extent possible.
> 
> The changes also included using 2119 keywords much more often. Unfortunately
> many of the new uses are not appropriate. "Vendors MUST" and several instances
> of "It is RECOMMENDED" are particularly jarring. Moving 2119 to be an
> Informational reference is also incorrect if you are going to use those terms
> in this document.
> 
> 
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