Re: [Gen-art] review of draft-ietf-decade-problem-statement-05.txt
Songhaibin <haibin.song@huawei.com> Mon, 27 February 2012 07:29 UTC
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Date: Mon, 27 Feb 2012 07:30:11 +0000
From: Songhaibin <haibin.song@huawei.com>
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Cc: "decade@ietf.org" <decade@ietf.org>, "draft-ietf-decade-problem-statement.all@tools.ietf.org" <draft-ietf-decade-problem-statement.all@tools.ietf.org>
Subject: Re: [Gen-art] review of draft-ietf-decade-problem-statement-05.txt
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Hi Francis, Thank you very much for the Gen-ART review. The nits will be resolved before publication. BR, -Haibin (as individual) > -----Original Message----- > From: Francis.Dupont@fdupont.fr [mailto:Francis.Dupont@fdupont.fr] > Sent: Monday, February 27, 2012 1:17 AM > To: gen-art@ietf.org > Cc: draft-ietf-decade-problem-statement.all@tools.ietf.org > Subject: review of draft-ietf-decade-problem-statement-05.txt > > I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on > Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at > <http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>. > > Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments > you may receive. > > Document: draft-ietf-decade-problem-statement-05.txt > Reviewer: Francis Dupont > Review Date: 20120224 > IETF LC End Date: 20120306 > IESG Telechat date: unknown > > Summary: Ready > > Major issues: None > > > Minor issues: None > > Nits/editorial comments: > - 1 page 3: P2P and CDN are not in the list of well known abbrevs > (IMHO for the first one because P2P means Point-to-Point too) > so should be introduced at the first use in the body (and for CDN > IMHO as soon as possible, this is why I put this in 1) > > - 1 page 3: in the networks. -> in networks. ? > > - 3.1 page 4: IMHO [Internet Study 2008/2009] should be removed to > leave only the reference, i.e., [Internet_Study_2008-2009] > > - 4.1 page 7: 'nor can they manage access' is a wording which could > (so should) be improved a bit, IMHO 'nor access' is enough > > - A pages 11 and 12: e.g. -> e.g., (also at end of line but it is > in an appendix 'to be removed by the RFC Editor'...) > > Regards > > Francis.Dupont@fdupont.fr > > PS: my dictionary dislikes 'infrastructural'?
- [Gen-art] review of draft-ietf-decade-problem-sta… Francis Dupont
- Re: [Gen-art] review of draft-ietf-decade-problem… Songhaibin