Re: [Gen-art] Gen-ART IETF Last Call review for draft-ietf-stox-7248bis-12

[Peter Saint-Andre - Filament <[e-mail]>]

Hi Ralph, thanks for the review. Comments inline.

On 10/21/16 2:52 PM, Ralph Droms wrote:
> I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for draft-ietf-stox-7248bis-12. The
> General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being
> processed by the IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments
> just like any other last call comments.
>
> For more information, please see the FAQ at
>
> <http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.
>
> Document: draft-ietf-stox-7248bis-12
> Reviewer: Ralph Droms
> Review Date: 2016-10-21
> IETF LC End Date:  2016-10-06
> IESG Telechat date: 2016-11-03
>
> Summary: Ready for publication as a Proposed Standard
>
> I apologize for the late submission of this review.
>
> I am not well-versed in either SIP or XMPP, so I could only give the
> technical content of the document a cursory review.  I found no
> issues to report in that review.
>
> I'll make two small editorial suggestions:
>
> 1) There are possibly anachronistic references to "this series" of
> documents.  The members of that "series" will be less obvious with the
> publication of rfc7248bis.  It would likely be helpful to list the
> members of the document series explicitly.

Good point, will fix before publication.

> 2) It might be useful to add a short section on the history of the
> document, to give readers of this document an understanding of the
> motivation for the publication of 7248bis.

That oversight was noted by another reviewer, so the relevant section 
was added in version -13 (you might have reviewed -12):

https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-stox-7248bis-13#appendix-A

Thanks!

Peter