[Gen-art] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-mpls-ldp-yang-06

Theresa Enghardt via Datatracker <noreply@ietf.org> Wed, 25 September 2019 07:50 UTC

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Subject: [Gen-art] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-mpls-ldp-yang-06
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Reviewer: Theresa Enghardt
Review result: Ready with Issues

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed
by the IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just
like any other last call comments.

For more information, please see the FAQ at

<https://trac.ietf.org/trac/gen/wiki/GenArtfaq>.

Document: draft-ietf-mpls-ldp-yang-06
Reviewer: Theresa Enghardt
Review Date: 2019-09-25
IETF LC End Date: 2019-10-04
IESG Telechat date: Not scheduled for a telechat

Summary:

This draft is basically ready for publication, but has some minor issues that
should be fixed before publication.

Major issues: None.

Minor issues:

Section 1.1:

Why is LDP IPv6 grouped in the "extended" category and not in the "base"
category, which the draft states to be the "minumum requirements for a typical
base LDP deployment" and "suffice for small deployments"? Are typical, small
deployments usually IPv4-only, and is this expected to remain true? Please
consider briefly explaining this design decision.

What does "igp sync" refer to? Is this the same as "igp-synchronization-delay"
in the extended model? Please consider expanding this abbreviation and/or
providing a reference.

Section 3:

Could you provide references for the "widely deployed non-RFC features", which
are part of the extended model, please?

"GR session is in recovery state" - What does "GR" refer to?

Section 10:

In the Security Considerations, it would be great if you could provide some
examples of writable/creatable/deletable data nodes which may be considered
sensitive or vulnerable, and what negative effects on network operations one
could expect if an attacker wrote to them.

Nits/editorial comments:

The document doesn't use any RFC 2119 keywords, yet has text resembling RFC
2119 boilerplate text. Please consider removing the RFC 2119 boilerplate text.

The document contains a few typos and grammar issues.
To improve readability, please check for consistency of upper/lower case terms,
for the use of definite and indefinite articles, and consider running a
spellchecker.

Some examples:

Section 1.1:

"The configuration and state items are divided into following two broad
categories" --> "The configuration and state items are divided into the
following two broad categories"

"This is worth higlighting " --> "It is worth highlighting"

Section 3:

"yang" - should this be all caps?

"rpc" - should this be all caps?

"grapically" --> "graphically"

Section 5.2.1:

"This container falls under global tree" --> "This container falls under the
global tree"

"The example of former is interface hello timers, and example of latter is
enabling hellos for a given AF under an interface." --> "The example of the
former is interface hello timers, and an example of the latter is enabling
hellos for a given AF under an interface."

"A peer is uniquely identified using its LSR Id and hence LSR Id is the key for
peer list" [missing punctuation]