Re: [Gen-art] [core] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-core-yang-cbor-15
Ivaylo Petrov <ivaylo@ackl.io> Mon, 14 June 2021 12:08 UTC
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From: Ivaylo Petrov <ivaylo@ackl.io>
Date: Mon, 14 Jun 2021 14:07:46 +0200
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To: Peter Yee <peter@akayla.com>
Cc: Review Team <gen-art@ietf.org>, draft-ietf-core-yang-cbor.all@ietf.org, Last Call <last-call@ietf.org>, core <core@ietf.org>, ivaylopetrov@google.com
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Subject: Re: [Gen-art] [core] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-core-yang-cbor-15
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Hello Peter, Thank you for your review and apologies for the delay! Please find our answers to your questions below (TL;DR: all suggestions sound good). The diff with -15 is available here [1]. The updated version is available as txt [2] and as html [3]. Thanks, Ivaylo [1]: https://tools.ietf.org/rfcdiff?url1=draft-ietf-core-yang-cbor&url2=http://core-wg.github.io/yang-cbor/draft-ietf-core-yang-cbor-latest.txt [2]: https://core-wg.github.io/yang-cbor/draft-ietf-core-yang-cbor-latest.txt [3]: https://core-wg.github.io/yang-cbor/draft-ietf-core-yang-cbor-latest.html On Sun, Mar 21, 2021 at 2:15 AM Peter Yee via Datatracker <noreply@ietf.org> wrote: > > Reviewer: Peter Yee > Review result: Ready with Nits > > I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area > Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed > by the IESG for the IETF Chair. Please treat these comments just > like any other last call comments. > > For more information, please see the FAQ at > > <https://trac.ietf.org/trac/gen/wiki/GenArtfaq>. > > Document: draft-ietf-core-yang-cbor-15 > Reviewer: Peter Yee > Review Date: 2021-03-20 > IETF LC End Date: 2021-03-17 > IESG Telechat date: Not scheduled for a telechat > > Summary: This seems like a straightforward encoding specification draft. While > I did not check to see that the example encodings were correct, they appeared > logical to the eye. Really, the only thing I have to offer is a small set of > nits that mildly improve the readability of the document. [Ready with nits] > > Major issues: None > > Minor issues: None > > Nits/editorial comments: > > General: > > Ensure that “i.e.” is followed by a comma. [IP]: Done. > Specific: > > Page 4, “child” term: insert “or” before “an action output”. [IP]: Done. > Page 4, “item” term: append a comma after submodule. [IP]: Done. > Page 5, section 3, 2nd paragraph, 1st sentence: append a comma after “input”. > Change the first “and” to “or” (before “action output”). [IP]: Done. > Page 5, section 3, 3rd paragraph, 2nd sentence: consider inserting “a” before > “SID”. Append a comma after “nodes”. Change the “and” to “or”. [IP]: Done. > Page 5, section 3, 5th paragraph, 1st sentence: change “and” to “or”. [IP]: Done. > Page 5, section 3, 6th paragraph, 1st sentence: change the first “node” to > “nodes”. Append a comma after “name”. [IP]: Done. > Page 8, section 3.2, 6th bullet item: append a comma after “submodules”. [IP]: Done. > Page 8, section 3.3, 1st paragraph, 1st sentence: change “string” to “strings”. > Change “as” after “similar” to “to”. [IP]: Done. > Page 8, section 3.3, 1st paragraph, 2nd sentence: change “to SIDs” to “with > SID”. [IP]: Done. > Page 11, section 4.2, 1st paragraph, 1st sentence: consider aligning the > capitalization and pluralization of terms in this sentence with the usage in > the Abstract. Append a comma after “inputs” (or “input” if you change this > sentence to match the Abstract). [IP]: Done. > Page 22, 1st paragraph following the bullet items, 2nd sentence: change comma > after to either a period or a semicolon. [IP]: Done. > Page 26, section 5.1, 1st paragraph, 2nd sentence: change the comma to a > semicolon. Insert “to” before “the CBOR”. [IP]: Done. > Page 27, section 5.2, 1st paragraph, 2nd sentence: change the comma to a > semicolon. Insert “to” before “the CBOR”. [IP]: Done. > Page 29, 1st paragraph: change “a” before “’mtu’” to “an”. [IP]: Done. > Page 35, section 6.10: delete the comma after “identityref”. Insert “as” before > both “a YANG Schema” and “a name”. [IP]: Done. > Page 35, section 6.10.1, 2nd sentence: consider changing “as” to “used for”. [IP]: Done. > Page 36, section 6.11, 2nd paragraph: change “a” to “an” before “’is-router’”. [IP]: Done. > Page 37, section 6.12, 2nd paragraph following the bullet items: insert “a” > before “CBOR”. [IP]: Done. > Page 39, 3rd paragraph: would it make more sense to change “Schema nodes > member” to “Schema node members”? [IP]: Yes, done. > Page 39, 2nd bullet item, 2nd sentence: insert “the” before “top”. Change > “follow” to “followed”. [IP]: Done. > Page 41, section 6.13.2, 1st paragraph, 1st sentence: I believe “analogous” > makes more sense than “analogical” in this sentence: [IP]: Done. > Page 43, section 8, 2nd paragraph, 2nd sentence: change “of” to “to”. [IP]: Done. > > > _______________________________________________ > core mailing list > core@ietf.org > https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/core
- [Gen-art] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-c… Peter Yee via Datatracker
- Re: [Gen-art] [core] Genart last call review of d… Ivaylo Petrov