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Re: [Gen-art] Gen-Art review of draft-holmberg-dispatch-rfc7315-updates

Christer Holmberg <christer.holmberg@ericsson.com> Tue, 12 July 2016 16:46 UTC

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From: Christer Holmberg <christer.holmberg@ericsson.com>
To: Ralph Droms <rdroms.ietf@gmail.com>
Thread-Topic: [Gen-art] Gen-Art review of draft-holmberg-dispatch-rfc7315-updates
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Date: Tue, 12 Jul 2016 16:46:36 +0000
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Subject: Re: [Gen-art] Gen-Art review of draft-holmberg-dispatch-rfc7315-updates
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Hi Ralph,

...

>Yes.  I had missed that 3.3.2 and 3.3.3 come from 3GPP.  The doc makes perfect sense to me now.
>
>Thanks for the clarification and I think the doc is ready for publication considering our agreement on the editorial nits.

Thank You! :)

Regards,

Christer



Nits/editorial comments:

> In section 3.2, it would reduce potential confusion to consistently name the header field referenced in each bullet; e.g.:
>
> OLD:
>
> o  P-Called-Party-ID: Delete statement that the header field can
>    appear in SIP responses.  Add statement that the P-Called-Party-ID
>    header field can appear in the SIP REFER method.
>
> NEW:
>
> o  P-Called-Party-ID: Delete statement that the P-Called-Party-ID
>    header field can appear in SIP responses.  Add statement that
>    the P-Called-Party-ID header field can appear in the SIP REFER method.

I'll fix as suggested.

>Section 3.3.1:
>
>OLD:
>
>This following sections describe, for individual P- header fields,
> the 3GPP use-cases that are base for the updates.
>
>NEW:
>
> The following sections describe, for individual P- header fields,
> the 3GPP use-cases that are the basis for the updates.

I'll fix as suggested.

> Section 3.3.2: uniformly capitalize "Network Provided Location Information".

I'll fix as suggested.

> Section 3.3.2: 3GPP TS 23.228 needs a citation of the referenced document.

I'll add the reference.


Thanks!

Regards,

Christer

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