Re: [Gen-art] Gen-ART Last Call review of draft-ietf-ice-dualstack-fairness-03

Meral Shirazipour <meral.shirazipour@ericsson.com> Thu, 04 August 2016 15:02 UTC

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From: Meral Shirazipour <meral.shirazipour@ericsson.com>
To: "Pal Martinsen (palmarti)" <palmarti@cisco.com>
Thread-Topic: Gen-ART Last Call review of draft-ietf-ice-dualstack-fairness-03
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Subject: Re: [Gen-art] Gen-ART Last Call review of draft-ietf-ice-dualstack-fairness-03
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Hi,
  Many thanks.

Best,
Meral

From: Pal Martinsen (palmarti) [mailto:palmarti@cisco.com]
Sent: Wednesday, August 03, 2016 11:55 PM
To: Meral Shirazipour <meral.shirazipour@ericsson.com>
Cc: draft-ietf-ice-dualstack-fairness.all@tools.ietf.org; gen-art@ietf.org
Subject: Re: Gen-ART Last Call review of draft-ietf-ice-dualstack-fairness-03


On 05 Jul 2016, at 17:46, Meral Shirazipour <meral.shirazipour@ericsson.com<mailto:meral.shirazipour@ericsson.com>> wrote:

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed by the IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just like any other last call comments.

For more information, please see the FAQ at <http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.


Document:  draft-ietf-ice-dualstack-fairness-03
Reviewer: Meral Shirazipour
Review Date: 2016-07-05
IETF LC End Date:  2016-07-08
IESG Telechat date: NA


Summary:
This draft is ready to be published as BCP RFC but I have some comments.

Major issues:

Minor issues:

Nits/editorial comments:
-[Page 2], “arguable be better"---->"arguably be better"
Fixed

-[Page 2], “types know"---->"types known"
Fixed

-[Page 8], Section 7.1 and 7.2 have the same title, is that by choice?
Sort of. Theee sections are implementation details and will be removed in the published RFC.


-[Page 9], Section 10.1, first reference ([I-D.ietf-ice-rfc5245bis])to be updated to latest version.
-Also on [Page 4] Reference to “section 4.1.2.1" of [I-D.ietf-ice-rfc5245bis], it would be good to list the section title too (in case the numbering changes in the final version).
Good point. Fixed.


New version uploaded. It also contains fixes from the secdir review.

.-.
Pål-Erik



Best Regards,
Meral
---
Meral Shirazipour
Ericsson Research
www.ericsson.com<http://www.ericsson.com/>