[Gen-art] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-detnet-ip-over-mpls-05

Tim Evens via Datatracker <noreply@ietf.org> Mon, 20 April 2020 22:19 UTC

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Subject: [Gen-art] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-detnet-ip-over-mpls-05
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Reviewer: Tim Evens
Review result: Ready with Nits

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed
by the IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just
like any other last call comments.

For more information, please see the FAQ at

<https://trac.ietf.org/trac/gen/wiki/GenArtfaq>.

Document: draft-ietf-detnet-ip-over-mpls-??
Reviewer: Tim Evens
Review Date: 2020-04-20
IETF LC End Date: 2020-04-23
IESG Telechat date: Not scheduled for a telechat

Summary:

Major issues:

Minor issues:

Nits/editorial comments:

Some of the references refer to older revisions.  

Abbreviations:
* T-PE is referenced several times but not defined.
* d-CW is referenced in Figure 3 but not defined. 
* S-Label is referenced several times but not defined.


Figure 1 and 2 have the same label.

In Section 4.2:

* There is reference to section 5.1.1 and 5.1.2, but those sections 
do not exist in this draft.  Can you clarify which draft/RFC these
sections are referring to? 

* "Per [I-D.ietf-detnet-mpls], the DetNet MPLS data plane uses a single
   S-Label to support a single app flow.  Section 5.1.  DetNet IP Flow
   Identification Procedures ..."  

   Why is Section 5.1 referenced like this?

* "DetNet IP Flow Identification Procedures in [I-D.ietf-detnet-ip] states
   that a single DetNet flow is identified based on IP, and next level
   protocol, header information.  Section 4.4.  Aggregation..."  
   
   It would be more clear to specifically refer to the draft/rfc and section.