[Gen-art] Last Call Review of draft-ietf-tls-sslv3-diediedie-02

Tom Taylor <tom.taylor.stds@gmail.com> Sun, 29 March 2015 23:21 UTC

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Date: Sun, 29 Mar 2015 19:21:33 -0400
From: Tom Taylor <tom.taylor.stds@gmail.com>
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To: Gen Art <gen-art@ietf.org>, Richard Barnes <rlb@ipv.sx>, Martin Thomson <martin.thomson@gmail.com>, Alfredo Pironti <alfredo@pironti.eu>, Adam Langley <agl@google.com>, "Joseph A. Salowey" <joe@salowey.net>, Stephen Farrell <stephen.farrell@cs.tcd.ie>
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Subject: [Gen-art] Last Call Review of draft-ietf-tls-sslv3-diediedie-02
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I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on
Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at

<http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.

Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments
you may receive.

Document: draft-ietf-tls-sslv3-diediedie-02
Reviewer: Tom Taylor
Review Date: 29 Mar 2015
IETF LC End Date: 30 Mar 20154
IESG Telechat date: (if known)

Summary: This document is good to go subject to the resolution of nits. 
Note normative downrefs to Informational RFC 4492 and Historic RFC 6101.

Major issues:

Minor issues:

Nits/editorial comments:

1. IDNits has a number of complaints that should be resolved:
   -- the UPDATES mentions RFC 5246 but it is not identified in the 
Abstract. Rather, "the TLS RFCs" are cited. Could I suggest adding "and 
explicitly RFC 5246" after that phrase. I can see where adding the 
others would get into a bit of a mess because they are obsoleted.
   -- a second IDNits complaint relates to missing RFC 2119 boilerplate.
   -- finally, there are several complaints about references, at least 
one of which is readily fixable.
   -- the other complaints relate to references.

2. Editorial style: Introduction first sentence: I'd suggest moving the 
phrase "since it was released in 1996" to the beginning of the sentence, 
followed by a comma.

3. Incomplete thought: Introduction final sentence:

OLD
SSLv3 now follows.

NEW
This view is now extended to include SSLv3.