[Gen-art] Gen-ART Last Call review of draft-ietf-mmusic-dtls-sdp-22

Paul Kyzivat <pkyzivat@alum.mit.edu> Mon, 27 March 2017 18:09 UTC

Return-Path: <pkyzivat@alum.mit.edu>
X-Original-To: gen-art@ietfa.amsl.com
Delivered-To: gen-art@ietfa.amsl.com
Received: from localhost (localhost [127.0.0.1]) by ietfa.amsl.com (Postfix) with ESMTP id 0C42312943C for <gen-art@ietfa.amsl.com>; Mon, 27 Mar 2017 11:09:36 -0700 (PDT)
X-Virus-Scanned: amavisd-new at amsl.com
X-Spam-Flag: NO
X-Spam-Score: -1.934
X-Spam-Level:
X-Spam-Status: No, score=-1.934 tagged_above=-999 required=5 tests=[BAYES_00=-1.9, RCVD_IN_DNSWL_LOW=-0.7, SPF_SOFTFAIL=0.665, URIBL_BLOCKED=0.001] autolearn=no autolearn_force=no
Received: from mail.ietf.org ([4.31.198.44]) by localhost (ietfa.amsl.com [127.0.0.1]) (amavisd-new, port 10024) with ESMTP id 1zABgo0eq78z for <gen-art@ietfa.amsl.com>; Mon, 27 Mar 2017 11:09:34 -0700 (PDT)
Received: from resqmta-ch2-05v.sys.comcast.net (resqmta-ch2-05v.sys.comcast.net [IPv6:2001:558:fe21:29:69:252:207:37]) (using TLSv1.2 with cipher ECDHE-RSA-AES256-GCM-SHA384 (256/256 bits)) (No client certificate requested) by ietfa.amsl.com (Postfix) with ESMTPS id 416C2129445 for <gen-art@ietf.org>; Mon, 27 Mar 2017 11:09:33 -0700 (PDT)
Received: from resomta-ch2-01v.sys.comcast.net ([69.252.207.97]) by resqmta-ch2-05v.sys.comcast.net with SMTP id sZ4ZcqoHmygj9sZ5AcCToM; Mon, 27 Mar 2017 18:09:32 +0000
Received: from [192.168.1.110] ([24.62.227.142]) by resomta-ch2-01v.sys.comcast.net with SMTP id sZ59cJEM6Y10NsZ59cdb5y; Mon, 27 Mar 2017 18:09:32 +0000
From: Paul Kyzivat <pkyzivat@alum.mit.edu>
To: draft-ietf-mmusic-dtls-sdp.all@ietf.org
Cc: General Area Review Team <gen-art@ietf.org>, IETF MMUSIC WG <mmusic@ietf.org>
Message-ID: <60b45113-8012-9a6c-2019-dea5b57ca7bb@alum.mit.edu>
Date: Mon, 27 Mar 2017 14:09:31 -0400
User-Agent: Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; Intel Mac OS X 10.10; rv:45.0) Gecko/20100101 Thunderbird/45.8.0
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=utf-8; format=flowed
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit
X-CMAE-Envelope: MS4wfFinlWj36mVuxQyL/fQvW8tq/nPfcoyb65Qgxi7Wdq9TRplqxaDqf17vYQTqPnB+eA1rNulTmVMfBFeoBZLnzk+Hr1V3NRO9iHxPg5F3o8iEmQX7HGSX SXhGxtVhJTHuODWbI7N2cyOmbM5UhS7e02CuZZWmonb1ti3ztCxmcFZrLAMMAOmWnBRpPLzmWyE7FhaA1WJvOxIFwCdUl2trUTDGjFg+nAtiujv5JU2sE0Fv rcvF7afJwQ1D8t78EtLmsw==
Archived-At: <https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/gen-art/fWkXOIi2-7KD4Z0oyJm-MtVMG9o>
Subject: [Gen-art] Gen-ART Last Call review of draft-ietf-mmusic-dtls-sdp-22
X-BeenThere: gen-art@ietf.org
X-Mailman-Version: 2.1.22
Precedence: list
List-Id: "GEN-ART: General Area Review Team" <gen-art.ietf.org>
List-Unsubscribe: <https://www.ietf.org/mailman/options/gen-art>, <mailto:gen-art-request@ietf.org?subject=unsubscribe>
List-Archive: <https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/browse/gen-art/>
List-Post: <mailto:gen-art@ietf.org>
List-Help: <mailto:gen-art-request@ietf.org?subject=help>
List-Subscribe: <https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art>, <mailto:gen-art-request@ietf.org?subject=subscribe>
X-List-Received-Date: Mon, 27 Mar 2017 18:09:36 -0000

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area 
Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed by the 
IESG for the IETF Chair. Please treat these comments just like any other 
last call comments. For more information, please see the FAQ at 
<​http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.

Document: draft-ietf-mmusic-dtls-sdp-22
Reviewer: Paul Kyzivat
Review Date: 2017-03-27
IETF LC End Date: 2017-04-06
IESG Telechat date: TBD

Summary:

This draft is basically ready for publication, but has some minor issues 
and nits that should be fixed before publication.

(I reviewed this previously as part of LC and had no comments. After 
being asked to do a Gen-Art review I went through it more carefully. I 
surprised myself by finding a few thing, though nothing major. This 
confirms my feeling that I can *always* find *something* to improve in a 
draft.)

Issues:

Major: 0
Minor: 1
Nits:  3

(1) Nit:

Regarding the following in section 5.1:

    When an offerer or answerer indicates that it wants to establish a
    new DTLS association, it needs to make sure that media packets in the
    existing DTLS association and new DTLS association can be de-
    multiplexed.

This text presumes there is an existing association. To explicitly cover 
the case where there is not, I suggest the following:

    When an offerer or answerer indicates that it wants to establish a
    new DTLS association to replace an existing association, it needs to
    ensure that media packets in the existing DTLS association and new
    DTLS association can be de-multiplexed.

Later in the section there is a language error is the following:

    The certificate received during the DTLS handshake MUST match a
    certificate fingerprints received in SDP 'fingerprint' attributes
    according to the procedures defined in [I-D.ietf-mmusic-4572-update].

s/match a/match the/

OR

s/certificate fingerprints/certificate fingerprint/

(2) Nit:

In Section 5.4 there is again a presumption of an existing association 
in the following:

    If the answer does not establish a new DTLS association, the offerer
    will continue using the previously established DTLS association.

To fix, I suggest:

    If the offer indicated a desire to reuse an existing DTLS association
    and the answer does not request establishment of a new DTLS
    association, the offerer will continue using the previously
    established DTLS association.

(3) Minor:

I concur with the comments in the ops-dir review by Carlos Pignataro 
regarding the formatting of section 9. He didn't suggest a fix. Perhaps 
some special marker (e.g. "|" or "<" and ">") can be placed in every 
line to indicate it is test from or for another document - either at the 
beginning or end of every line.

(4) Nit:

In Section 9:

The following text is repeated multiple times:

    [RFC EDITOR NOTE: Please replace RFCXXXX with the RFC number
    of this document.]

It would be sufficient and less distracting to the user to simply state 
this once for the entire document.