Re: [Gen-art] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-6lo-backbone-router-14

elwynd <elwynd@googlemail.com> Fri, 07 February 2020 19:47 UTC

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From: elwynd <elwynd@googlemail.com>
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To: "Pascal Thubert (pthubert)" <pthubert@cisco.com>, "gen-art@ietf.org" <gen-art@ietf.org>
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Subject: Re: [Gen-art] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-6lo-backbone-router-14
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Hi, Pascal.Thanks for the rapid turnround!I did check the abbreviations list for the well-knownness of MAC.  There are a multitude of possible expansions so it is not marked as well-known.But otherwise... that looks good and we are all done.It is pretty complex system and I can't say that my brain was capable of running a proper simulation ;-) but it seemed to cover most of the bases that I could think of.  Are there existing implementations (I'd guess so!) - if so it might be worth mentioning somethng about them but that is a nice-to-have.Cheers,ElwynSent from Samsung tablet.
-------- Original message --------From: "Pascal Thubert (pthubert)" <pthubert@cisco.com> Date: 07/02/2020  13:36  (GMT+00:00) To: Elwyn Davies <elwynd@dial.pipex.com>om>, gen-art@ietf.org Cc: last-call@ietf.org, draft-ietf-6lo-backbone-router.all@ietf.org, 6lo@ietf.org Subject: RE: Genart last call review of draft-ietf-6lo-backbone-router-14 Hello Elwyn:Many thanks for your review!Let's see below:> General: s/i.e. /i.e., / (4 places), s/e.g. /e.g.,/ (2 places)Done> > Abbreviations: The definition of abbreviations in this document is inconistent.> There is a list of abbreviations but it is not complete; many abbreviations are> introduced in the text in the usual way and there are some that are not> expanded. Please be consistent - a complete list would be helpful, especially> as some are used before the abbreviations section.Made a pass> References to Neighbor Solicitation/Advertisement messages: The formats> NS(xxxx) and NA(xxxx) are used to refer to various NS/NA messages. Please> add an explanation of this convention and a definition of the various> messages referred to.Added the abbreviations> Use of Layer-2 and Layer-3:  These terms are not normally  hyphenated.Removed the hyphen.> s1: Term STA used for a 'node': Please expand this abbreviation and possibly> explain why it is used (I am unclear how it is derived).STA and AP are 802.11 terminology,  STA means station I believe. Changed to "connectivity to the end node (the Wi-Fi STA)"> > s1, para 5: s/Like/In the same way as/Done> > s1, para 5: ID is not a well-known abbreviation - please expand on first use.Added in the "Abbreviation" section which is where it is first used> > s1, para 9: Need to expand MAC.I think we got directives from RFC editor not to expand very well-known terms. If my memory serves me that was one.> > s2.2, "Sleeping Proxy": It might be useful to add in " which might be in a sleep> state in a low power network"."   Sleeping Proxy         A 6BBR acts as a Sleeping Proxy if it answers ND Neighbor         Solicitations over the Backbone on behalf of the Registering         Node which might be in a sleep state in a low power network.         The Sleeping Proxy that is also a Bridging Proxy will         preferably forward the relevant messages to the Registering         Node as unicast frames in accord to the duty cycle of the         Registering Node and let it respond."> > s2.2, "Routing Proxy": Need to expand TLLA.Done> > s3, para 1: s/The next/The following/ Done> > s3, 2nd set of bullets, bullet #2: s/This includes participating to the>       solicited-node multicast address/This includes responding to messages>       addressed tothe solicited-node multicast address/The point is really the MLD thingy. What about:"     This includes joining the multicast group associated to      the SNMA derived from the Registered Address as specified in      section 7.2.1. of [RFC4861] over the Backbone."> > s3, 2nd set of bullets, bullet #3: Expand NUD on first use (currently expanded> twice in sss6 and 8).Done and looked up /updated the other cases > s3.1: Expand SLLAO on first use.done> s3.3, para at bottom of page 13 just before Figure 5: s/is a transmitted as a> multicast/is transmitted as a multicast /done> s3.3, last para: s/suggests using RPL/suggests using the RPL routing protocol/Done > s3.4, last para: s/details/detail/Done > s3.5, para 1: s/as silently ignored./are silently ignored./Done> s4, last para: s/the MTU MUST have a same value/the MTU MUST have the> same value/Done, found several places> s5, para 2: s/It results that a 6LBR MUST be capable of maintaining a> state/Consequently a 6LBR MUST be capable of maintaining state/ Done> s5, para 3: s/ which may be avoided of/ which may be avoided if/Done> s5, para 5: Expand TLLAO on first use.Done> s9: It would be useful to add a forward ref to s12 where the value of> TENTATIVE_DURATION is defined.Done, same for STALE_DURATION> > s9.1: Remove empty second bullet.Was gone already> > Titles of ss9.1, 9.2 and 9.3: I Think these should be "Operations on...."Changed> > s9.2, 1st bullet: s/small timer/timer with a short setting/.  Is it possible to> recommend any values here or indicate how to assign a suitable value?Added " e.g., a few seconds to a minute;"> > ss9.2, 9.3: It would be useful to add a forward ref to s12 where the value of> STALE_DURATION is defined.Done per the above commentMany thanks again Elwyn!I'm publishing right away as version 15 so people do not suffer from those nits again.All the bestPascal