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Re: [Gen-art] Gen-ART Last Call review of draft-ietf-v6ops-icp-guidance-04

Brian E Carpenter <brian.e.carpenter@gmail.com> Wed, 19 December 2012 07:59 UTC

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Date: Wed, 19 Dec 2012 08:00:02 +0000
From: Brian E Carpenter <brian.e.carpenter@gmail.com>
Organization: University of Auckland
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To: Meral Shirazipour <meral.shirazipour@ericsson.com>
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Cc: "gen-art@ietf.org" <gen-art@ietf.org>, "draft-ietf-v6ops-icp-guidance.all@tools.ietf.org" <draft-ietf-v6ops-icp-guidance.all@tools.ietf.org>
Subject: Re: [Gen-art] Gen-ART Last Call review of draft-ietf-v6ops-icp-guidance-04
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Thanks Meral. We will take care of these if a new version is required;
otherwise they can be handled by the RFC Editor.

Regards
   Brian


On 19/12/2012 06:13, Meral Shirazipour wrote:
> I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq  .
> 
> Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments you may receive.
> 
> Document: draft-ietf-v6ops-icp-guidance-04
> Reviewer: Meral Shirazipour
> Review Date: 2012-12-19
> IETF LC End Date: 2012-12-20
> IESG Telechat date: 2013-01-10
> 
> 
> 
> Summary:
> This draft is almost ready to be published as Informational RFC but I do have some comments.
> 
> 
> Nits/editorial comments:
> -[Page 3], last line, "The most importance" --should be--> "The most important"
> -[Page 3], line 3, "on a unplanned"--should be--> "on an unplanned"
> -[Page 6], paragraph 2 starting "There is an anecdote of..."--suggestion--> This anecdote could be removed as the point is clear enough from the remaining text in Section 3.
> -[Page 10], last sentence, "TLS" --first use--> "Transport Layer Security (TLS)"
> -[Page 11], diagram, please add Figure number and caption.
> -[Page 12], Section 8 Servers. Question: is it relevant to add some text regarding middleboxes and expected behavior?
> -[Page 16], last paragraph, "AAAA records are provid."--typo-->"AAAA records are provided."
> -[Page 22], Section 18.2.  Informative References, please update draft references to their latest version: I-D.ietf-6renum-enterprise,I-D.ietf-6renum-static-problem,I-D.ietf-v6ops-6204bis, and I-D.matthews-v6ops-design-guidelines.
> 
> 
> 
> Best Regards,
> Meral
> 
> ---
> Meral Shirazipour
> Ericsson
> Research
> www.ericsson.com
> 
> 
> 
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