Re: [Gen-art] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-detnet-flow-information-model-10

Balázs Varga A <balazs.a.varga@ericsson.com> Fri, 02 October 2020 14:54 UTC

Return-Path: <balazs.a.varga@ericsson.com>
X-Original-To: gen-art@ietfa.amsl.com
Delivered-To: gen-art@ietfa.amsl.com
Received: from localhost (localhost [127.0.0.1]) by ietfa.amsl.com (Postfix) with ESMTP id 6483B3A164E; Fri, 2 Oct 2020 07:54:08 -0700 (PDT)
X-Virus-Scanned: amavisd-new at amsl.com
X-Spam-Flag: NO
X-Spam-Score: -3.301
X-Spam-Level:
X-Spam-Status: No, score=-3.301 tagged_above=-999 required=5 tests=[BAYES_00=-1.9, DKIMWL_WL_HIGH=-1.2, DKIM_SIGNED=0.1, DKIM_VALID=-0.1, DKIM_VALID_AU=-0.1, DKIM_VALID_EF=-0.1, RCVD_IN_MSPIKE_H2=-0.001, SPF_PASS=-0.001, URIBL_BLOCKED=0.001] autolearn=ham autolearn_force=no
Authentication-Results: ietfa.amsl.com (amavisd-new); dkim=pass (1024-bit key) header.d=ericsson.com
Received: from mail.ietf.org ([4.31.198.44]) by localhost (ietfa.amsl.com [127.0.0.1]) (amavisd-new, port 10024) with ESMTP id g4CITzqblV-M; Fri, 2 Oct 2020 07:54:06 -0700 (PDT)
Received: from EUR05-AM6-obe.outbound.protection.outlook.com (mail-am6eur05on2065.outbound.protection.outlook.com [40.107.22.65]) (using TLSv1.2 with cipher ECDHE-RSA-AES256-GCM-SHA384 (256/256 bits)) (No client certificate requested) by ietfa.amsl.com (Postfix) with ESMTPS id 8A34D3A164C; Fri, 2 Oct 2020 07:54:06 -0700 (PDT)
ARC-Seal: i=1; a=rsa-sha256; s=arcselector9901; d=microsoft.com; cv=none; b=LbW3UK/vQYLuOoSaF8DnvGLddPYOM1kP4syacf3mPV8DialsQK69godq2NAkNSo8cnqP2Zuf2RyoW5EQC0aSiEZIm7uvAWrzJ3w7/YvPDVzWEyq/26m0BW5bFnO0Sbglx7hQcgPt68tvL7PMrzdq9P3TWRG7YZFTHWVunEBjLUfcH4STLdGB4ALbS4PDYL3GGspqGBdNbFO0kNXoJUuHTw+78M6ot8Yuh8aiE3QGB5S1BXwCpdjMNwlWisaSBeSglGsOV4KT7/aNqpXW/FZ62VhWSJhXC1SMY/pTmQB3i54FTfAl1oWulV8/oZV287lG/SNsdshP1mC+AoUYyAmsKg==
ARC-Message-Signature: i=1; a=rsa-sha256; c=relaxed/relaxed; d=microsoft.com; s=arcselector9901; h=From:Date:Subject:Message-ID:Content-Type:MIME-Version:X-MS-Exchange-SenderADCheck; bh=Mk+AwYwbeJ4K55y6HWjfZjA/9GFvAxwGc8KMfPEfpRs=; b=gDK3wWy4XLtLJ5Ztgfz7CTzIsFGFYid+oDzO0yzIoOP5dNikDIT6kdtzUMytu87R9Qs+gJgOO2r96za9TKxCAzYP3Ja+ON3i5/MEOtZWUPlpUx297LoEY6Ed/D0aMmlOg13E4re8P7Jubm4a1GzNUk9veyP4fUf55HWJOXrd/FHdL0Z824nSFNRVCEqDvPJHEDrnIZ8cJRyUKuk9+LBbuaJZOj25k1Pfhe5xTlhCkwrA3Kod53jmRk6xB7/cJ2Cq0rK+/B5rEM3jiUddRanQ5CeigOGYkxJAGPEBjMJmalt/EhuOEwg+j/oMDVij7TF+ETOWr7/shmX7XKWWngA3Yg==
ARC-Authentication-Results: i=1; mx.microsoft.com 1; spf=pass smtp.mailfrom=ericsson.com; dmarc=pass action=none header.from=ericsson.com; dkim=pass header.d=ericsson.com; arc=none
DKIM-Signature: v=1; a=rsa-sha256; c=relaxed/relaxed; d=ericsson.com; s=selector1; h=From:Date:Subject:Message-ID:Content-Type:MIME-Version:X-MS-Exchange-SenderADCheck; bh=Mk+AwYwbeJ4K55y6HWjfZjA/9GFvAxwGc8KMfPEfpRs=; b=QKtTwxeZ5Yb8Iw7f3B/PgDUphMnHRjegTVNeZcIfSTaNYkJGNwHen0kvkHe7jKthrS6MM5BE6KQvSJSxi6uLvMlINxrv7L7UuZOkGQ3gkq/ItCE2gt4IHmZ8FazanBV9TEJMNoloOdHWu562HLp4vFsIFIb6UmS6hP2YDO0jMBk=
Received: from AM0PR0702MB3603.eurprd07.prod.outlook.com (2603:10a6:208:22::25) by AM0PR07MB4627.eurprd07.prod.outlook.com (2603:10a6:208:7b::11) with Microsoft SMTP Server (version=TLS1_2, cipher=TLS_ECDHE_RSA_WITH_AES_256_GCM_SHA384) id 15.20.3455.13; Fri, 2 Oct 2020 14:54:03 +0000
Received: from AM0PR0702MB3603.eurprd07.prod.outlook.com ([fe80::59ca:540d:b7f3:58b9]) by AM0PR0702MB3603.eurprd07.prod.outlook.com ([fe80::59ca:540d:b7f3:58b9%6]) with mapi id 15.20.3455.013; Fri, 2 Oct 2020 14:54:03 +0000
From: =?utf-8?B?QmFsw6F6cyBWYXJnYSBB?= <balazs.a.varga@ericsson.com>
To: Jouni Korhonen <jouni.nospam@gmail.com>, "gen-art@ietf.org" <gen-art@ietf.org>
CC: "draft-ietf-detnet-flow-information-model.all@ietf.org" <draft-ietf-detnet-flow-information-model.all@ietf.org>, "last-call@ietf.org" <last-call@ietf.org>, "detnet@ietf.org" <detnet@ietf.org>
Thread-Topic: Genart last call review of draft-ietf-detnet-flow-information-model-10
Thread-Index: AQHWiHNilimQCsP/tkCklXXTxGrv76mEg4pA
Date: Fri, 2 Oct 2020 14:54:03 +0000
Message-ID: <AM0PR0702MB3603778195AA05EEE1DAC8C5AC310@AM0PR0702MB3603.eurprd07.prod.outlook.com>
References: <159985321310.5687.7398117847707389741@ietfa.amsl.com>
In-Reply-To: <159985321310.5687.7398117847707389741@ietfa.amsl.com>
Accept-Language: hu-HU, en-US
Content-Language: en-US
X-MS-Has-Attach:
X-MS-TNEF-Correlator:
authentication-results: gmail.com; dkim=none (message not signed) header.d=none;gmail.com; dmarc=none action=none header.from=ericsson.com;
x-originating-ip: [94.21.192.99]
x-ms-publictraffictype: Email
x-ms-office365-filtering-correlation-id: 7e3ea6a3-c184-4b73-141d-08d866e30133
x-ms-traffictypediagnostic: AM0PR07MB4627:
x-microsoft-antispam-prvs: <AM0PR07MB462774847AE7283C3C8E13DFAC310@AM0PR07MB4627.eurprd07.prod.outlook.com>
x-ms-oob-tlc-oobclassifiers: OLM:9508;
x-ms-exchange-senderadcheck: 1
x-microsoft-antispam: BCL:0;
x-microsoft-antispam-message-info: dzoPVZqzvq3Y/se95vBfrrxhPNxrnQRxoMcfR3FR6Z04eawZYNyXuvNvSbOmWaIxbkIcW4zOUklzoPqxQL1QGd2ervgNkkoJv0YvIBnBrwHnVSOYcCy6mbn4qvMd6tHbiWqaLx4rwf6jGUvpyhDtN1aG1OMv9psQKX5EZSKNdEX9kV7EvrqiDrYogQD10QZZtAdlWXLp5RamrxzxyefQDHXs2pcDxEkz94q1BQ2zM5HwPDQhDOjJyslQEY7RABMx+rMJczcbxdZed0BmETmmdZtD786y/6++wSrgumyMrrsZweizYhk4bfo+qSRhyvOi4Tz0XUK3Qcd5TrC/XL+GsC1IX39d5WsytJkov9JGZlBNyO0Ji3ZJdR4KqRmprFGujP+hY9eDz4jo5H7Q9krnDw==
x-forefront-antispam-report: CIP:255.255.255.255; CTRY:; LANG:en; SCL:1; SRV:; IPV:NLI; SFV:NSPM; H:AM0PR0702MB3603.eurprd07.prod.outlook.com; PTR:; CAT:NONE; SFS:(4636009)(366004)(376002)(39860400002)(346002)(396003)(136003)(6506007)(8676002)(86362001)(53546011)(2906002)(4326008)(83380400001)(85182001)(71200400001)(5660300002)(316002)(8936002)(85202003)(33656002)(54906003)(110136005)(83080400001)(7696005)(26005)(9686003)(66476007)(66556008)(186003)(64756008)(66946007)(76116006)(478600001)(52536014)(55016002)(66446008); DIR:OUT; SFP:1101;
x-ms-exchange-antispam-messagedata: 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
x-ms-exchange-transport-forked: True
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="utf-8"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: base64
MIME-Version: 1.0
X-OriginatorOrg: ericsson.com
X-MS-Exchange-CrossTenant-AuthAs: Internal
X-MS-Exchange-CrossTenant-AuthSource: AM0PR0702MB3603.eurprd07.prod.outlook.com
X-MS-Exchange-CrossTenant-Network-Message-Id: 7e3ea6a3-c184-4b73-141d-08d866e30133
X-MS-Exchange-CrossTenant-originalarrivaltime: 02 Oct 2020 14:54:03.5819 (UTC)
X-MS-Exchange-CrossTenant-fromentityheader: Hosted
X-MS-Exchange-CrossTenant-id: 92e84ceb-fbfd-47ab-be52-080c6b87953f
X-MS-Exchange-CrossTenant-mailboxtype: HOSTED
X-MS-Exchange-CrossTenant-userprincipalname: 0Hsm1C/L5k5zo6Z7/uHWLP3uEskRcfHbzMo2AeM15IIwRIv/0UH9LMP3YcBXW5DtmUolo26FmtWRxQvLLDnpuFUv1miA6l7JHSG6nf3yTBk=
X-MS-Exchange-Transport-CrossTenantHeadersStamped: AM0PR07MB4627
Archived-At: <https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/gen-art/fWewgJh5UWBYmNhyeIp_K4sX1oE>
Subject: Re: [Gen-art] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-detnet-flow-information-model-10
X-BeenThere: gen-art@ietf.org
X-Mailman-Version: 2.1.29
Precedence: list
List-Id: "GEN-ART: General Area Review Team" <gen-art.ietf.org>
List-Unsubscribe: <https://www.ietf.org/mailman/options/gen-art>, <mailto:gen-art-request@ietf.org?subject=unsubscribe>
List-Archive: <https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/browse/gen-art/>
List-Post: <mailto:gen-art@ietf.org>
List-Help: <mailto:gen-art-request@ietf.org?subject=help>
List-Subscribe: <https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art>, <mailto:gen-art-request@ietf.org?subject=subscribe>
X-List-Received-Date: Fri, 02 Oct 2020 14:54:09 -0000

Hi Jouni,
Many thanks for your review.
I will correct the editorial comments.
Thanks and cheers
Bala'zs

-----Original Message-----
From: Jouni Korhonen via Datatracker <noreply@ietf.org> 
Sent: Friday, September 11, 2020 9:40 PM
To: gen-art@ietf.org
Cc: draft-ietf-detnet-flow-information-model.all@ietf.org; last-call@ietf.org; detnet@ietf.org
Subject: Genart last call review of draft-ietf-detnet-flow-information-model-10

Reviewer: Jouni Korhonen
Review result: Ready with Nits

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed by the IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just like any other last call comments.

For more information, please see the FAQ at

<https://trac.ietf.org/trac/gen/wiki/GenArtfaq>.

Document: draft-ietf-detnet-flow-information-model-??
Reviewer: Jouni Korhonen
Review Date: 2020-09-11
IETF LC End Date: 2020-09-11
IESG Telechat date: Not scheduled for a telechat

Summary:
This informational document is ready for publication with some editorial nits.

Major issues:
None.

Minor issues:
None.

Nits/editorial comments:

1) Line 210:   remove the excess full stop after "Section 6"
2) Section 1.1 lines 221 to 226. I do not see a reason to the intro text here..
It will read odd after a while when things move on. I recommend leaving only the following text with some rewording:
  "Therefore, the DetNet flow and service
    information models described in this document are based on
    [IEEE8021Qcc], which is an amendment to [IEEE8021Q].
    This document specifies flow and service information models only."
3) Line 853: YANG is referred without a reference. In general, the YANG model gets mentioned for the first time in the summary as "These models are used as input for the YANG model". That came a bit out of sudden here and a some more context would be nice to have.