[Gen-art] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-iasa2-rfc7437bis-05

Elwyn Davies via Datatracker <noreply@ietf.org> Thu, 20 June 2019 07:53 UTC

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Subject: [Gen-art] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-iasa2-rfc7437bis-05
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Reviewer: Elwyn Davies
Review result: Ready with Nits

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed
by the IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just
like any other last call comments.

For more information, please see the FAQ at

<https://trac.ietf.org/trac/gen/wiki/GenArtfaq>.

Document: draft-ietf-iasa2-rfc7437bis-05
Reviewer: Elwyn Davies
Review Date: 2019-06-20
IETF LC End Date: 2019-06-21
IESG Telechat date: Not scheduled for a telechat

Summary: Ready with nits

Major Issues:

None

Minor Issues:

s3.2, para 1 and para 7: I feel the phrase 'superior candidate' is rather
demeaning to an incumbent who may have served with distinction. Suggest in para
1 s/a superior candidate/an alternative candidate/. In para 7 s/A superior
candidate  is one who the NomCom believes/The nominated candidate selected for
each open position by theNomCom, whether incumbent or alternative,  is the one
that they believe/

Nits and Editorials:

s2, Confirmed Candidate: s/that has been/who has been/ (for consistency with
Candidate)

s3.2, para 1: s/its incumbent/its incumbent, assuming that the incumbent has
indicated willingness to continue in post,/

s3.2, para 2: Section 5.4 of draft-ietf-iasa2-rfc4071bis-04 indicates that
there are term limits for the IETF LLC board positions and Section 2 of
draft-ietf-iasa2-trust-update-02 indicates there are term limits for IETF Trust
positions.

s3.3, para 3: s/is selected/are selected/

s3.7.1: The summaries of expertise need to be made public to facilitate
candidate's ability to address the requirements in their submissions to the
NomCom and for others to make appropriate comments on candidates.