Re: [Gen-art] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-lamps-nf-eku-02

[tirumal reddy <[e-mail]>]

Hi Elwyn,

Thanks for the review. We will address these comments in the next revision.

Best Regards,
-Tiru

On Mon, 11 Sept 2023 at 04:17, Elwyn Davies via Datatracker <
[e-mail]> wrote:

> Reviewer: Elwyn Davies
> Review result: Ready with Nits
>
> I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
> Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed
> by the IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just
> like any other last call comments.
>
> For more information, please see the FAQ at
>
> <https://wiki.ietf.org/en/group/gen/GenArtFAQ>.
>
> Document: draft-ietf-lamps-nf-eku-02
> Reviewer: Elwyn Davies
> Review Date: 2023-09-10
> IETF LC End Date: 2023-09-08
> IESG Telechat date: 2023-09-21
>
> Summary:  Ready with a number of nits.
>
> Major issues:
> None
>
> Minor issues:
> None
>
> Nits/editorial comments:
> Abstract and s1:  It would be useful to provide a reference to 3GPP
> document TS
> 23.501 with a pointer to Section 6 which defines what the Network
> Functions are
> both at the end of the Abstract and in the first para of s1.
>
> s1, 1st bullet: Should '5GC Service Based Architecture' be '5G Core Service
> Based Architecture'?
>
> s1, 2nd bullet: I suggest s/is JSON Web Tokens and is/uses JSON Web Tokens
> which are/
>
> s1. para 6 after bullets:  This starts
> > [RFC5280] specifies several extended key purpose identifiers (EKU),
> >    defined via KeyPurposeIds, for X.509 certificates.
> Using the abbreviation EKU at this point is premature (it is defined in
> para 8)
> and IMO confusing.  I suggest:
>
> > [RFC5280] specifies several key usage extensions,
> >    defined via KeyPurposeIds, for X.509 certificates. Key usage
> extensions
> added to a certificate are > meant to express intent as to the purpose of
> the
> named usage, for humans and for complying libraries. s1, para 7: s/a NF who
> generates/a NF which generates/ [It's a function not a person.]
>
> s1, para 8: s/However, there is currently no KeyPurposeIds/However, there
> are
> currently no KeyPurposeIds/
>
> s3, para 2: s/EKU extention/EKU extension/, s/require the keyUsage
> extension/require the KeyUsage extension/
>
> s4, para after bullet 3 and s5: The abbreviation KU on its own has not been
> defined and is not used elsewhere: s/KU/KeyUsage/ (two places)
>
> s7: s/ The inclusion of EKU/The inclusion of the EKU/
>
> s8, para 1: s/This OID/These OIDs/
>
> s8:  You could add references linking to the two registries referred to in
> this
> section.
>
>
>
>