From: "Black, David" <David.Black@dell.com>
To: Roni Even <ron.even.tlv@gmail.com>, "gen-art@ietf.org" <gen-art@ietf.org>
CC: "last-call@ietf.org" <last-call@ietf.org>, "detnet@ietf.org"
 <detnet@ietf.org>, "draft-ietf-detnet-ip.all@ietf.org"
 <draft-ietf-detnet-ip.all@ietf.org>, "Black, David" <David.Black@dell.com>
Thread-Topic: [Detnet] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-detnet-ip-05
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Date: Mon, 9 Mar 2020 23:19:44 +0000
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Archived-At:
 <https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/gen-art/YO2euS6Ns7qd19fN91BDP2EtndE>
Subject: Re: [Gen-art] [Detnet] Genart last call review of
 draft-ietf-detnet-ip-05
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Hi Roni,

Inline ...

Thanks, --David

> -----Original Message-----
> From: detnet <detnet-bounces@ietf.org> On Behalf Of Roni Even via
> Datatracker
> Sent: Monday, March 9, 2020 10:44 AM
> To: gen-art@ietf.org
> Cc: last-call@ietf.org; detnet@ietf.org; draft-ietf-detnet-ip.all@ietf.or=
g
> Subject: [Detnet] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-detnet-ip-05
>=20
>=20
> [EXTERNAL EMAIL]
>=20
> Reviewer: Roni Even
> Review result: Ready with Nits
>=20
> I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
> Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed
> by the IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just
> like any other last call comments.
>=20
> For more information, please see the FAQ at
>=20
> <https://trac.ietf.org/trac/gen/wiki/GenArtfaq>.
>=20
> Document: draft-ietf-detnet-ip-??
> Reviewer: Roni Even
> Review Date: 2020-03-09
> IETF LC End Date: 2020-03-13
> IESG Telechat date: Not scheduled for a telechat
>=20
> Summary: The document is ready for publication as a standard track RFC wi=
th
> nits
>=20
> Major issues:
>=20
> Minor issues:
>=20
> Nits/editorial comments:
>=20
> 1. In section 3 the paragraph before the last one " the appropriate DetNe=
t
> flow-specific information and ensures that the receives the proper traffi=
c
> treatment within the domain", looks to me that it should be "that the flo=
w
> receives ..."
[David>] That looks like what was intended.

>=20
> 2.  In section 6  I could not parse the second level bullet "When the DSC=
P
> field is used in flow identification, a list of field values that may be =
used
> by a specific flow."
[David>] The text after the comma is intended to describe the management an=
d control information used to identify the flow, referring back to the DSCP=
 field.

As I'm responsible for this DSCP list "thorn" in the WG's "side" ;-), here'=
s a suggestion to improve clarity:

OLD
      *  If the DSCP field is to be used in flow identification.
         Ignoring the DSCP filed is optional.

      *  When the DSCP field is used in flow identification, a list of
         field values that may be used by a specific flow.
NEW
      *  Whether or not the DSCP field is used in flow identification.
          Use of the DSCP field for flow identification is optional.

      *  If the DSCP field is used to identify a flow, then the flow
          identification information (for that flow) includes a list of
          DSCPs used by that flow.

I took out "that may be used" as including too much detail - that text cove=
rs situations where not all of the DSCP values are actually used, e.g., the=
re could be 5 possible DSCP values for a flow, but only 2 of them occur in =
actual packets.   That's not particularly important here, as the logic that=
 determines whether or not a packet is part of that flow has to match on al=
l 5 possible DSCP values.

>=20
>=20
>=20
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