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Re: [HOKEY] [hokey] #5: Rework last sentence in 1st paragraph of section 3.

Zhen Cao <zehn.cao@gmail.com> Thu, 29 September 2011 09:39 UTC

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Date: Thu, 29 Sep 2011 17:42:12 +0800
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From: Zhen Cao <zehn.cao@gmail.com>
To: Qin Wu <bill.wu@huawei.com>
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Cc: draft-ietf-hokey-arch-design@tools.ietf.org, hokey@ietf.org, gwz@net-zen.net
Subject: Re: [HOKEY] [hokey] #5: Rework last sentence in 1st paragraph of section 3.
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>
>> #5: Rework last sentence in 1st paragraph of section 3.
>>
>> The first paragraph of section 3 says:
>>
>>    This section investigates the design goals for the HOKEY
>>    architecture.  These include reducing the signaling overhead for
>>    re-authentication and early authentication, integrating local
>>    domain name discovery, and improving deployment scalability.
>>    These goals supplement the discussion in [RFC5169].
>>
>> How should the last sentence be reworked?
>
> [Qin]: I don't see this is not a major issue. If more clarity is requested,
> I suggest to change it into
> "
> These goals supplement the goal discussion in the section 4 of [RFC5169].


[z] I propose to change this sentence to the following:

These goals are a supplement to what's discussed in Section 4 of RFC5169.

-- 
Best regards,
Zhen

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