Re: [Gen-art] Gen-ART Review of draft-ietf-l2vpn-vpls-pe-etree-10

"BRUNGARD, DEBORAH A" <db3546@att.com> Thu, 03 December 2015 15:03 UTC

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From: "BRUNGARD, DEBORAH A" <db3546@att.com>
To: Jari Arkko <jari.arkko@piuha.net>
Thread-Topic: [Gen-art] Gen-ART Review of draft-ietf-l2vpn-vpls-pe-etree-10
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Date: Thu, 3 Dec 2015 15:02:52 +0000
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Cc: IETF Gen-ART <gen-art@ietf.org>, Jiangyuanlong <jiangyuanlong@huawei.com>, "draft-ietf-l2vpn-vpls-pe-etree.all@ietf.org" <draft-ietf-l2vpn-vpls-pe-etree.all@ietf.org>, IETF <ietf@ietf.org>
Subject: Re: [Gen-art] Gen-ART Review of draft-ietf-l2vpn-vpls-pe-etree-10
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Hi Jari,

Yes, we'll be doing a new revision for addressing other comments.

I've asked for today's telechat if no discusses to mark it as approved, revised draft needed.

Much thanks Russ for your review!

Deborah


Sent from my iPhone

> On Dec 3, 2015, at 1:08 PM, Jari Arkko <jari.arkko@piuha.net> wrote:
> 
> Many thanks for your detailed review, Russ!
> 
> Yuanlong, will there be a new draft version or other edits before the draft
> is approved?
> 
> Jari
> 
>> On 17 Nov 2015, at 00:53, Jiangyuanlong <jiangyuanlong@huawei.com> wrote:
>> 
>> Russ,
>> 
>> Thanks a lot for your review and good observations.
>> Please see my comments in line.
>> 
>> Best regards,
>> Yuanlong
>> 
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: Russ Housley [mailto:housley@vigilsec.com]
>>> Sent: Saturday, November 14, 2015 1:28 AM
>>> To: draft-ietf-l2vpn-vpls-pe-etree.all@ietf.org
>>> Cc: IETF Gen-ART; IETF
>>> Subject: Gen-ART Review of draft-ietf-l2vpn-vpls-pe-etree-10
>>> 
>>> I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area Review
>>> Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed by the IESG for
>>> the IETF Chair. Please wait for direction from your document shepherd or AD
>>> before posting a new version of the draft.
>>> 
>>> For more information, please see the FAQ at
>>> <http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.
>>> 
>>> Document: draft-ietf-l2vpn-vpls-pe-etree-10
>>> Reviewer: Russ Housley
>>> Review Date: 2015-11-13
>>> IETF LC End Date: 2015-11-24
>>> IESG Telechat date: unknown
>>> 
>>> Summary:  Almost Ready
>>> 
>>> 
>>> Major Concerns: None
>>> 
>>> 
>>> Minor Concerns:
>>> 
>>> Sections 4.1 and 5.3.1 inclues a reference to [802.1Q-2011].  Should this be
>>> the 2014 version of the document?  If not, please add the informative
>>> reference for [802.1Q-2011].
>> [YJ] Yes, all these should refer to [802.1Q-2014].
>> 
>>> 
>>> Other Editorial Comments:
>>> 
>>> The Abstract should appear on the title page.
>> [YJ] OK.
>> 
>>> Section 3 needs a reference for MEF 6.1:
>>> s/Specification MEF 6.1/Specification MEF 6.1 [MEF6.1]/ Also, [MEF6.1]
>>> needs to be added as a normative reference.
>> [YJ] All these will be updated to MEF 6.2.
>> 
>>> Section 3 needs a reference for IEEE 802.1Q-2003:
>>> s/B.1.3 of IEEE 802.1Q-2003/B.1.3 of IEEE 802.1Q-2003 [802.1Q-2003]/ Also,
>>> please add an informative reference for [802.1Q-2003].
>> [YJ] Yes, we will add an informative reference for [802.1Q-2003].
>> 
>>> Third level section headings do not have space between the section number
>>> and the section title.  For example:
>>> s/5.3.1.PW Processing/5.3.1. PW Processing/
>> [YJ] OK.
>> 
>>> In Fig 4, there is room to shift the figure to the right, this will allow the "AC"
>>> labels to fit better on the left:
>>> 
>>>             +----------------------------------------+
>>>             |           VPLS-capable PE model        |
>>>             |   +---------------+          +------+  |
>>>             |   |               |==========|TVSI-1|------------
>>>  +---+  AC  |   |               ------------      |------------ PWs
>>>  |CE |----------|     Bridge    ------------      |------------
>>>  +---+      |   |               | Root &   +------+  |
>>>             |   |     Module    | Leaf VLAN   o      |
>>>             |   |               |             o      |
>>>             |   |               |             o      |
>>>             |   |               |             o      |
>>>             |   |               |             o      |
>>>  +---+  AC  |   |               |   VLAN-n +------+  |
>>>  |CE |----------|               ------------VSI-n |-------------
>>>  +---+      |   |               |==========|      |------------- PWs
>>>             |   |               |     ^    |      |-------------
>>>             |   +---------------+     |    +------+  |
>>>             |                         |              |
>>>             +-------------------------|--------------+
>>>                           LAN emulation Interface
>>> 
>>>         Figure 4  A VPLS PE Model for E-Tree with a Single T-VSI
>> 
>> 
>> [YJ] OK.
>> 
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