Re: [Gen-art] review of draft-ietf-hip-dex-06.txt

[Miika Komu <[e-mail]>]

Hi Francis,

thanks for detailed comments! My comments below.

> Gonzalo Camarillo <[e-mail]> Tue, 10 April 2018
> 11:39 UTCShow header
> 
> Bob, Rene, could you please get back to Francis (see below)?
> 
> Gonzalo
> 
> On 05/03/2018 1:14 PM, Gonzalo Camarillo wrote:
> > Bob, Rene,
> > 
> > could you please look into the review below and get back to
> > Francis?
> 
> Thanks!
> > 
> > Cheers,
> > 
> > Gonzalo
> > 
> > On 26/02/2018 7:30 PM, Francis Dupont wrote:
> > > I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General
> > > Area
> > > Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed
> > > by the IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just
> > > like any other last call comments.
> > > 
> > > For more information, please see the FAQ at
> > > 
> > > <https://trac.ietf.org/trac/gen/wiki/GenArtfaq>;.
> > > 
> > > Document: draft-ietf-hip-dex-06.txt
> > > Reviewer: Francis Dupont
> > > Review Date: 20180224
> > > IETF LC End Date: 20180226
> > > IESG Telechat date: unknown
> > > 
> > > Summary: Ready
> > > 
> > > Major issues: None
> > > 
> > > Minor issues: None
> > > 
> > > Nits/editorial comments: 
> > >  - ToC page 3: you use the US spelling of Acknowledgments in the
> > > ToC
> > >   and the English one (acknowledgements) in the technical body.
> > >   Even when it is not very consistent I believe this follows RFC
> 
> 7401
> > >   choice so I am fine with this.

changed to U.S. spelling.

> > >  - 2.1 page 6: please add/move to RFC 8174 which updates RFC 2119
> 
> fixing
> > >   the keyword case silly issue.

done

> > >  - 2.2 page 6: perhaps "sort" should be added here?

I replicated the "sort" defition that appears later in the text to here
as well

> > >  - 2.3 page 7 (twice): (c.f.  Section 3)  -> (see Section 3) or
> > >   simply (Section 3)

thanks, fixed using the first expression

> > >  - 4.1.3.2 page 16 (at end of line): e.g. -> e.g.,

fixed

> > >  - 5.3.3 page 25: I don't believe the critical property for
> > >   random value is to be "uniformly distributed" (for instance
> > >   I could have put "unpredictable"). I leave this to the security
> > >   directorate who should propose a better wording if they don't
> > > like
> > >   the current one...

I think this refers to that the probability of each output value from
the random value generator is the same, i.e., no value is "favored"
more than others, which should be a fair assumption for a randomly
generated values

> > >  - 5.3.4 page 26: same comment.

(see above)

> > >  - 6.1 page 27: this section does not really explain what is the
> 
> puzzle
> > >   (it only stands the equation to verify) but I remember the
> 
> explaination
> > >   was before with a reference to 6.1 so I have no concern.

(it was mentioned in section 1.1)

> > >  - 6.2.1 sender 3 page 27: hidden dependency on the sort
> > > definition
> > >   for HOST_g/HOST_l so gl/lg keys. Yes it is in 6.3 but 6.3 is
> 
> after.

Added extra sentence to the third sender step:

3.  Compute the CMAC using either HIP-gl or HIP-lg integrity key
retrieved from KEYMAT as defined in Section 6.3. HIP-gl refers to host
with greater HIT value and HIP-lg refers to the host with smaller HIT
value.

> > >  - 6.3 pages and 30: sort is used page 29 and defined after page
> > > 30,
> > >   this is why IMHO the question to move the definition to 2.2
> 
> notation
> > >   is a good one...

I replicated to section 2.2.

> > >  - 6.3 page 30: / is not associative so ceil(L/RHASH_len/8) is
> > > bad.
> > >   The text shows it must be ceil(L/(RHASH_len/8)) (vs
> 
> ceil((L/RHASH_len)/8))

good catch, now it is:

N       =  ceil(L/(RHASH_len/8))                                       
                                                                       
                                     

> > >  - 6.5 1. page 31: Otherwise, it must drop the packet. -> MUST

fixed as suggested

> > >  - 6.6 1. page 33: the system should process the R1 packet -> or
> 
> SHOULD
> > >   or (I prefer) the system processes the R1 packet

used the latter expression

> > >  - 6.6 8. page 34: The R1 packet may have the A-bit set -> can
> > >   (not better from a language point of view but clearer and BTW
> > >    used for instance in 6.10...)

fixed

> > >  - 6.6 13. page 34: it may either resend an I1 packet -> MAY? (cf
> 
> 11.)

fixed as suggested

> > >  - 6.7 5. page 36: Otherwise, the system should process the
> > > received
> 
> I2 ->
> > >   or SHOULD or (better) processes (and drop -> drops)

used the latter expression

> > >  - 6.7 15. page 37:
> > >      If the A-bit is set, the Initiator's HIT is anonymous and
> 
> should
> > >      not be stored permanently. -> IMHO SHOULD NOT or directly
> > > MUST
> 
> NOT

used the latter wording

> > >  - 6.9 page 39: If a NOTIFY packet is received in state I2-SENT,
> 
> this
> > >    packet may be an I2 reception acknowledgement of the optional
> > >    -> replace "may be" by "can be" or (better) "is"

used the latter

> > >  - 7 page 40: Please put "If a Responder is not under high load,
> > > #K
> > >    SHOULD be 0." in its own paragraph (i.e. add a break before
> 
> "If").
> > >    It makes clearer this sentence is a requirement when the text
> 
> before
> > >    is the rationale.

done

> > >  - 8 page 40: " either supports HIP DEX or HIPv2 must be able to
> 
> detect"
> > >   -> MUST or "has to"

used the latter

> > >  - 8 pages 40 and 41: I think that the first and last paragraphs
> > > of
> > >   section 8 say the same thing. Should you keep both?

deleted the last paragraph

> > >  - 9 page 41: I'd like to see a formal proof of the DEX protocol.
> > >   I believe you share this wish as you cite SIGMA.

hmm, I don't see the problem here. The text refers HIP BEX as SIGMA,
and tells why HIP DEX is *not* SIGMA compliant: "HIP DEX, however,
replaces the SIGMA-based authenticated Diffie-Hellman key exchange of
HIPv2 with an exchange of random keying material that is encrypted with
a Diffie-Hellman derived key."

> > >  - 9 page 42: I'd like to go further and recommend (lower case)
> > > the
> > >   use of a RNG (vs PRNG) when available (hopefully no longer an
> 
> exception).

I did not find "RNG" from the document

> > >  - 9 page 42: Hence, HIP DEX HITs should not be use -> SHOULD or
> > >   ought to?

I took the liberty to change this to MUST NOT be used