[Gen-art] Gen-ART review of draft-polk-local-emergency-rph-namespace-02
"Black, David" <david.black@emc.com> Thu, 09 August 2012 23:17 UTC
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From: "Black, David" <david.black@emc.com>
To: "James M. Polk" <jmpolk@cisco.com>, "gen-art@ietf.org" <gen-art@ietf.org>, "ietf@ietf.org" <ietf@ietf.org>
Date: Thu, 09 Aug 2012 19:16:53 -0400
Thread-Topic: Gen-ART review of draft-polk-local-emergency-rph-namespace-02
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Subject: [Gen-art] Gen-ART review of draft-polk-local-emergency-rph-namespace-02
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The nits in the Gen-ART review of the -01 version of this draft have not been addressed in the -02 version. idnits found one existing nit and one new one: == It seems as if not all pages are separated by form feeds - found 0 form feeds but 8 pages == Line 156 has weird spacing: '...n, this is a ...' Thanks, --David > -----Original Message----- > From: Black, David > Sent: Tuesday, July 12, 2011 8:45 PM > To: James M. Polk; gen-art@ietf.org; ietf@ietf.org > Cc: Black, David; Robert Sparks > Subject: Gen-ART review of draft-polk-local-emergency-rph-namespace-01 > > I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on Gen-ART, > please see the FAQ at > <http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>. > > Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments you may > receive. > > Document: draft-polk-local-emergency-rph-namespace-01 > Reviewer: David L. Black > Review Date: July 12, 2011 > IETF LC End Date: July 13, 2011 > > Summary: > This draft is basically ready for publication, but has nits that should be > fixed before publication. > > This draft defines a SIP Resource Priority header namespace, "esnet", for use > in > providing preferential treatment to emergency calls (e.g., from on-scene > responders). > > This field is an addition to rather than a replacement for existing notions of > priority in the SIP Resource Priority header. Section 2 explains why this was > done, but section 2 is a bit sloppy and imprecise. Some level of imprecision > is > necessary as this draft deliberately does not specify how this header > namespace > is used to provide preferential treatment. Nonetheless, the following two > items > could be improved in Section 2's discussion: > > 1) Explain the reason for including the second paragraph, the paragraph > that references RFC 4412's discouragement of modification of priorities > within an administrative domain. That paragraph's not connected to the > rest of section 2. > 2) Explicitly state that one of the anticipated uses of the priorities in the > esnet namespace is to override the ordinary priorities found elsewhere > in > the Resource Priority header. > > Small nit: There's an extraneous "to" in the first line of section 3: > > The "esnet" namespace should not to be considered generic for all > ^^ > > idnits 2.12.12 found a few formatting problems: > > == You're using the IETF Trust Provisions' Section 6.b License Notice from > 12 Sep 2009 rather than the newer Notice from 28 Dec 2009. (See > http://trustee.ietf.org/license-info/) > > == It seems as if not all pages are separated by form feeds - found 0 form > feeds but 7 pages > > == The copyright year in the IETF Trust and authors Copyright Line does not > match the current year > > > Thanks, > --David > ---------------------------------------------------- > David L. Black, Distinguished Engineer > EMC Corporation, 176 South St., Hopkinton, MA 01748 > +1 (508) 293-7953 FAX: +1 (508) 293-7786 > david.black@emc.com Mobile: +1 (978) 394-7754 > ----------------------------------------------------
- [Gen-art] Gen-ART review of draft-polk-local-emer… david.black
- [Gen-art] Gen-ART review of draft-polk-local-emer… Black, David