Subject: Re: [Gen-art] Review: draft-ietf-pim-join-attributes-for-lisp-05
From: Dino Farinacci <[email-masked]>
To: Lucy Yong <[email-masked]>
Cc: "[email-masked]" <[email-masked]>, General Area Review Team <[email-masked]>, Stig Venaas <[email-masked]>
Date: Thu, 1 Dec 2016 11:53:00 -0800
List-Id: "GEN-ART: General Area Review Team" <gen-art.ietf.org>

> OK, forget my suggestion. I have a difficulty to parse this sentence (second part)
> 
>  It determines the downstream destination for unicast head-end replication and identifies the
>  receiver ETR that needs to be notified should the root of the
>  distribution tree move to another site.
> 
> Lucy

First off, let’s include the entire paragraph:

   Knowledge of the receiver ETR's RLOC address is also essential to the
   control plane of the root ITR.  It determines the downstream
   destination for unicast head-end replication and identifies the
   receiver ETR that needs to be notified should the root of the
   distribution tree move to another site.

How about we change to this:

   Knowledge of the receiver ETR's RLOC address is also essential to the
   control plane of the root ITR.  The RLOC address determines the downstream
   destination for unicast head-end replication and identifies the
   receiver ETR that needs to be notified should the root ITR of the
   distribution tree move to another site. The root ITR can change when the
   source EID is roaming to another LISP site.

Dino

> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Dino Farinacci [mailto:[email-masked]] 
> Sent: Thursday, December 01, 2016 1:45 PM
> To: Lucy yong
> Cc: Jari Arkko; [email-masked]; General Area Review Team; Stig Venaas
> Subject: Re: [Gen-art] Review: draft-ietf-pim-join-attributes-for-lisp-05
> 
> 
>> Could you make this sentence more readable?
>> 
>>  It determines the downstream destination for unicast head-end replication and identifies the
>>  receiver ETR that needs to be notified should the root of the
>>  distribution tree move to another site.
>> 
>> "should be", "moving”?
> 
> I do not understand what you are suggesting. Write more words please.
> 
> Dino
> 
>