[Gen-art] Gen-ART review of draft-ietf-v6ops-siit-dc-02
Christer Holmberg <christer.holmberg@ericsson.com> Thu, 17 September 2015 07:56 UTC
Return-Path: <christer.holmberg@ericsson.com>
X-Original-To: gen-art@ietfa.amsl.com
Delivered-To: gen-art@ietfa.amsl.com
Received: from localhost (ietfa.amsl.com [127.0.0.1]) by ietfa.amsl.com (Postfix) with ESMTP id 0BAE31AD080 for <gen-art@ietfa.amsl.com>; Thu, 17 Sep 2015 00:56:36 -0700 (PDT)
X-Virus-Scanned: amavisd-new at amsl.com
X-Spam-Flag: NO
X-Spam-Score: -4.2
X-Spam-Level:
X-Spam-Status: No, score=-4.2 tagged_above=-999 required=5 tests=[BAYES_00=-1.9, HTML_MESSAGE=0.001, RCVD_IN_DNSWL_MED=-2.3, SPF_PASS=-0.001] autolearn=ham
Received: from mail.ietf.org ([4.31.198.44]) by localhost (ietfa.amsl.com [127.0.0.1]) (amavisd-new, port 10024) with ESMTP id UNA2tSw3DBHI for <gen-art@ietfa.amsl.com>; Thu, 17 Sep 2015 00:56:33 -0700 (PDT)
Received: from sesbmg22.ericsson.net (sesbmg22.ericsson.net [193.180.251.48]) (using TLSv1 with cipher DHE-RSA-AES256-SHA (256/256 bits)) (No client certificate requested) by ietfa.amsl.com (Postfix) with ESMTPS id 8BAAD1AD04E for <gen-art@ietf.org>; Thu, 17 Sep 2015 00:56:32 -0700 (PDT)
X-AuditID: c1b4fb30-f79626d000006adf-fb-55fa722e4f6f
Received: from ESESSHC020.ericsson.se (Unknown_Domain [153.88.253.124]) by sesbmg22.ericsson.net (Symantec Mail Security) with SMTP id DD.B2.27359.E227AF55; Thu, 17 Sep 2015 09:56:30 +0200 (CEST)
Received: from ESESSMB209.ericsson.se ([169.254.9.81]) by ESESSHC020.ericsson.se ([153.88.183.78]) with mapi id 14.03.0248.002; Thu, 17 Sep 2015 09:56:30 +0200
From: Christer Holmberg <christer.holmberg@ericsson.com>
To: "gen-art@ietf.org" <gen-art@ietf.org>
Thread-Topic: Gen-ART review of draft-ietf-v6ops-siit-dc-02
Thread-Index: AdDxHLnzsF952TFSSUOstJS4Fo6abA==
Date: Thu, 17 Sep 2015 07:56:29 +0000
Message-ID: <7594FB04B1934943A5C02806D1A2204B37A8398F@ESESSMB209.ericsson.se>
Accept-Language: en-US
Content-Language: en-US
X-MS-Has-Attach:
X-MS-TNEF-Correlator:
x-originating-ip: [153.88.183.147]
Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="_000_7594FB04B1934943A5C02806D1A2204B37A8398FESESSMB209erics_"
MIME-Version: 1.0
X-Brightmail-Tracker: H4sIAAAAAAAAA+NgFnrJLMWRmVeSWpSXmKPExsUyM+Jvja5e0a9Qgx1v9Swu7fnOanH11WcW ByaPJUt+Mnl8ufyZLYApissmJTUnsyy1SN8ugSvjydbsghVhFd+bDzM1ME716WLk5JAQMJGY t+UNE4QtJnHh3no2EFtI4CijRM/dhC5GLiB7MaNE67EzQEUcHGwCFhLd/7RBakQENCXmrngL FmYWSJd4c88QJCwsYCbxYNsDdogSa4lJSw+zQNh6Ejf+HgdbxSKgKnF16W6wOK+Ar8TtKz/A 1jICnfD91BqwGmYBcYlbT+ZDnSYgsWTPeWYIW1Ti5eN/rCBrJQSUJKZtTYMoz5f4t+0SK8RI QYmTM5+wTGAUnoVk0iwkZbOQlEHEdSQW7P7EBmFrSyxb+JoZxj5z4DETsvgCRvZVjKLFqcVJ uelGRnqpRZnJxcX5eXp5qSWbGIFxc3DLb4MdjC+fOx5iFOBgVOLhfRD2K1SINbGsuDL3EKM0 B4uSOG8z04NQIYH0xJLU7NTUgtSi+KLSnNTiQ4xMHJxSDYzrJ9VVsbP93WCg0rb6zumtZ182 X5DLXHbIOHQ7q2jLy52vLy3Om5bG1pPxSIXR2O1EtHraPO7t0mH29gyz5y5eWXAl0EJ8upwX l8gPmwb2Ul7PszxLt1to75HrKnXY/iWkxe0P36EI61m3X1xsKeSJT+1xbT63bd97r66yRzZP w+7ffhzw7ZASS3FGoqEWc1FxIgAywl1TfAIAAA==
Archived-At: <http://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/gen-art/v8zo29b2kIJzfsAhyrL1QnzcbMo>
Cc: "draft-ietf-v6ops-siit-dc-02.all@tools.ietf.org" <draft-ietf-v6ops-siit-dc-02.all@tools.ietf.org>
Subject: [Gen-art] Gen-ART review of draft-ietf-v6ops-siit-dc-02
X-BeenThere: gen-art@ietf.org
X-Mailman-Version: 2.1.15
Precedence: list
List-Id: "GEN-ART: General Area Review Team" <gen-art.ietf.org>
List-Unsubscribe: <https://www.ietf.org/mailman/options/gen-art>, <mailto:gen-art-request@ietf.org?subject=unsubscribe>
List-Archive: <https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/browse/gen-art/>
List-Post: <mailto:gen-art@ietf.org>
List-Help: <mailto:gen-art-request@ietf.org?subject=help>
List-Subscribe: <https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art>, <mailto:gen-art-request@ietf.org?subject=subscribe>
X-List-Received-Date: Thu, 17 Sep 2015 07:56:36 -0000
I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at <http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq> Document: draft-ietf-v6ops-siit-dc-02.txt Reviewer: Christer Holmberg Review Date: 17 September 2015 IETF LC End Date: 22 September 2015 IETF Telechat Date: N/A Summary: The document is well written, and almost ready for publication. However, there are a few editorial nits that I ask the author to address. Major Issues: None Minor Issues: None Editorial Issues: Section 1 (Introduction): --------------------------------- Q1_1: In a few places the 'BR' abbreviation is used, but it is not enhanced until section 2. Please enhance on first occurrence in section 1. Q1_2: In a few places the 'BR' abbreviation is used, but it is not enhanced until section 2. Please enhance on first occurrence in section 1. The text says: "o To ensure that that the legacy users' IPv4 addresses remain visible to the nodes and applications." ...and: "This ensures that there is no loss of information; the end-user's IPv4 source address remains available to the application, allowing" It may be obvious, but would it be possible to somehow make it more clear that the text is not (I assume) talking about the application running on the IPv4 node, but an application running in an IPv6 network? In other parts of the document it is more clear. E.g. in section 3.1 the text says: "application running on the IPv6-only server", Section 6 (IANA Considerations): ---------------------------------------- Q6_1: Do we normally remove the section if there are no requests from IANA? Personally I prefer to keep the explicit "This draft makes no request of the IANA." sentence.
- [Gen-art] Gen-ART review of draft-ietf-v6ops-siit… Christer Holmberg
- [Gen-art] FW: Gen-ART review of draft-ietf-v6ops-… Christer Holmberg
- Re: [Gen-art] Gen-ART review of draft-ietf-v6ops-… Christer Holmberg
- Re: [Gen-art] Gen-ART review of draft-ietf-v6ops-… Tore Anderson
- Re: [Gen-art] Gen-ART review of draft-ietf-v6ops-… Christer Holmberg
- Re: [Gen-art] Gen-ART review of draft-ietf-v6ops-… Jari Arkko