[Gen-art] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-ippm-rfc8889bis-02

[Russ Housley via Datatracker <[e-mail]>]

Reviewer: Russ Housley
Review result: Ready with Nits

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Document: draft-ietf-ippm-rfc8889bis-02
Reviewer: Russ Housley
Review Date: 2022-06-29
IETF LC End Date: 2022-06-21
IESG Telechat date: 2022-07-14


Summary: Ready with Nits


Major Concerns: None


Minor Concerns:

Section 8 says: "... can be incorporated into A, ..."
I think that "A" is described in Figure 5, but it took me
a few minutes to figure that out.  Please clarify.


Section 9 says:

   Either one or two flag bits might be available for marking in
   different deployments:
   
This is followed by three labeled paragraphs.  Can this sentence
be expanded to cover all three of the paragraphs that follow?


Nits:

Section 5.1: s/split our monitoring/split the monitoring/

Section 5.1: s/In our monitoring network/In the monitoring network/

Section 5.1 says:

   The algorithm described above network is an iterative clustering
   algorithm, but it is also possible to apply a recursive clustering
   algorithm by using the node-node adjacency matrix representation
   [IEEE-ACM-ToN-MPNPM].

I cannot understand is sentence.