Re: [Gen-art] Genart telechat review of draft-ietf-ntp-bcp-10

[Denis Reilly <[e-mail]>]

Hello, Robert! Thanks for your review.

Your comments prompted one more read-through of the draft, with specific attention to your points, both to be more specific with actors and to refine the 2119 keywords. Karen O'Donoghue has been very helpful in helping us sort this out, and you can expect everything to be tighter in the next revision.

Also, your point specifically about the sentence
"If the time
on your network has to be correct close to 100% of the time, then even if you
are using a satellite-based system, operators need to plan for those rare
instances when the system is unavailable (or wrong!)."

We plan on changing this to:
Depending on the application requirements, operators may need to consider backup scenarios in the rare circumstance when the satellite system is faulty or unavailable.

Best Regards,

--
Denis Reilly  |  Technical Lead  |  [e-mail]  [phone]

-----Original Message-----
From: Robert Sparks <[e-mail]> 
Sent: Thursday, December 13, 2018 6:12 PM
To: [e-mail]
Cc: [e-mail]; [e-mail]; [e-mail]
Subject: Genart telechat review of draft-ietf-ntp-bcp-10

Reviewer: Robert Sparks
Review result: Ready with Nits

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Document: draft-ietf-ntp-bcp-10
Reviewer: Robert Sparks
Review Date: 2018-12-13
IETF LC End Date: 2018-10-08
IESG Telechat date: 2018-12-20

Summary: Ready (but with nits that should be considered) for publication as a BCP RFC

Nits/editorial comments:

With a couple of exceptions, the changes between -07 and -10 are very helpful - the document reads much more naturally.

One of the changes was to be more specific with actors - many uses of "you" or "your" were replaced with "the operator" for example. But this wasn't done throughout the document ("you" and "your" still appear frequently), and in at least one place the change caused a sentence to stop making sense: "If the time on your network has to be correct close to 100% of the time, then even if you are using a satellite-based system, operators need to plan for those rare instances when the system is unavailable (or wrong!)."

I strongly encourage yet another pass focusing on removing "you" and "your" to the extent possible.

The changes also included using 2119 keywords much more often. Unfortunately many of the new uses are not appropriate. "Vendors MUST" and several instances of "It is RECOMMENDED" are particularly jarring. Moving 2119 to be an Informational reference is also incorrect if you are going to use those terms in this document.


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