Re: [Gen-art] [Last-Call] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-ippm-rfc8889bis-02

Lars Eggert <lars@eggert.org> Tue, 12 July 2022 18:38 UTC

Return-Path: <lars@eggert.org>
X-Original-To: gen-art@ietfa.amsl.com
Delivered-To: gen-art@ietfa.amsl.com
Received: from localhost (localhost [127.0.0.1]) by ietfa.amsl.com (Postfix) with ESMTP id AD9D6C14CF1E; Tue, 12 Jul 2022 11:38:51 -0700 (PDT)
X-Virus-Scanned: amavisd-new at amsl.com
X-Spam-Flag: NO
X-Spam-Score: -2.105
X-Spam-Level:
X-Spam-Status: No, score=-2.105 tagged_above=-999 required=5 tests=[BAYES_00=-1.9, DKIM_SIGNED=0.1, DKIM_VALID=-0.1, DKIM_VALID_AU=-0.1, DKIM_VALID_EF=-0.1, RCVD_IN_DNSWL_BLOCKED=0.001, RCVD_IN_ZEN_BLOCKED_OPENDNS=0.001, SPF_HELO_NONE=0.001, SPF_PASS=-0.001, T_SCC_BODY_TEXT_LINE=-0.01, URIBL_BLOCKED=0.001, URIBL_DBL_BLOCKED_OPENDNS=0.001, URIBL_ZEN_BLOCKED_OPENDNS=0.001] autolearn=ham autolearn_force=no
Authentication-Results: ietfa.amsl.com (amavisd-new); dkim=pass (1024-bit key) header.d=eggert.org
Received: from mail.ietf.org ([50.223.129.194]) by localhost (ietfa.amsl.com [127.0.0.1]) (amavisd-new, port 10024) with ESMTP id KY9DJhX2pPn3; Tue, 12 Jul 2022 11:38:47 -0700 (PDT)
Received: from mail.eggert.org (mail.eggert.org [IPv6:2a00:ac00:4000:400:211:32ff:fe22:186f]) (using TLSv1.2 with cipher ECDHE-RSA-AES128-GCM-SHA256 (128/128 bits)) (No client certificate requested) by ietfa.amsl.com (Postfix) with ESMTPS id 553C5C14F6EB; Tue, 12 Jul 2022 11:38:44 -0700 (PDT)
Received: from smtpclient.apple (unknown [209.242.135.14]) (using TLSv1.2 with cipher ECDHE-RSA-AES256-GCM-SHA384 (256/256 bits)) (No client certificate requested) by mail.eggert.org (Postfix) with ESMTPSA id 283F21D374B; Tue, 12 Jul 2022 21:38:33 +0300 (EEST)
DKIM-Signature: v=1; a=rsa-sha256; c=relaxed/simple; d=eggert.org; s=dkim; t=1657651116; bh=BAW4sY+kGyByOPgi3xKyG1udfakYi1mGkhMd/uVTD0E=; h=Subject:From:In-Reply-To:Date:Cc:References:To; b=Trc/Sd3dIerGqA+lQLbmUB0F+LXCikJX0WG55qHV/g4z7LhoIartcsZvXdSi895FQ 0fj5Y1YUsy2G8lmkeen/MOS0w8pYj6rI6lACDsUn8i2xnIPXddEg3hYqRgIEcfBDKQ x/yDdl1mkgYTamUgwLgxptuAAj5V40Wsu1DfLbYA=
Content-Type: multipart/signed; boundary="Apple-Mail=_CA9DEB27-6F07-42E7-984C-8CC55BF2B4A0"; protocol="application/pgp-signature"; micalg="pgp-sha512"
Mime-Version: 1.0 (Mac OS X Mail 16.0 \(3696.100.31\))
From: Lars Eggert <lars@eggert.org>
In-Reply-To: <165651143026.26585.5485702741745802901@ietfa.amsl.com>
Date: Tue, 12 Jul 2022 11:38:31 -0700
Cc: gen-art@ietf.org, draft-ietf-ippm-rfc8889bis.all@ietf.org, ippm@ietf.org, last-call@ietf.org
Message-Id: <9EFA1CBF-2AA9-41F3-B2F3-ABF3FC12D76F@eggert.org>
References: <165651143026.26585.5485702741745802901@ietfa.amsl.com>
To: Russ Housley <housley@vigilsec.com>
X-MailScanner-ID: 283F21D374B.A1FC8
X-MailScanner: Not scanned: please contact your Internet E-Mail Service Provider for details
X-MailScanner-From: lars@eggert.org
Archived-At: <https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/gen-art/mChXc8KnQY-NQj9qDB8vKnArBPo>
Subject: Re: [Gen-art] [Last-Call] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-ippm-rfc8889bis-02
X-BeenThere: gen-art@ietf.org
X-Mailman-Version: 2.1.39
Precedence: list
List-Id: "GEN-ART: General Area Review Team" <gen-art.ietf.org>
List-Unsubscribe: <https://www.ietf.org/mailman/options/gen-art>, <mailto:gen-art-request@ietf.org?subject=unsubscribe>
List-Archive: <https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/browse/gen-art/>
List-Post: <mailto:gen-art@ietf.org>
List-Help: <mailto:gen-art-request@ietf.org?subject=help>
List-Subscribe: <https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art>, <mailto:gen-art-request@ietf.org?subject=subscribe>
X-List-Received-Date: Tue, 12 Jul 2022 18:38:51 -0000

Russ, thank you for your review. I have entered a Discuss ballot for this document based on my own review.

Lars


> On 2022-6-29, at 7:03, Russ Housley via Datatracker <noreply@ietf.org> wrote:
> 
> Reviewer: Russ Housley
> Review result: Ready with Nits
> 
> I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
> Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed
> by the IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just
> like any other last call comments.
> 
> For more information, please see the FAQ at
> <http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.
> 
> Document: draft-ietf-ippm-rfc8889bis-02
> Reviewer: Russ Housley
> Review Date: 2022-06-29
> IETF LC End Date: 2022-06-21
> IESG Telechat date: 2022-07-14
> 
> 
> Summary: Ready with Nits
> 
> 
> Major Concerns: None
> 
> 
> Minor Concerns:
> 
> Section 8 says: "... can be incorporated into A, ..."
> I think that "A" is described in Figure 5, but it took me
> a few minutes to figure that out.  Please clarify.
> 
> 
> Section 9 says:
> 
>   Either one or two flag bits might be available for marking in
>   different deployments:
> 
> This is followed by three labeled paragraphs.  Can this sentence
> be expanded to cover all three of the paragraphs that follow?
> 
> 
> Nits:
> 
> Section 5.1: s/split our monitoring/split the monitoring/
> 
> Section 5.1: s/In our monitoring network/In the monitoring network/
> 
> Section 5.1 says:
> 
>   The algorithm described above network is an iterative clustering
>   algorithm, but it is also possible to apply a recursive clustering
>   algorithm by using the node-node adjacency matrix representation
>   [IEEE-ACM-ToN-MPNPM].
> 
> I cannot understand is sentence.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> --
> last-call mailing list
> last-call@ietf.org
> https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/last-call