Subject: [Gen-art] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-raw-technologies-10
From: Mallory Knodel via Datatracker <[email-masked]>
To: <[email-masked]>
Cc: [email-masked], [email-masked], [email-masked]
Date: Mon, 07 Oct 2024 07:24:58 -0700
List-Id: "GEN-ART: General Area Review Team" <gen-art.ietf.org>

Reviewer: Mallory Knodel
Review result: Ready with Issues

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed
by the IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just
like any other last call comments.

For more information, please see the FAQ at

<https://wiki.ietf.org/en/group/gen/GenArtFAQ>.

Document: draft-ietf-raw-technologies-??
Reviewer: Mallory Knodel
Review Date: 2024-10-07
IETF LC End Date: 2024-09-18
IESG Telechat date: Not scheduled for a telechat

Summary: This document is a very useful informational text about the
requirements of reliability and availability for various uses in networks
connected with wireless technologies.

Major issues: The introduction could make it clearer to the reader how the
technologies were chosen, if it is a complete set at the time of writing, and
other revisions that indicate more clearly the purpose. I also find the final
paragraph of the introduction more helpful about the document's contents than
the current abstract:
   This document browses the short and middle range radio technologies
   that are suitable to provide a DetNet/RAW service over, presents the
   characteristics that RAW may leverage, and explores the applicability
   of the technologies to carry deterministic flows. The studied
   technologies are Wi-Fi 6/7, TimeSlotted Channel Hopping (TSCH), 3GPP
   5G, and L-band Digital Aeronautical Communications System (LDACS).

Minor issues:

Other reviewers have also noted the slightly awkward "summary" subsection at
the end of each section and my suggested approach might be to include this as
the *first* paragraph for each section, before the subsections begin, eg:

4.  IEEE 802.11

[Summary paragraph without subsection heading]

4.1.  Provenance and Documents

...

Nits/editorial comments: (none).