Re: [Gen-art] [Last-Call] Genart telechat review of draft-ietf-ace-oscore-profile-17

Lars Eggert <lars@eggert.org> Thu, 25 March 2021 11:30 UTC

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From: Lars Eggert <lars@eggert.org>
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Date: Thu, 25 Mar 2021 13:29:53 +0200
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Cc: General Area Review Team <gen-art@ietf.org>, Last Call <last-call@ietf.org>, draft-ietf-ace-oscore-profile.all@ietf.org, ace@ietf.org
To: Elwyn Davies <elwynd@dial.pipex.com>
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Subject: Re: [Gen-art] [Last-Call] Genart telechat review of draft-ietf-ace-oscore-profile-17
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Elwyn, thank you for your review. I have entered a No Objection ballot for this document.

Lars

On 2021-3-24, at 0:29, Elwyn Davies via Datatracker <noreply@ietf.org> wrote:
> 
> Reviewer: Elwyn Davies
> Review result: Ready with Nits
> 
> I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
> Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed
> by the IESG for the IETF Chair. Please wait for direction from your
> document shepherd or AD before posting a new version of the draft.
> 
> For more information, please see the FAQ at
> 
> <https://trac.ietf.org/trac/gen/wiki/GenArtfaq>.
> 
> Document: draft-ietf-ace-oscore-profile-17
> Reviewer: Elwyn Davies
> Review Date: 2021-03-23
> IETF LC End Date: 2020-07-20
> IESG Telechat date: 2021-03-25
> 
> Summary:
> Ready with nits.  A very great improvement on the previously reviewed version.
> Thanks.
> 
> Major issues:
> None
> 
> Minor issues:
> 
> Would it be useful to provide some advice on the length of salts and IDs to go
> with the advice on length of nonces?  There is some in s3.3 of RFC 8613 but
> some other reference might be helpful, maybe placed in s3.2.1. and/or s4.
> 
> Nits/editorial comments:
> 
> General: The RFC Editor conforms rigorously to American practice and allows
> only the use of double quote marks (") in the text when marking strings as
> quotations and such like.  The document makes extensive but not totally
> consistent, use of single quotes to flag up field names and such like (e.g.,
> 'nonce1').  In practice these are unnecessary, but may be replaced by the RFC
> Editor if left in place.  Personally. I think most of them can be removed. NB
> this does not affect CBOR items such as h'1645.
> 
> General: There are lots of usages of 'CBOR diagnostic notation without the tag
> and value abbreviations'.  An abbreviation would reduce the verbiage.
> 
> General: It is slightly confusing to have Nonce 1/N1/nonce1 and Nonce
> 2/N2/nonce2 used in the document.  Am I right in thinking Nonce 1 and N1 are
> the same with nonce1  being the name of the JSON/CBOR parameter used to carry
> the value?  A few words of clarrification would help.
> 
> Abstract/s1:  It would be useful to introduce the name of the profile
> (coap_oscore) up front.  It rather sneaks out in s3.
> 
> s1, para 2: Need to expand CBOR on first use.
> 
> s2, end of para 3: s/as well/instead/? or s/as well/alternatively/.
> 
> s2, para 7 and s6, bullet 2: s/e.g. expiration./for example, expiration./
> 
> s3.1, para 3 and last para: s/reported/shown/
> 
> s3.1, Figure 2 and Figure 3: Appendix F.3 of draft-ietf-ace-oauth-authz reports
> that req_aud was replaced by audence at version 19 of the document.
> 
> s3.2, second set of bullets:  Need to expand HMAC and HKDF on first use (not
> well-known in RFC Editor list).  It would also be useful to put a pointer to
> section 11.1 of RFC 8152 here to indicate the allowed HKDF algorithms.
> 
> s3.2, 2nd para after 2nd set of bullets: s/The applications needs/The
> application needs/
> 
> s3.2, 3rd para after 2nd set of bullets: s/parameeter/parameter/
> 
> s3.2, 4th para after 2nd set of bullets: s/the use of CBOR web token/the use of
> a CBOR web token/
> 
> s3.2.1:
> OLD:
> IANA "OSCORE Security Context Parameters" registry (Section 9.4), defined for
> extensibility, and is specified below. NEW: IANA "OSCORE Security Context
> Parameters" registry (Section 9.4), defined for extensibility, and the initial
> set of parameters defined in this document is specified below. END
> 
> s3.2.1, below Figure 9: Expand CDDL.
> 
> s4.1, para 1 and s4.2, para 2: s/RECOMMENDS to use/RECOMMENDS using/
> 
> s4.1, para 1 and s4.2. para 2: s/as nonce's value/as the nonce's value/
> 
> s4.1, para 7: s/renew/update/  [renew implies the same identifiers are used -
> which is already specified!]
> 
> s4.1, last para and s4.3, last para: Does /authz-info have some special meaning?
> 
> s4.3, para 1: s/ Once receiving the 2.01 (Created) response from the RS/ Once
> the 2.01 (Created) response is received from the RS/
> 
> s4.3, Figure 12:  I assume the Master Salt is supposed to be a CBOR indefinite
> length string encoding (it doesn't say so) as it it consists of the
> concatenated CBOR strings of its component byte strings.  It would be strictly
> correct to start it with 0x5f and end with (0x)ff I would have thought. Be that
> as it may, I do not understand why the document is concerned with either CBOR
> or JSON/base64 encodings of the master salt.  It may be that I am missing
> something, but I didn't think that the master salt was ever put in a protocol
> message as such (deliberately), but only as one or two of its components such
> that it could be privately constructed at both endpoints once the three
> components had been shared, and was just the concatenation of the data bytes of
> the 3 components rather than involving their lengths.
> 
> s6. last para: s/observation/observations/
> 
> s7, para 3: s/RS pass/RS passes/
> 
> s9: It is now usual to give the URLs for the various existing registries as
> normative references.
> 
> s9.4: I am not aware that a single registry can have different
> review/specfication requirements for portions of its parameter space.  Is it
> seriously expected that there will be significant numbers of requests for
> values in this registry?  My instinct would be to go for specification required
> and advise allocation according to the orign and type of the specification.
> 
> 
> 
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