Re: [Gen-art] review of draft-ietf-decade-problem-statement-05.txt

Songhaibin <haibin.song@huawei.com> Mon, 27 February 2012 07:29 UTC

Return-Path: <haibin.song@huawei.com>
X-Original-To: gen-art@ietfa.amsl.com
Delivered-To: gen-art@ietfa.amsl.com
Received: from localhost (localhost [127.0.0.1]) by ietfa.amsl.com (Postfix) with ESMTP id DE55E21F851D; Sun, 26 Feb 2012 23:29:55 -0800 (PST)
X-Virus-Scanned: amavisd-new at amsl.com
X-Spam-Flag: NO
X-Spam-Score: -6.536
X-Spam-Level:
X-Spam-Status: No, score=-6.536 tagged_above=-999 required=5 tests=[AWL=0.063, BAYES_00=-2.599, RCVD_IN_DNSWL_MED=-4]
Received: from mail.ietf.org ([12.22.58.30]) by localhost (ietfa.amsl.com [127.0.0.1]) (amavisd-new, port 10024) with ESMTP id H-5JCWrTzaIz; Sun, 26 Feb 2012 23:29:55 -0800 (PST)
Received: from szxga04-in.huawei.com (szxga04-in.huawei.com [119.145.14.67]) by ietfa.amsl.com (Postfix) with ESMTP id 29B4C21F8501; Sun, 26 Feb 2012 23:29:55 -0800 (PST)
Received: from huawei.com (szxga04-in [172.24.2.12]) by szxga04-in.huawei.com (iPlanet Messaging Server 5.2 HotFix 2.14 (built Aug 8 2006)) with ESMTP id <0M010001PJHO7K@szxga04-in.huawei.com>; Mon, 27 Feb 2012 15:29:49 +0800 (CST)
Received: from szxrg02-dlp.huawei.com ([172.24.2.119]) by szxga04-in.huawei.com (iPlanet Messaging Server 5.2 HotFix 2.14 (built Aug 8 2006)) with ESMTP id <0M01006LPJH6ZG@szxga04-in.huawei.com>; Mon, 27 Feb 2012 15:29:48 +0800 (CST)
Received: from szxeml209-edg.china.huawei.com ([172.24.2.119]) by szxrg02-dlp.huawei.com (MOS 4.1.9-GA) with ESMTP id AHK81527; Mon, 27 Feb 2012 15:29:48 +0800
Received: from SZXEML430-HUB.china.huawei.com (10.72.61.38) by szxeml209-edg.china.huawei.com (172.24.2.184) with Microsoft SMTP Server (TLS) id 14.1.323.3; Mon, 27 Feb 2012 15:29:18 +0800
Received: from SZXEML534-MBX.china.huawei.com ([169.254.2.222]) by szxeml430-hub.china.huawei.com ([10.72.61.38]) with mapi id 14.01.0323.003; Mon, 27 Feb 2012 15:29:41 +0800
Date: Mon, 27 Feb 2012 07:30:11 +0000
From: Songhaibin <haibin.song@huawei.com>
In-reply-to: <201202261717.q1QHHE0r072883@givry.fdupont.fr>
X-Originating-IP: [10.138.41.129]
To: "Francis.Dupont@fdupont.fr" <Francis.Dupont@fdupont.fr>, "gen-art@ietf.org" <gen-art@ietf.org>
Message-id: <E33E01DFD5BEA24B9F3F18671078951F156DCB3E@szxeml534-mbx.china.huawei.com>
MIME-version: 1.0
Content-type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii
Content-language: zh-CN
Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT
Accept-Language: en-US, zh-CN
Thread-topic: review of draft-ietf-decade-problem-statement-05.txt
Thread-index: AQHM9KqHGEiLFvsSxkqKVT/NIeFzUJZQWP3w
X-MS-Has-Attach:
X-MS-TNEF-Correlator:
X-CFilter-Loop: Reflected
References: <201202261717.q1QHHE0r072883@givry.fdupont.fr>
X-Mailman-Approved-At: Mon, 27 Feb 2012 04:59:27 -0800
Cc: "decade@ietf.org" <decade@ietf.org>, "draft-ietf-decade-problem-statement.all@tools.ietf.org" <draft-ietf-decade-problem-statement.all@tools.ietf.org>
Subject: Re: [Gen-art] review of draft-ietf-decade-problem-statement-05.txt
X-BeenThere: gen-art@ietf.org
X-Mailman-Version: 2.1.12
Precedence: list
List-Id: "GEN-ART: General Area Review Team" <gen-art.ietf.org>
List-Unsubscribe: <https://www.ietf.org/mailman/options/gen-art>, <mailto:gen-art-request@ietf.org?subject=unsubscribe>
List-Archive: <http://www.ietf.org/mail-archive/web/gen-art>
List-Post: <mailto:gen-art@ietf.org>
List-Help: <mailto:gen-art-request@ietf.org?subject=help>
List-Subscribe: <https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art>, <mailto:gen-art-request@ietf.org?subject=subscribe>
X-List-Received-Date: Mon, 27 Feb 2012 07:29:56 -0000

Hi Francis,

Thank you very much for the Gen-ART review. The nits will be resolved before publication.

BR,
-Haibin (as individual)

> -----Original Message-----
> From: Francis.Dupont@fdupont.fr [mailto:Francis.Dupont@fdupont.fr]
> Sent: Monday, February 27, 2012 1:17 AM
> To: gen-art@ietf.org
> Cc: draft-ietf-decade-problem-statement.all@tools.ietf.org
> Subject: review of draft-ietf-decade-problem-statement-05.txt
> 
> I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on
> Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at
> <http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.
> 
> Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments
> you may receive.
> 
> Document: draft-ietf-decade-problem-statement-05.txt
> Reviewer: Francis Dupont
> Review Date: 20120224
> IETF LC End Date: 20120306
> IESG Telechat date: unknown
> 
> Summary: Ready
> 
> Major issues: None
> 
> 
> Minor issues: None
> 
> Nits/editorial comments:
>  - 1 page 3: P2P and CDN are not in the list of well known abbrevs
>   (IMHO for the first one because P2P means Point-to-Point too)
>   so should be introduced at the first use in the body (and for CDN
>   IMHO as soon as possible, this is why I put this in 1)
> 
>  - 1 page 3: in the networks. -> in networks. ?
> 
>  - 3.1 page 4: IMHO [Internet Study 2008/2009] should be removed to
>   leave only the reference, i.e., [Internet_Study_2008-2009]
> 
>  - 4.1 page 7: 'nor can they manage access' is a wording which could
>   (so should) be improved a bit, IMHO 'nor access' is enough
> 
>  - A pages 11 and 12: e.g. -> e.g., (also at end of line but it is
>   in an appendix 'to be removed by the RFC Editor'...)
> 
> Regards
> 
> Francis.Dupont@fdupont.fr
> 
> PS: my dictionary dislikes 'infrastructural'?