[Gen-art] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-mpls-ri-rsvp-frr-07

Theresa Enghardt via Datatracker <noreply@ietf.org> Wed, 30 October 2019 09:42 UTC

Return-Path: <noreply@ietf.org>
X-Original-To: gen-art@ietf.org
Delivered-To: gen-art@ietfa.amsl.com
Received: from ietfa.amsl.com (localhost [IPv6:::1]) by ietfa.amsl.com (Postfix) with ESMTP id 36B301208F2; Wed, 30 Oct 2019 02:42:03 -0700 (PDT)
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="utf-8"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
From: Theresa Enghardt via Datatracker <noreply@ietf.org>
To: <gen-art@ietf.org>
Cc: last-call@ietf.org, draft-ietf-mpls-ri-rsvp-frr.all@ietf.org, mpls@ietf.org
X-Test-IDTracker: no
X-IETF-IDTracker: 6.108.0
Auto-Submitted: auto-generated
Precedence: bulk
Reply-To: Theresa Enghardt <theresa@inet.tu-berlin.de>
Message-ID: <157242852318.32523.7768098106757158962@ietfa.amsl.com>
Date: Wed, 30 Oct 2019 02:42:03 -0700
Archived-At: <https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/gen-art/w4OEk-qCV5xFprZA0I_is8RHSTg>
Subject: [Gen-art] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-mpls-ri-rsvp-frr-07
X-BeenThere: gen-art@ietf.org
X-Mailman-Version: 2.1.29
List-Id: "GEN-ART: General Area Review Team" <gen-art.ietf.org>
List-Unsubscribe: <https://www.ietf.org/mailman/options/gen-art>, <mailto:gen-art-request@ietf.org?subject=unsubscribe>
List-Archive: <https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/browse/gen-art/>
List-Post: <mailto:gen-art@ietf.org>
List-Help: <mailto:gen-art-request@ietf.org?subject=help>
List-Subscribe: <https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art>, <mailto:gen-art-request@ietf.org?subject=subscribe>
X-List-Received-Date: Wed, 30 Oct 2019 09:42:04 -0000

Reviewer: Theresa Enghardt
Review result: Ready with Nits

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed
by the IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just
like any other last call comments.

For more information, please see the FAQ at

<https://trac.ietf.org/trac/gen/wiki/GenArtfaq>.

Document: draft-ietf-mpls-ri-rsvp-frr-07
Reviewer: Theresa Enghardt
Review Date: 2019-10-30
IETF LC End Date: 2019-11-05
IESG Telechat date: Not scheduled for a telechat

Summary: This draft is basically ready for publication, but has nits that
should be fixed before publication.

Major issues: None.

Minor issues: None.

Nits/editorial comments:

The abstract is hard to parse and could be improved by fixing the following
nits.

OLD: "Facility backup method allows"
NEW: "The facility backup method allows"

OLD: "The many-to-one nature of local repair technique"
NEW: "The many-to-one nature of this local repair technique"

OLD: "This document enumerates facility backup procedures in RFC 4090"
NEW: "This document enumerates the facility backup procedures in RFC 4090" [or
"several facility backup procedures", if not all procedures are enumerated here]

OLD: "and hence make facility backup method refresh-interval dependent."
NEW: "and hence make the facility backup method refresh-interval dependent."

OLD: "The RSVP-TE extensions defined in this document will enhance"
NEW: "This document defines RSVP-TE extensions to enhance"

Are "facility backup method", "facility backup procedure" and "facility backup
protection mechanism" all the same thing? Please consider using only a single
term to avoid confusion.

Please double-check the use of definite and indefinite articles in the rest of
the document as well.