Re: [Gen-art] Last Call Review of draft-ietf-tls-sslv3-diediedie-02
Stephen Farrell <stephen.farrell@cs.tcd.ie> Thu, 09 April 2015 11:37 UTC
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Date: Thu, 09 Apr 2015 12:37:40 +0100
From: Stephen Farrell <stephen.farrell@cs.tcd.ie>
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To: Jari Arkko <jari.arkko@piuha.net>, Tom Taylor <tom.taylor.stds@gmail.com>
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Cc: Richard Barnes <rlb@ipv.sx>, Gen Art <gen-art@ietf.org>, Adam Langley <agl@google.com>, "Joseph A. Salowey" <joe@salowey.net>, Alfredo Pironti <alfredo@pironti.eu>
Subject: Re: [Gen-art] Last Call Review of draft-ietf-tls-sslv3-diediedie-02
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Thanks, we'll pick up editorials as we go, yes. S On 09/04/15 12:36, Jari Arkko wrote: > Thanks for your review, Tom. Have you authors seen these comments? > > I have balloted NoObj, but wanted to check that the editorial comments were not missed. > > Jari > > On 30 Mar 2015, at 02:21, Tom Taylor <tom.taylor.stds@gmail.com> wrote: > >> >> I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on >> Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at >> >> <http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>. >> >> Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments >> you may receive. >> >> Document: draft-ietf-tls-sslv3-diediedie-02 >> Reviewer: Tom Taylor >> Review Date: 29 Mar 2015 >> IETF LC End Date: 30 Mar 20154 >> IESG Telechat date: (if known) >> >> Summary: This document is good to go subject to the resolution of nits. Note normative downrefs to Informational RFC 4492 and Historic RFC 6101. >> >> Major issues: >> >> Minor issues: >> >> Nits/editorial comments: >> >> 1. IDNits has a number of complaints that should be resolved: >> -- the UPDATES mentions RFC 5246 but it is not identified in the Abstract. Rather, "the TLS RFCs" are cited. Could I suggest adding "and explicitly RFC 5246" after that phrase. I can see where adding the others would get into a bit of a mess because they are obsoleted. >> -- a second IDNits complaint relates to missing RFC 2119 boilerplate. >> -- finally, there are several complaints about references, at least one of which is readily fixable. >> -- the other complaints relate to references. >> >> 2. Editorial style: Introduction first sentence: I'd suggest moving the phrase "since it was released in 1996" to the beginning of the sentence, followed by a comma. >> >> 3. Incomplete thought: Introduction final sentence: >> >> OLD >> SSLv3 now follows. >> >> NEW >> This view is now extended to include SSLv3. >> >> _______________________________________________ >> Gen-art mailing list >> Gen-art@ietf.org >> https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art >
- [Gen-art] Last Call Review of draft-ietf-tls-sslv… Tom Taylor
- Re: [Gen-art] Last Call Review of draft-ietf-tls-… Stephen Farrell
- Re: [Gen-art] Last Call Review of draft-ietf-tls-… Jari Arkko