[Gen-art] Genart last call review of draft-campbell-sip-messaging-smime-03

[Peter Yee <[e-mail]>]

Reviewer: Peter Yee
Review result: Ready with Nits

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Document: draft-campbell-sip-messaging-smime-03
Reviewer: Peter Yee
Review Date: 2018-10-08
IETF LC End Date: 2018-10-10
IESG Telechat date: 2018-10-25

Summary:  This draft updates and clarifies the use of S/MIME with SIP and MSRP
to provide end-to-end message protection.  A few nits should be corrected and
there are a couple of requests listed as minor issues, but those can be safely
ignored.  [Ready with nits]

Major issues: None

Minor issues:

Section 10/Appendix A:  It would be good to supply the private keys used for
signing and encryption in the example messages so that implementers can test
the correctness of their implementations against the RFC.  As it stands, the
examples mostly serve to show format.

Page 22, 2nd full paragraph, 2nd sentence: mention is made of information that
would have otherwise been encrypted.  It's not clear how use of S/MIME is
inducing that information to be sent in the clear rather than encrypted. 
Perhaps a brief explanation would help rather than relying on "certain cases".

Nits/editorial comments:

Page 1, header: remove "RFC" in three places in the "Updates" header.  (Run
idnits nad read through the output.  There's more.)

Page 3, Section 1, 5th paragraph, last sentence: append a comma after "RFC
3428".

Page 4, Section 3, 1st paragraph, 1st sentence: change "SIP based" to
"SIP-based".

Page 4, Section 3, 4th paragraph, delete an extraneous space before "already".

Page 5, 1st paragraph, 1st sentence: change "send" to "sent".

Page 5, 2nd paragraph: append "to" after "intended".

Page 7, 2nd paragraph after "id-aes128-CBC", 1st sentence: append algorithm
after "AES-128-WRAP" *or* change "AES-128-WRAP" to "AES-128 wrap" as given in
RFC 3565.

Page 7, 3rd paragraph after id-aes128-wrap, 2nd sentence: append "algorithm"
after (ECDH).  Do something similar for the next two sentences.

Page 7, Secion 4.3, 1st sentence: expand UAC here on first use.

Page 8, section 4.4.1, 1st paragraph: insert "as" before "a SIP URI".

Page 9, 6th paragraph: change "received" to "receive".

Page 9, 8th paragraph: change "out of band" to "out-of-band".

Page 10, Section 7.3, 1st paragraph, last sentence: insert a double quote
before "Unsupported".

Page 12, Section 8.3, 3rd paragraph, 2nd to last sentence: change "s/mime" to
"S/MIME".

Page 13, Section 8.4, 2nd paragraph, 2nd sentence: change "answer" to
"answerer".

Page 13, Section 8.4, 2nd paragraph, 3rd sentence: delete duplicated "the".

Page 13, Section 8.5, 1st paragraph, 2nd sentence: delete duplicated "since".

Page 14, 1st full paragraph, last sentence: change "Intant" to "Instant".

Page 14, Section 9.2, 1st sentence: append a space after "mechanism".

Page 15, Section 10, 1st paragraph, 3rd sentence: join "over" and "running"
into a single word.

Page 15, Section 10, 2nd paragraph: if you wish to be historically correct,
insert "Mr." before "Watson".  That would, however, cause a painful exercise in
regenerating the examples, so feel free to ignore this suggestion.

Page 15, section 10.1, 1st paragraph, 2nd sentence: change "a" to "an" unless
"smime" is not pronounced "ess-mime".

Page 22, 1st partial paragraph, last sentence: change "vulnerabile" to
"vulnerable".