Re: [Gendispatch] First comments on draft-rsalz-2028bis-00.txt

[Barry Leiba <[e-mail]>]

-- Section 4.3 --

   The IESG is composed of the
   IETF Area Directors and the IETF Chair, who also chairs the IESG and
   is the Area Director for the General Area.

   All members of the IESG are nominated by a nominations committee
   (colloquially, NomCom), and are approved by the IAB.  See [NOMCOM]
   for a detailed description of the Nomcom procedures.

The document in general is inconsistent in how it handles this stuff.
For example, Section 4.4 says, "The IETF Chair is an ex-officio member
of the board.", but does not say that the IRTF Chair is also, and 4.3
does not mention that the IAB Chair is also an ex-officio member of
the IESG.

In 4.3 and 4.4, "and are approved by" should say, "and are confirmed
by", as that's the term that's used in the BCPs.

Sections 4.8 and 4.9 don't try to talk about how the members (of the
Trust and the LLC Board) are selected or confirmed, and simply refer
to the BCPs.  It's probably best if 4.3 and 4.4 follow that as well
(making my previous paragraph moot).

Section 4.8 should also include trademarks as something the Trust deals with.

The Internet Society seems to have consolidated its branding to the
full name and seems not to use "ISOC" these days, even to the point of
redirecting <isoc.org> to <internetsociety.org>.  Given the few
mentions that there are, we should probably use "the Internet Society"
throughout, and just not say "ISOC" at all (though I think it's fine
to use "[ISOC]" for the reference citation).

In Section 4.7 you have a typo: ISRG

In Section 4.9 you have a typo: rseponsible

-- 
Barry