Re: [Gen-art] review of draft-ietf-trill-directory-assist-mechanisms-10.txt

Donald Eastlake <d3e3e3@gmail.com> Thu, 12 January 2017 03:09 UTC

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From: Donald Eastlake <d3e3e3@gmail.com>
Date: Wed, 11 Jan 2017 22:09:20 -0500
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To: Francis Dupont <Francis.Dupont@fdupont.fr>
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Cc: draft-ietf-trill-directory-assist-mechanisms.all@ietf.org, "gen-art@ietf.org Review Team" <gen-art@ietf.org>
Subject: Re: [Gen-art] review of draft-ietf-trill-directory-assist-mechanisms-10.txt
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Hi Francis,

See below.

On Mon, Jan 9, 2017 at 9:05 AM, Francis Dupont
<Francis.Dupont@fdupont.fr> wrote:
> I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
> Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed
> by the IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just
> like any other last call comments.
>
> For more information, please see the FAQ at
>
> <https://trac.ietf.org/trac/gen/wiki/GenArtfaq>.
>
> Document: draft-ietf-trill-directory-assist-mechanisms-10.txt
> Reviewer: Francis Dupont
> Review Date: 20170105
> IETF LC End Date: 2017019
> IESG Telechat date: unknown
>
> Summary: Ready
>
> Major issues: None
>
> Minor issues: None

Thanks. I agree with all the below unless otherwise stated.

> Nits/editorial comments:
>  - 1.1 page 5: nomrally -> normally
>
>  - 1.2 page 6: MscSA -> MacSA
>
>  - 2.3.2 page 11: cancelled -> canceled
>
>  - 3.1 page 19: acknowledgement -> acknowledgment
>
>  - 3.2.1 page 21: AFN is from an unknown space: please add
>   a reference to where AFN is defined or to its registry (or both).

I'll add this to the Terminology section.

>  - 3.2.2.2 page 26 MacDA: in "this MAC address must be unicast"
>   as it is a requirement consider to put a MUST or to change to "has to"
>
>  - 3.3 page 27: in "A Pull Directory server may have a limit" use
>   a MAY?

"MAY" is wrong. I'll change it to "might".

>  - 3.3 page 28: you use the F, P, N, etc bits when their meanings are
>   in 3.3.1 so:
>   * please add a forward reference to 3.3.1
>   * add their names (flood, positive, negative) at first use
>
>  - 3.3.1 page 30: in "Message must have either" must -> MUST/has to
>
>  - 3.3.2 page 31: appropiately -> appropriately
>
>  - 3.5.1 page 33: knowns -> knows
>
>  - 3.5.3 page 34: Chanel -> Channel
>
>  - 3.6 page 35 (twice): [Aa]cknowledgement -> [Aa]cknowledgment
>
>  - 3.6.3 page 37: QTYPE 3 and 4 are unassigned
>
>  - 3.7 page 37: chagnes -> changes
>
>  - 7.1 page 45: only use of "IANA will assign" vs
>   "IANA is requested to assign". BTW look for what is the best and
>   use only  this one.
>
>  - 7.1 page 45: ESDADI -> ESADI and ESDAI -> ESADI
>
>  - 7.1 page 45: in the figure break the line between "for" and "expansion".
>   BTW it doesn't matter if a variable field spreads over more than one
>  line...
>
>  - Authors' Addresses page 52: (perhaps a troff macro issue):
>   please insert a comma before the country name.

OK.

>  - Authors' Addresses page 52: China -> PR China (or any variant
>   including CN (ISO IS 3166 2 letter code))

I don't see any reason to change this postal address which i have
determined by experiment to work fine, at least for mail posted in the
USA.

> Regards
>
> Francis.Dupont@fdupont.fr
>
> PS: I know some of you are from a country (from a list of 2) not using
> international units but millisecond abbrev is ms, not millisec...

I'll just spell it out.

Thanks,
Donald
===============================
 Donald E. Eastlake 3rd   +1-508-333-2270 (cell)
 155 Beaver Street, Milford, MA 01757 USA
 d3e3e3@gmail.com