Re: [Gen-art] Genart telechat review of draft-ietf-ntp-bcp-10

Denis Reilly <denis.reilly@orolia.com> Wed, 19 December 2018 20:32 UTC

Return-Path: <denis.reilly@orolia.com>
X-Original-To: gen-art@ietfa.amsl.com
Delivered-To: gen-art@ietfa.amsl.com
Received: from localhost (localhost [127.0.0.1]) by ietfa.amsl.com (Postfix) with ESMTP id 18AFD130ED8; Wed, 19 Dec 2018 12:32:25 -0800 (PST)
X-Virus-Scanned: amavisd-new at amsl.com
X-Spam-Flag: NO
X-Spam-Score: -2.001
X-Spam-Level:
X-Spam-Status: No, score=-2.001 tagged_above=-999 required=5 tests=[BAYES_00=-1.9, DKIM_SIGNED=0.1, DKIM_VALID=-0.1, DKIM_VALID_AU=-0.1, RCVD_IN_DNSWL_NONE=-0.0001, SPF_PASS=-0.001] autolearn=ham autolearn_force=no
Authentication-Results: ietfa.amsl.com (amavisd-new); dkim=pass (1024-bit key) header.d=orolia.com
Received: from mail.ietf.org ([4.31.198.44]) by localhost (ietfa.amsl.com [127.0.0.1]) (amavisd-new, port 10024) with ESMTP id 7i4JA91NZ9H1; Wed, 19 Dec 2018 12:32:21 -0800 (PST)
Received: from EUR03-VE1-obe.outbound.protection.outlook.com (mail-ve1eur03on062b.outbound.protection.outlook.com [IPv6:2a01:111:f400:fe09::62b]) (using TLSv1.2 with cipher ECDHE-RSA-AES256-GCM-SHA384 (256/256 bits)) (No client certificate requested) by ietfa.amsl.com (Postfix) with ESMTPS id 2B3BB130EC9; Wed, 19 Dec 2018 12:32:20 -0800 (PST)
DKIM-Signature: v=1; a=rsa-sha256; c=relaxed/relaxed; d=orolia.com; s=selector1; h=From:Date:Subject:Message-ID:Content-Type:MIME-Version:X-MS-Exchange-SenderADCheck; bh=pZYieQPS35D9KG5m3g1SXwNVDLhH6Ur5WKM9rWpFkv8=; b=za1UgGdu8/XjY4boysfZEgwvABlLyTaQae+OyyshNUo1NMq7VryP+oesuJDEShAPJcGZl8OvZUQLFbP4K+pst/Qndmkoj3soUQj0nPrHA0XfVRqIeZrDHCx5zPD3K41O/8q2T3l13qaVveZD/s2KS2ghj9xei9DYFw7uXhLLtEw=
Received: from AM0PR0602MB3730.eurprd06.prod.outlook.com (52.133.40.31) by AM0PR0602MB3523.eurprd06.prod.outlook.com (52.133.49.30) with Microsoft SMTP Server (version=TLS1_2, cipher=TLS_ECDHE_RSA_WITH_AES_256_GCM_SHA384) id 15.20.1425.19; Wed, 19 Dec 2018 20:32:17 +0000
Received: from AM0PR0602MB3730.eurprd06.prod.outlook.com ([fe80::c51e:b43f:5e7a:b606]) by AM0PR0602MB3730.eurprd06.prod.outlook.com ([fe80::c51e:b43f:5e7a:b606%2]) with mapi id 15.20.1425.024; Wed, 19 Dec 2018 20:32:17 +0000
From: Denis Reilly <denis.reilly@orolia.com>
To: Robert Sparks <rjsparks@nostrum.com>, "gen-art@ietf.org" <gen-art@ietf.org>
CC: "ntp@ietf.org" <ntp@ietf.org>, "draft-ietf-ntp-bcp.all@ietf.org" <draft-ietf-ntp-bcp.all@ietf.org>, "ietf@ietf.org" <ietf@ietf.org>, "'odonoghue@isoc.org'" <odonoghue@isoc.org>
Thread-Topic: Genart telechat review of draft-ietf-ntp-bcp-10
Thread-Index: AQHUkzlLm4LO9mbHHkyspiydpK4P1aWGjH7g
Date: Wed, 19 Dec 2018 20:32:17 +0000
Message-ID: <AM0PR0602MB37301E789BDBBB4C785F83A4FFBE0@AM0PR0602MB3730.eurprd06.prod.outlook.com>
References: <154474273232.32079.9486696704928473641@ietfa.amsl.com>
In-Reply-To: <154474273232.32079.9486696704928473641@ietfa.amsl.com>
Accept-Language: en-US
Content-Language: en-US
X-MS-Has-Attach:
X-MS-TNEF-Correlator:
authentication-results: spf=none (sender IP is ) smtp.mailfrom=denis.reilly@orolia.com;
x-originating-ip: [66.193.84.98]
x-ms-publictraffictype: Email
x-microsoft-exchange-diagnostics: 1; AM0PR0602MB3523; 6:vGjrTaiMhBow/WjYvg82I9M3yCt4fgRMJ9T6DrpQDAI2NJSBr0YGKJaygaP/pbFgKsHFMln4oG6uakHAbo8vvhFvrLGWTpKeINlRIb8Avg0XsTuSVKASpU32qO1D+gj6/tj+YE/ghsnvgkht9SgFtnBn/u/1uOUv8jw+BEu3HR/me0Xfcuya3iX6X42X9w77QLGWBioCL3OOFLougP0P1f23PGL+iHeDFosVx2IkXUxcWMuC043G1aGJjLvDJ1qPuafilSuDkuv2wrouxY0iKwAGGTFKL4lxaYrFikwESQuj+HWZwgXvWaX9dBMfNuaNvJKn3RzYN09fp6t3gexaHgbOaK/rrH2sDtJIg7wPRxRg/UxneBaCbm7tVXI4EzqDUyZRNtVnoYHejHZ54t4GwZF9wMJICXT7VzQO9++mxylxA3ZEiLrWjnwLbD0zCN8DBs0g5+yb2fjbv876jbtOLA==; 5:fVjDeBJAA32lQAME2jAcZivHptcXyuBVhvUxiGGIyvcD0ahvUBf1+c8J25BUhGyB1LHTWImxRNod4nEaGllwtIcfuYYZUZiqA2n32MiGB5z0Kh0MN6kkTwEsD3C5iLQhBeWmFjBVqlaECFf3fznb8M/lZaNTc6UHZv2UxaTvYOg=; 7:ElaUD4XmvJE3VuYdTyGOZP/JfFiYO0ff/AZeQnfsAD3b/2aGnbmyTgIRjDPXHBLCipwmO3WNsasHL8pEq+1EhDIv3v5GCax8AwhcebE+VEsmvolPJPfFn5d0Y2CNoEc1/nhVNHjhPlp4+mEVsVLEUQ==
x-ms-exchange-antispam-srfa-diagnostics: SOS;
x-ms-office365-filtering-correlation-id: dc7c7656-52d3-4c30-45a4-08d665f11168
x-microsoft-antispam: BCL:0; PCL:0; RULEID:(2390118)(7020095)(4652040)(8989299)(4534185)(4627221)(201703031133081)(201702281549075)(8990200)(5600074)(711020)(2017052603328)(7153060)(7193020); SRVR:AM0PR0602MB3523;
x-ms-traffictypediagnostic: AM0PR0602MB3523:
x-microsoft-antispam-prvs: <AM0PR0602MB35237D66EB0D269BF9F68475FFBE0@AM0PR0602MB3523.eurprd06.prod.outlook.com>
x-ms-exchange-senderadcheck: 1
x-exchange-antispam-report-cfa-test: BCL:0; PCL:0; RULEID:(8211001083)(3230021)(999002)(6040522)(2401047)(5005006)(8121501046)(10201501046)(3002001)(3231475)(944501520)(52105112)(93006095)(93001095)(149066)(150057)(6041310)(20161123562045)(20161123564045)(20161123558120)(20161123560045)(201703131423095)(201702281528075)(20161123555045)(201703061421075)(201703061406153)(201708071742011)(7699051)(76991095); SRVR:AM0PR0602MB3523; BCL:0; PCL:0; RULEID:; SRVR:AM0PR0602MB3523;
x-forefront-prvs: 0891BC3F3D
x-forefront-antispam-report: SFV:NSPM; SFS:(10009020)(376002)(366004)(346002)(39850400004)(136003)(396003)(13464003)(199004)(189003)(6506007)(53546011)(102836004)(14454004)(97736004)(86362001)(4001150100001)(25786009)(26005)(66066001)(74316002)(305945005)(2906002)(5660300001)(68736007)(186003)(7736002)(71190400001)(71200400001)(6116002)(476003)(3846002)(44832011)(8676002)(9686003)(81156014)(81166006)(8936002)(486006)(229853002)(106356001)(53936002)(2501003)(6246003)(105586002)(99286004)(6306002)(6436002)(55016002)(11346002)(76176011)(446003)(478600001)(7696005)(4326008)(256004)(14444005)(316002)(54906003)(33656002)(5024004)(110136005); DIR:OUT; SFP:1101; SCL:1; SRVR:AM0PR0602MB3523; H:AM0PR0602MB3730.eurprd06.prod.outlook.com; FPR:; SPF:None; LANG:en; PTR:InfoNoRecords; A:1; MX:1;
received-spf: None (protection.outlook.com: orolia.com does not designate permitted sender hosts)
x-microsoft-antispam-message-info: uH7JiThHs6LFyjga96xUANu9EJs0o9+WRmLLzG+YKKE3b+USrd+guZfJ4dmnqm+C+mA9MmWq7HQNm2lHFRMz7z/BhlsZa4qXpexFQbAfveEhhX9g0KgPs5qsRXv0UqSkwyw5f92jZFkSkcejRlziLG06PdMp9gLBMniMwt1W/1L9cM2YJHM1I9veRtEI23rHKQLMmU2hbdBSIRnMQWoepDWQ/F3VoxwgeGBsVljy7igVghQ4x5BTUNuvvU8HEPfDTu/pZ7bzlxPOOCyWKwRW8HJ9+Z3x0j3S7GuAUJMSWxiKDEwgOKKWkCqcPW9/03Xp
spamdiagnosticoutput: 1:99
spamdiagnosticmetadata: NSPM
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="utf-8"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: base64
MIME-Version: 1.0
X-OriginatorOrg: orolia.com
X-MS-Exchange-CrossTenant-Network-Message-Id: dc7c7656-52d3-4c30-45a4-08d665f11168
X-MS-Exchange-CrossTenant-originalarrivaltime: 19 Dec 2018 20:32:17.2503 (UTC)
X-MS-Exchange-CrossTenant-fromentityheader: Hosted
X-MS-Exchange-CrossTenant-id: a263030c-9c1b-421f-9471-1dec0b29c664
X-MS-Exchange-Transport-CrossTenantHeadersStamped: AM0PR0602MB3523
Archived-At: <https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/gen-art/RrkWo4r7dLqJt8bVpkDvusO0kHU>
Subject: Re: [Gen-art] Genart telechat review of draft-ietf-ntp-bcp-10
X-BeenThere: gen-art@ietf.org
X-Mailman-Version: 2.1.29
Precedence: list
List-Id: "GEN-ART: General Area Review Team" <gen-art.ietf.org>
List-Unsubscribe: <https://www.ietf.org/mailman/options/gen-art>, <mailto:gen-art-request@ietf.org?subject=unsubscribe>
List-Archive: <https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/browse/gen-art/>
List-Post: <mailto:gen-art@ietf.org>
List-Help: <mailto:gen-art-request@ietf.org?subject=help>
List-Subscribe: <https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art>, <mailto:gen-art-request@ietf.org?subject=subscribe>
X-List-Received-Date: Wed, 19 Dec 2018 20:32:25 -0000

Hello, Robert! Thanks for your review.

Your comments prompted one more read-through of the draft, with specific attention to your points, both to be more specific with actors and to refine the 2119 keywords. Karen O'Donoghue has been very helpful in helping us sort this out, and you can expect everything to be tighter in the next revision.

Also, your point specifically about the sentence
"If the time
on your network has to be correct close to 100% of the time, then even if you
are using a satellite-based system, operators need to plan for those rare
instances when the system is unavailable (or wrong!)."

We plan on changing this to:
Depending on the application requirements, operators may need to consider backup scenarios in the rare circumstance when the satellite system is faulty or unavailable.

Best Regards,

--
Denis Reilly  |  Technical Lead  |  denis.reilly@orolia.com  (585)321-5837

-----Original Message-----
From: Robert Sparks <rjsparks@nostrum.com>; 
Sent: Thursday, December 13, 2018 6:12 PM
To: gen-art@ietf.org
Cc: ntp@ietf.org; draft-ietf-ntp-bcp.all@ietf.org; ietf@ietf.org
Subject: Genart telechat review of draft-ietf-ntp-bcp-10

Reviewer: Robert Sparks
Review result: Ready with Nits

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed by the IESG for the IETF Chair. Please wait for direction from your document shepherd or AD before posting a new version of the draft.

For more information, please see the FAQ at

<https://trac.ietf.org/trac/gen/wiki/GenArtfaq>;.

Document: draft-ietf-ntp-bcp-10
Reviewer: Robert Sparks
Review Date: 2018-12-13
IETF LC End Date: 2018-10-08
IESG Telechat date: 2018-12-20

Summary: Ready (but with nits that should be considered) for publication as a BCP RFC

Nits/editorial comments:

With a couple of exceptions, the changes between -07 and -10 are very helpful - the document reads much more naturally.

One of the changes was to be more specific with actors - many uses of "you" or "your" were replaced with "the operator" for example. But this wasn't done throughout the document ("you" and "your" still appear frequently), and in at least one place the change caused a sentence to stop making sense: "If the time on your network has to be correct close to 100% of the time, then even if you are using a satellite-based system, operators need to plan for those rare instances when the system is unavailable (or wrong!)."

I strongly encourage yet another pass focusing on removing "you" and "your" to the extent possible.

The changes also included using 2119 keywords much more often. Unfortunately many of the new uses are not appropriate. "Vendors MUST" and several instances of "It is RECOMMENDED" are particularly jarring. Moving 2119 to be an Informational reference is also incorrect if you are going to use those terms in this document.


ATTENTION: This email came from an external source.
Do not open attachments or click on links from unknown senders or unexpected emails.