Re: [Gen-art] Gen-ART Last Call review of draft-ietf-ecrit-ecall-21

Meral Shirazipour <meral.shirazipour@ericsson.com> Fri, 06 January 2017 17:33 UTC

From: Meral Shirazipour <meral.shirazipour@ericsson.com>
To: Randall Gellens <rg+ietf@randy.pensive.org>, "draft-ietf-ecrit-ecall.all@tools.ietf.org" <draft-ietf-ecrit-ecall.all@tools.ietf.org>, "gen-art@ietf.org" <gen-art@ietf.org>
Thread-Topic: Gen-ART Last Call review of draft-ietf-ecrit-ecall-21
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Date: Fri, 06 Jan 2017 17:33:00 +0000
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Subject: Re: [Gen-art] Gen-ART Last Call review of draft-ietf-ecrit-ecall-21
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Hi,
  Thank you. 

Best,
Meral

> -----Original Message-----
> From: Randall Gellens [mailto:rg+ietf@randy.pensive.org]
> Sent: Friday, January 06, 2017 4:07 AM
> To: Meral Shirazipour <meral.shirazipour@ericsson.com>; draft-ietf-ecrit-
> ecall.all@tools.ietf.org; gen-art@ietf.org
> Subject: Re: Gen-ART Last Call review of draft-ietf-ecrit-ecall-21
> 
> Hi Meral,
> 
> Thank you for your review, I appreciate it.  Please see inline.
> 
> At 12:11 AM +0000 1/6/17, Meral Shirazipour wrote:
> 
> >  I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
> > Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed by
> > the IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just like
> > any other last call comments.
> >
> >  For more information, please see the FAQ at
> > <https://trac.ietf.org/trac/gen/wiki/GenArtfaq>.
> >
> >  Document: draft-ietf-ecrit-ecall-21
> >  Reviewer: Meral Shirazipour
> >  Review Date: 2017-01-05
> >  IETF LC End Date: 2017-01-06
> >  IESG Telechat date: 2017-01-19
> >
> >
> >  Summary: This draft is ready to be published as Standards Track RFC
> > but I have comments.
> >
> >  Major issues:
> >
> >  Minor issues:
> >  -I find the document could be clearer if put in context with other
> > documents related to the topic/if any.
> >  -By eCall do we mean voice and video calls? (is emergency sms another
> > possibility?)
> 
> The Introduction has text explaining that an eCall establishes a voice channel and
> carries vehicle data, but I added "providing a voice channel and transmission of
> data" earlier in the section to make this more clear.  eCall does not use SMS.
> 
> >
> >  Nits/editorial comments:
> >  -General: "next-generation eCall" and "NG-eCall" are both used.
> > Would be clearer to use only one.
> >  -[Page 10], "PSAP interpets"--typo-->"PSAP interprets"
> >  -[Page 13], "package to accomodate"--typo-->"package to accommodate"
> >  -[Page 17], "how it it used"----->"how it is used"
> >  -[Page 17], "when it is is required"----->"when it is required"
> >  -[Page 18], "it is is required"----->"it is required"  (two
> > occurrences)  -[Page 18], "how it it used."----->"how it is used."
> > (two occurrences)  -[Page 37], "Based on the the"---->"Based on the"
> >
> 
> Thank you.
> 
> --
> Randall Gellens
> Opinions are personal;    facts are suspect;    I speak for myself only
> -------------- Randomly selected tag: --------------- The only normal people are the
> ones you don't know very well.
>     --Joe Ancis

[Gen-art] Gen-ART Last Call review of draft-ietf-… Meral Shirazipour
Re: [Gen-art] Gen-ART Last Call review of draft-i… Randall Gellens
Re: [Gen-art] Gen-ART Last Call review of draft-i… Meral Shirazipour