Re: [Gen-art] review of draft-ietf-trill-centralized-replication-10.txt

["Susan Hares" <[e-mail]>]

Francis:

Thank you for reviewing this document. 

Susan Hares 
WG Chair 

-----Original Message-----
From: Francis Dupont [mailto:[e-mail]] 
Sent: Monday, December 11, 2017 11:30 AM
To: [e-mail]
Cc: [e-mail]
Subject: review of draft-ietf-trill-centralized-replication-10.txt

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area Review
Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed by the IESG for
the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just like any other last call
comments.

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Document: draft-ietf-trill-centralized-replication-10.txt
Reviewer: Francis Dupont
Review Date: 20171209
IETF LC End Date: 20171212
IESG Telechat date: unknown

Summary: Ready with Issues

Major issues: None

Minor issues: C-nickname is used before being defined

Nits/editorial comments: 
 - Abstract page 1: please expand the RPF abbrev

 - Abstract page 1 and 1 page 3: Mutlicast -> Multicast

 - ToC page 2 and 3 title page 5:
  Centralized Replication Solution Overview -> Centralized replication
  solution overview
  (mainly for consistency)

 - ToC page 2 and 6 title page 8: a edge group -> an edge group
  (It seems both are accepted?)

 - ToC page 2 and 9 title page 12: I have a little concern with the
  CMT abbrev which BTW is not in the RFC Editor list
  (https://www.rfc-editor.org/materials/abbrev.expansion.txt)
  I suggest to add "(RFC 7783)" after CMT

 - ToC page 3 and 10 title page 13:
  Network Upgrade Analysis -> Network upgrade analysis
  (still consistency)

 - 1 page 3: at the first read it was not obvious that RBv is just the
  notation for a virtual RBridge. I suggest to do the same than for RBn,
  i.e., to change the first occurrence from RBv to (RBv).

 - 1 page 3: my US English spell checker does not accept learnt
  (it wants learned ???)

 - 2 page 4: please move from RFC 2119 to its update RFC 8174

 - 2 page 4: LAALP -Local -> LAALP - Local

 - 3 page 5 title: cf ToC comment

 - 3 page 5: " BUM packet should be..." an example of a lower case
  "should" which can take benefit of RFC 8174 (vs RFC 2119). Note
  there are two other "should"s next page and a "may" in 4 (and other
  lower case keywords).

 - 3 page 6: C-nickname is used without explanation of what it is
  (the explanation is in 9 page 12 so far later). Some words and/or
  a forward reference should solve the issue.

 - 8 page 11 (last line): nodes/ multiple -> nodes / multiple

 - 9 page 12 title: cf ToC comment

 - 9 page 12: CMT -> Coordinated Multicast Trees (CMT)
  (at the first occurrence, i.e., first line after figure 2)

 - 9 page 12: the definition of C-nickname is here.
  BTW you use both C-flag and C-nickname flag, the second is not
  very correct from a language point of view but is very clear
  technically so I shan't object if you keep it.

 - 10 page 13 title: cf ToC comment

 - 11 page 13: psudo -> pseudo

 - Authors' Addresses page 17 (two occurrences): China -> PR China
  (or you can switch all countries to ISO IS 3166 two letter codes)

Regards

[e-mail]