IETF Logo Mail Archive

Re: [Gen-art] Gen-ART review of draft-ietf-ccamp-rwa-info-22.txt

"Adrian Farrel" <adrian@olddog.co.uk> Sun, 09 November 2014 22:54 UTC

Return-Path: <adrian@olddog.co.uk>
X-Original-To: gen-art@ietfa.amsl.com
Delivered-To: gen-art@ietfa.amsl.com
Received: from localhost (ietfa.amsl.com [127.0.0.1]) by ietfa.amsl.com (Postfix) with ESMTP id 50FA31A8757; Sun, 9 Nov 2014 14:54:05 -0800 (PST)
X-Virus-Scanned: amavisd-new at amsl.com
X-Spam-Flag: NO
X-Spam-Score: -101.3
X-Spam-Level:
X-Spam-Status: No, score=-101.3 tagged_above=-999 required=5 tests=[BAYES_00=-1.9, J_CHICKENPOX_21=0.6, RCVD_IN_DNSWL_NONE=-0.0001, USER_IN_WHITELIST=-100] autolearn=no
Received: from mail.ietf.org ([4.31.198.44]) by localhost (ietfa.amsl.com [127.0.0.1]) (amavisd-new, port 10024) with ESMTP id CpDjXBwmAOG5; Sun, 9 Nov 2014 14:54:03 -0800 (PST)
Received: from asmtp1.iomartmail.com (asmtp1.iomartmail.com [62.128.201.248]) (using TLSv1 with cipher DHE-RSA-AES256-SHA (256/256 bits)) (No client certificate requested) by ietfa.amsl.com (Postfix) with ESMTPS id 8A7FE1A8756; Sun, 9 Nov 2014 14:54:03 -0800 (PST)
Received: from asmtp1.iomartmail.com (localhost.localdomain [127.0.0.1]) by asmtp1.iomartmail.com (8.13.8/8.13.8) with ESMTP id sA9Ms1iN017892; Sun, 9 Nov 2014 22:54:01 GMT
Received: from 950129200 (dhcp-b3f6.meeting.ietf.org [31.133.179.246]) (authenticated bits=0) by asmtp1.iomartmail.com (8.13.8/8.13.8) with ESMTP id sA9Mrvcb017871 (version=TLSv1/SSLv3 cipher=AES128-SHA bits=128 verify=NO); Sun, 9 Nov 2014 22:53:59 GMT
From: Adrian Farrel <adrian@olddog.co.uk>
To: 'Russ Housley' <housley@vigilsec.com>, 'IETF' <ietf@ietf.org>, ccamp-chairs@tools.ietf.org, draft-ietf-ccamp-rwa-info.all@tools.ietf.org
References: <01448044-A5E7-40D8-AE1F-827F0786862E@vigilsec.com>
In-Reply-To: <01448044-A5E7-40D8-AE1F-827F0786862E@vigilsec.com>
Date: Sun, 09 Nov 2014 22:53:55 -0000
Message-ID: <01a801cffc70$0c527160$24f75420$@olddog.co.uk>
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
X-Mailer: Microsoft Outlook 14.0
Content-Language: en-gb
Thread-Index: AQHIEZMtEbtGjNnZ/ycXF+9RsVs/ZZxovNSA
X-TM-AS-MML: disable
X-TM-AS-Product-Ver: IMSS-7.1.0.1576-7.5.0.1018-21088.003
X-TM-AS-Result: No--16.565-10.0-31-10
X-imss-scan-details: No--16.565-10.0-31-10
X-TMASE-MatchedRID: hls5oAVArl+nykMun0J1wh47EGkpGeA9t3aeg7g/usAiFs20Vxq/wnZE Dt3CljaDzC287dvUqvW7x7E+YTJkj8EElERnDJHCdmhRVoZE90Ah/JA0dHadplHpIy6wt5UwcBd H+AtoPBrJ0OM8oMWDQukxLqjE6/O7rO7gb73egJnU3m2KoscyC1HB9PagRph0XCmcAC8DBrO57e 4uOnIrE8esmeQEPdL89VZk2Z1Sk/jqi7LDVhVKrybp/Icb9rGhIM86Aeo6sYIoDMZ3xV44iGEkV LHnjgigi3C9ENUnMVDjPsOZnvJXeE1+zyfzlN7y/sToY2qzpx6x5amWK2anSPoLR4+zsDTt+Tf0 tcxKuLo40JnIGyasn/1982i+9c7NMKkoo0cVovdJ8o1EAaD2XQ==
Archived-At: http://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/gen-art/cqSiqww3szKpSknD4kS2NAQQLXA
Cc: 'General Area Review Team' <gen-art@ietf.org>
Subject: Re: [Gen-art] Gen-ART review of draft-ietf-ccamp-rwa-info-22.txt
X-BeenThere: gen-art@ietf.org
X-Mailman-Version: 2.1.15
Precedence: list
Reply-To: adrian@olddog.co.uk
List-Id: "GEN-ART: General Area Review Team" <gen-art.ietf.org>
List-Unsubscribe: <https://www.ietf.org/mailman/options/gen-art>, <mailto:gen-art-request@ietf.org?subject=unsubscribe>
List-Archive: <http://www.ietf.org/mail-archive/web/gen-art/>
List-Post: <mailto:gen-art@ietf.org>
List-Help: <mailto:gen-art-request@ietf.org?subject=help>
List-Subscribe: <https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art>, <mailto:gen-art-request@ietf.org?subject=subscribe>
X-List-Received-Date: Sun, 09 Nov 2014 22:54:05 -0000

Thanks Russ,

That looks reasonable and tractable.

Adrian

> -----Original Message-----
> From: ietf [mailto:ietf-bounces@ietf.org] On Behalf Of Russ Housley
> Sent: 09 November 2014 22:42
> To: IETF; ccamp-chairs@tools.ietf.org; draft-ietf-ccamp-rwa-
> info.all@tools.ietf.org
> Cc: General Area Review Team
> Subject: Gen-ART review of draft-ietf-ccamp-rwa-info-22.txt
> 
> I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on
> Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at
> <http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.
> 
> Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments
> you may receive.
> 
> Document: draft-ietf-ccamp-rwa-info-22
> Reviewer: Russ Housley
> Review Date: 2014-11-09
> IETF LC End Date: 2014-11-27
> IESG Telechat date: unknown
> 
> Summary: Almost ready; a few minor things to clear up.
> 
> Major Concerns:
> 
> None.
> 
> Minor Concerns:
> 
> In section 3, please add a sentence or two that explains switching
> subsystem and line subsystem.  The definitions might be best appear in
> Section 2.  I checked in RFC 6163, but I did not find a description of
> these terms there.
> 
> Other Comments:
> 
> Section 1 begins with:
> 
>    The purpose of the following information model for WSONs ...
> 
> In my opinion, it would be better to say something like:
> 
>    The purpose of the WSONs information model described in this
>    document ...
> 
> Likewise, in section 3, it says:
> 
>    The following WSON RWA information model ...
> 
> In my opinion, it would be better to say something like:
> 
>    The WSON RWA information model in this document ...
> 
> In section 5.1, 3rd paragraph, it says:
> 
>    ... Since not all input ports
>    can necessarily reach each resource block, the model starts with a
>    resource pool input matrix RI(i,p) = {0,1} whether input port i can
>    reach potentially reach resource block p.
> 
> s/reach potentially reach/potentially reach/
>

v2.45.0 | Report a Bug | By Email | System Status