Re: [Gen-art] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-mpls-ldp-yang-06

"Kamran Raza (skraza)" <skraza@cisco.com> Fri, 20 March 2020 20:32 UTC

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From: "Kamran Raza (skraza)" <skraza@cisco.com>
To: Theresa Enghardt <theresa@inet.tu-berlin.de>, "gen-art@ietf.org" <gen-art@ietf.org>
CC: "mpls@ietf.org" <mpls@ietf.org>, "draft-ietf-mpls-ldp-yang.all@ietf.org" <draft-ietf-mpls-ldp-yang.all@ietf.org>, "ietf@ietf.org" <ietf@ietf.org>, "draft-ietf-mpls-ldp-yang@ietf.org" <draft-ietf-mpls-ldp-yang@ietf.org>, "BRUNGARD, DEBORAH A" <db3546@att.com>
Thread-Topic: Genart last call review of draft-ietf-mpls-ldp-yang-06
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Date: Fri, 20 Mar 2020 20:32:30 +0000
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Subject: Re: [Gen-art] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-mpls-ldp-yang-06
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Hi Theresa,

We somehow missed this email - Our apologies.
We have updated few rev of drafts since then . The latest one being uploaded later today is rev-09 
Please see inline [skraza20]

On 2019-09-25, 3:51 AM, "Theresa Enghardt via Datatracker" <noreply@ietf.org> wrote:

    Reviewer: Theresa Enghardt
    Review result: Ready with Issues
    
    I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
    Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed
    by the IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just
    like any other last call comments.
    
    For more information, please see the FAQ at
    
    <https://trac.ietf.org/trac/gen/wiki/GenArtfaq>.
    
    Document: draft-ietf-mpls-ldp-yang-06
    Reviewer: Theresa Enghardt
    Review Date: 2019-09-25
    IETF LC End Date: 2019-10-04
    IESG Telechat date: Not scheduled for a telechat
    
    Summary:
    
    This draft is basically ready for publication, but has some minor issues that
    should be fixed before publication.
    
    Major issues: None.
    
    Minor issues:
    
    Section 1.1:
    
    Why is LDP IPv6 grouped in the "extended" category and not in the "base"
    category, which the draft states to be the "minumum requirements for a typical
    base LDP deployment" and "suffice for small deployments"? Are typical, small
    deployments usually IPv4-only, and is this expected to remain true? Please
    consider briefly explaining this design decision.
[skraza20]: This was raised few times and we have clarified in emails and some edits in the doc.
    
    What does "igp sync" refer to? Is this the same as "igp-synchronization-delay"
    in the extended model? Please consider expanding this abbreviation and/or
    providing a reference.
    
[skraza20]: In one of prev rev, added a ref to the RFC.

    Section 3:
    
    Could you provide references for the "widely deployed non-RFC features", which
    are part of the extended model, please?
    
[skraza20]: This text has been reworked in latest rev.

    "GR session is in recovery state" - What does "GR" refer to?
[skraza20]: Graceful Restart. Expanding in rev -09.
    
    Section 10:
    
    In the Security Considerations, it would be great if you could provide some
    examples of writable/creatable/deletable data nodes which may be considered
    sensitive or vulnerable, and what negative effects on network operations one
    could expect if an attacker wrote to them.
[skraza20]: Done in rev -08.
    

    Nits/editorial comments:
    
    The document doesn't use any RFC 2119 keywords, yet has text resembling RFC
    2119 boilerplate text. Please consider removing the RFC 2119 boilerplate text.
    
[skraza]: Already fixed in rev -07.

    The document contains a few typos and grammar issues.
    To improve readability, please check for consistency of upper/lower case terms,
    for the use of definite and indefinite articles, and consider running a
    spellchecker.
[skraza20]: ack. Have fixed some known.
    
    Some examples:
    
    Section 1.1:
    
    "The configuration and state items are divided into following two broad
    categories" --> "The configuration and state items are divided into the
    following two broad categories"
    
    "This is worth higlighting " --> "It is worth highlighting"
    
    Section 3:
    
    "yang" - should this be all caps?
[skraza20]: Already fixed.
    
    "rpc" - should this be all caps?
[skraza20]: fixed.
    
    "grapically" --> "graphically"
[skraza20]: Already fixed.
    
    Section 5.2.1:
    
    "This container falls under global tree" --> "This container falls under the
    global tree"
    
[skraza20]: Fixing.

    "The example of former is interface hello timers, and example of latter is
    enabling hellos for a given AF under an interface." --> "The example of the
    former is interface hello timers, and an example of the latter is enabling
    hellos for a given AF under an interface."
[skraza20]: Fixing.    

    "A peer is uniquely identified using its LSR Id and hence LSR Id is the key for
    peer list" [missing punctuation]
[skraza20]: Already reworked.