Re: [Gen-art] Gen-ART Last Call review draft-ietf-tcpm-fastopen-09

[Meral Shirazipour <[e-mail]>]

Hi,
  Thanks Yuchung, I agree with your suggestions.

Best Regards,
Meral

From: Yuchung Cheng [mailto:[e-mail]]
Sent: Tuesday, July 29, 2014 10:22 AM
To: Meral Shirazipour
Cc: [e-mail]; [e-mail]
Subject: Re: Gen-ART Last Call review draft-ietf-tcpm-fastopen-09




On Wed, Jul 23, 2014 at 9:06 AM, Meral Shirazipour <[e-mail]<mailto:[e-mail]>> wrote:
>
> I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq.
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>
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> Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments you may receive.
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>
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> Document: draft-ietf-tcpm-fastopen-09
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> Reviewer: Meral Shirazipour
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> Review Date: 2014-07-23
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> IETF LC End Date:   2014-07-23
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> IESG Telechat date: NA
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> Summary:
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> This draft is ready to be published as Experimental RFC, but I have some comments.
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>
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> Nits/editorial comments:
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> -Abstract says "thus saving up to one full round trip time (RTT)": by just reading the abstract one would think 1.5 RTT since initial 3WHS is avoided.
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> Reading the rest of the draft clarifies this though. Suggestion :
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>
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> "
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> TFO allows data to be carried in the SYN and SYN-ACK packets
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>    and consumed by the receiving end during 'an' initial connection
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>    handshake, 'and' saves up to one full round trip time (RTT) compared
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>    to the standard TCP, ......
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> "

Sounds good except it's "the" initial connection.

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> -[page 4] "MSL", to spell out at first use "maximum segment lifetime" (or please consider mentioning reference to key TCP RFCs in Terminology section).
ok
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> -General: Also few other acronyms used without spelling out at first use, please consider those as well.
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> -[Page 7], 'Fast Open Cookie Option', it would be more familiar to IETF community to call "Kind" field "Type", unless there was a reason for this differentiation.

OK

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> -[Page 10] please remove extra space (page break) if not needed.
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> -[Page 12], typo "connection-sharding"--->"connection-sharing"
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> -[page 14] "as a application"--->"as an application"
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> -[Page 17], typo "Neverthless"--->"Nevertheless"
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> -[Page 18], typo "meet the the"---->"meet the"
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> -[Page 21], typo "in Section Section 4.1.1"---->"in Section 4.1.1"
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> -[Page 21] please remove extra space (page break) if not needed.
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OK except it is the connection-sharding, not connection sharing. The two are opposite. To avoid confusion, I would rephrase to "If experiments with TFO find that it encourages applications to use more parallel connections, cookie-in-FIN may  prove to be a useful alternative"?

I'd upload a new version soon. Thanks for the review.

>
> Best Regards,
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> Meral
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>
>
>
>
> ---
>
> Meral Shirazipour
>
> Ericsson
>
> Research
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> www.ericsson.com<http://www.ericsson.com>