[Gen-art] Gen-art LC review of draft-ietf-teas-rsvp-te-srlg-collect-02

[Elwyn Davies <[e-mail]>]

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Document: draft-ietf-teas-rsvp-te-srlg-collect-02.txt
Reviewer: Elwyn Davies
Review Date: 2015/09/13
IETF LC End Date: 2015/09/24
IESG Telechat date: (if known) -

Summary:
Not ready for publication.  The main problem appears to be that the use 
of SRLG ID RRO sub-objects in Resv messages seems to be an 
afterthought.  It needs to be covered in the introduction.  It is also 
not clear how nodes are informed that SRLG information needs to be added 
to Resv messages.  I am also concerned that the ordering constraints 
imposed on RRO sub-objects by various different standards (at least this 
one and RFC 7571 - there may be others that I am not aware of) may 
become overly complex and potentially mutually incompatible.  When I 
reviewed the draft that subsequently became RFC 7571 earlier this year 
there were already internal issues with sub-object ordering that had to 
be sorted out - checking that ordering constraints do not result in a 
deadly embrace could get quite complicated if more specifications add to 
the RRO stack.

Major issues:
What is an SRLG ID?  OK, it is a 4 octet (opaque) data item. However, 
the specification says nothing about how it might be used to convey the 
SRLG information.  I *guess* that this may be because this is just a 
handy facility that can be used in whatever way an implementation 
chooses - but if so it would good to say this.  Maybe an example of how 
the authors envisage it might be used, maybe in the context of the use 
case in s1.1 would be helpful.

s4.1:
>     The SRLG Collection flag is meaningful on a Path message.  If the
>     SRLG Collection flag is set to 1, it means that the SRLG information
>     SHOULD be reported to the ingress and egress node along the setup of
>     the LSP.
I am unclear how the Path message is going to impart SRLG information to 
both ends of the LSP as my understanding of RSVP is that the Path 
message travels only in one direction along the path of the LSP.  ...

Ah, when I read down towards the end of s5.1, it appears that the SRLG 
info may be in Resv messages as well, and might be collected during the 
processing of the Resv message along the (reverse) path. According to 
RFC 3209, the presence of an RRO in the Path message will trigger the 
addition of an RRO to the Resv message, but this does not tell the nodes 
that SRLG information ought to be added. Presumably the SRLG Collection 
flag should be set somewhere in a suitable place in the Resv message 
also.  But where?  The text above says the flag is only meaningful on 
Path messages!!  Maybe the RRO Attributes sub-object might be relevant 
[RFC5420].

The draft needs to talk about both directions and uni-/bidirectional 
LSPs from an earlier point in the document.

Minor Issues:

s5: RRO Sub-object ordering constraints.  In s4.2, a number of ordering 
constraints are specified indicating where the SRLG info objects should 
be placed in the stack of RRO sub-objects.  Section 5 does not discuss 
what should happen if the receiving node detects that the sub-objects 
don't match the specified ordering constraints.  A more general issue is 
whether there are interactions with ordering constraints from other 
specifications that use RRO sub-objects - for example, RFC 7571 has some 
quite complex ordering constraints.  There is also the following text in 
s5.1:
>     o  For Path and Resv messages for a bidirectional LSP, a node SHOULD
>        include SRLG sub-objects in the RRO for both the upstream data
>        link and the downstream data link from the local node.  In this
>        case, the node MUST include the information in the same order for
>        both Path messages and Resv messages.  That is, the SRLG sub-
>        object for the upstream link is added to the RRO before the SRLG
>        sub-object for the downstream link.
It strikes me that using one of the reserved bits in the SRLG sub-object 
to explicitly identify whether a sub-object applies to the upstream or 
downstream direction would make things less error prone and reduce the 
ordering constraint which might get quite complicated as time goes on if 
new RRO sub-objects continue to be added.



Nits/editorial comments:
General: Just checking: does this specification apply to basic MPLS or 
only to the extended Generalized MPLS?  It would be good to be clear 
about the scope up front.

General: Bringing out the IANA temporary allocations at every point 
where they apply in Sections 4.1, 4.2, 5.1  and 8 is undesirable as it 
will have to be edited out by the RFC Editor increasing the scope for 
error.  OK this is not a big risk but it would simplify things if the 
body text had the expected final form and the temporary allocation text 
notes were confined to a special section that was marked for removal by 
the RFC Editor.

General: s/byte/octet/g

Abstract: Probably ought to mention (G)MPLS explicitly and expand TE.

s1, para 1:  It would be good to expand TE explicitly (as Generalized 
MPLS Traffic Engineering) again.

s3: Using RFC 2119 language here is inappropriate - they are 
design/usage issues not testable protocol features.

s4.1, para 1: s/indicate nodes/indicate to nodes/

s4.1 and s4.2, last para in each case: s/The rules of the/The rules for 
the/ (2 places)

s5.1, paras 2 and 3: s/and the SRLG Collection Flag set/with the SRLG 
Collection Flag set/ (2 places)

s5.1, last para: Need to expand FA acronym.

s6.1: It would be useful to repeat the policy configurations mentioned 
in s5 in this section.

s6.2, para 1: s/SRLG ids/SRLG IDs/  [please check that there aren't any 
other cases].