Re: [Gen-art] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-mpls-ri-rsvp-frr-07

Alissa Cooper <alissa@cooperw.in> Tue, 03 December 2019 18:22 UTC

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From: Alissa Cooper <alissa@cooperw.in>
In-Reply-To: <157242852318.32523.7768098106757158962@ietfa.amsl.com>
Date: Tue, 3 Dec 2019 13:21:55 -0500
Cc: General Area Review Team <gen-art@ietf.org>, last-call@ietf.org, draft-ietf-mpls-ri-rsvp-frr.all@ietf.org, mpls@ietf.org
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To: Theresa Enghardt <theresa@inet.tu-berlin.de>
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Subject: Re: [Gen-art] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-mpls-ri-rsvp-frr-07
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Theresa, thanks for your review. I entered a No Objection ballot and requested a response to your review.

Alissa


> On Oct 30, 2019, at 5:42 AM, Theresa Enghardt via Datatracker <noreply@ietf.org>; wrote:
> 
> Reviewer: Theresa Enghardt
> Review result: Ready with Nits
> 
> I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
> Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed
> by the IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just
> like any other last call comments.
> 
> For more information, please see the FAQ at
> 
> <https://trac.ietf.org/trac/gen/wiki/GenArtfaq>;.
> 
> Document: draft-ietf-mpls-ri-rsvp-frr-07
> Reviewer: Theresa Enghardt
> Review Date: 2019-10-30
> IETF LC End Date: 2019-11-05
> IESG Telechat date: Not scheduled for a telechat
> 
> Summary: This draft is basically ready for publication, but has nits that
> should be fixed before publication.
> 
> Major issues: None.
> 
> Minor issues: None.
> 
> Nits/editorial comments:
> 
> The abstract is hard to parse and could be improved by fixing the following
> nits.
> 
> OLD: "Facility backup method allows"
> NEW: "The facility backup method allows"
> 
> OLD: "The many-to-one nature of local repair technique"
> NEW: "The many-to-one nature of this local repair technique"
> 
> OLD: "This document enumerates facility backup procedures in RFC 4090"
> NEW: "This document enumerates the facility backup procedures in RFC 4090" [or
> "several facility backup procedures", if not all procedures are enumerated here]
> 
> OLD: "and hence make facility backup method refresh-interval dependent."
> NEW: "and hence make the facility backup method refresh-interval dependent."
> 
> OLD: "The RSVP-TE extensions defined in this document will enhance"
> NEW: "This document defines RSVP-TE extensions to enhance"
> 
> Are "facility backup method", "facility backup procedure" and "facility backup
> protection mechanism" all the same thing? Please consider using only a single
> term to avoid confusion.
> 
> Please double-check the use of definite and indefinite articles in the rest of
> the document as well.
> 
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