Re: [Gen-art] Generate review of draft-ietf-tsvwg-gre-in-udp-encap-16

Lucy yong <lucy.yong@huawei.com> Fri, 12 August 2016 21:10 UTC

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From: Lucy yong <lucy.yong@huawei.com>
To: Jouni <jouni.nospam@gmail.com>, "gen-art@ietf.org (gen-art@ietf.org)" <gen-art@ietf.org>, "draft-ietf-tsvwg-gre-in-udp-encap.all@ietf.org" <draft-ietf-tsvwg-gre-in-udp-encap.all@ietf.org>
Thread-Topic: [Gen-art] Generate review of draft-ietf-tsvwg-gre-in-udp-encap-16
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Subject: Re: [Gen-art] Generate review of draft-ietf-tsvwg-gre-in-udp-encap-16
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Hi Jouni,

OOPS, forget this one, sorry.

o My “complaint” of this document is basically on the following.. these are writing
   style things so feel free to neglect:
   - It repeats.. the same statements multiple times.
Lucy: perhaps some can reference previous section. 
   - When reading the document I get the feeling it is actually two documents. The
     technical specification (which is very short) and the general deployment
     considerations document. I would have split it to two but that is just me.
Lucy: When we were developing this document, we kindly became clear ourselves, we need to address two parts and want to do in one document.

Regards,
Lucy



-----Original Message-----
From: Gen-art [mailto:gen-art-bounces@ietf.org] On Behalf Of Jouni
Sent: Friday, August 12, 2016 1:51 AM
To: gen-art@ietf.org (gen-art@ietf.org); draft-ietf-tsvwg-gre-in-udp-encap.all@ietf.org
Subject: [Gen-art] Generate review of draft-ietf-tsvwg-gre-in-udp-encap-16

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed by the IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just like any other last call comments.

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Document: draft-ietf-tsvwg-gre-in-udp-encap-16
Reviewer: Jouni Korhonen
Review Date: 8/11/2016
IETF LC End Date: 2016-08-12
IESG Telechat date: (if known)

Summary:  Ready with minor nits.

Major issues: None.

Minor issues: Read on..

Editorials/nits:
 o My “complaint” of this document is basically on the following.. these are writing
   style things so feel free to neglect:
   - It repeats.. the same statements multiple times.
   - When reading the document I get the feeling it is actually two documents. The
     technical specification (which is very short) and the general deployment
     considerations document. I would have split it to two but that is just me.

The other nits.

 o There are bunch of acronyms that are not expanded either never or on their first use. 
   Some examples include UDP, DSCP, DS, PMTU, MPLS, VNP, .. Pay attention to these.
 o In the Introduction give a reference to EtherType e.g., the repository where they
   are maintained or by whom they are maintained.
 o On line 129 is says: 
	   This document specifies GRE-in-UDP tunnel requirements for two
   Based on the earlier text I would suggest saying “..document also specifies..”
 o On line 143 I would also (following the previous style in the paragraph) capitalize
   “wide area networks” as well.
 o In multiple places (lines 236, 887) the reference is after the full stop. Place full
   stop after the reference.
 o The document uses both tunnel ingress/egress and encapsulator/decapsulator. Is there a
   specific reason to have this differentiation? If not use common terminology throughout
   the document.
 o On line 654 is says:
 	        MUST comply with requirement 1 and 8-10 in Section 5 of
   How is this “MUST” enforced?
 o In Section 7.1 I find it a bit odd discussing NATs in the specific context of IPv6. If
   you have a specific IPv6 NAT scenario in mind either spell it out or give a reference
   to a specification that describes the technology/use case.
 o In Section 8 and lines 784-785 has a “MUST NOT” for traffic that is not known to be
   congestion-controlled.. I would be interested in knowing how to enforce this “MUST”
   specifically in the Internet case.
 o Line 909 typo “ether” -> “either”.

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